You Belong With Me
by 2degreesabovefreezing
Summary: Lovino wished for a lot of things. He wished he had a family or food or fitting clothes or friends but mainly just wished to belong. He doesn't quite get what he whished for when he meets filthy rich Antonio, who just came from Spain and has settled in the same town as the little thief. Still...it's a start. SpainxRomano AU. human names. T for dirty mouth. thank you!
1. Unanswered wishes

Chapter 1. Unanswered wishes.

WARNING! FOUL MOUTH AND PROFANITIES.

Lovino would have felt bad about hanging down a well and stealing other people's wishes, if it weren't for all the wishes he'd made that were never answered. He wished he didn't have to take money from a well in order to live a little longer. He wished he could eat more often and maybe even get fat. He wished his parents hadn't left him. He wished he had friends and people liked him. He wished he had a home or change of clothes or really just…a change of anything. He was sick of being tired, sick of being lonely, sick of being cold, sick of being hungry, and just sick of everything else!

As Lovino dipped down for a little handful of rusty silver coins, he heard a deep yell which he couldn't decipher but was sure it was aimed at him. He wriggled himself out and took a deep breath of clean air before catching a glance of his assaulter. Shit, an officer here to ruin the fun. Lovi hastily shoved the coins into his pocket and began to run which only prompted the officer to follow in pursuit.

Besides the obvious, the day had actually been tuning out quite nicely. It was cool out and for once the sun wasn't blinding the world below. Soft clouds pulled a gentle breeze in without summoning rain. Lovino snapped out of thinking about the weather and instead focused on not running into the multiple vendor carts and shoppers along the store side. Geez! Couldn't people just leave him alone? He noticed the lack of fruits or rotting ones being sold. That was to be expected, The Great War brought depression upon the whole world and no one could afford to eat meat anymore.

With panic, he looked around for a place to hide. Shops would notice him and rat him out and all the vendors already knew him as a thief. If he took shelter in a group of beggars, they'd surely turn him in for hopes of a reward. His chances were starting to wear thin as his eyes flickered in all directions. There! Finally, a tall, tan man in a nicely ironed suit turned out of a book store, holding his purchase in one arm and holding the door for an old woman with the other. Perfect. Rich, tall, kind. He could make this work.

Lovino ran up to him and sheltered himself behind the man who in return, confusedly tried to see the face of the small boy hiding in his coat tail.

"Um…hola? What are you-" He was snapped out of his thought when the raging officer ran up to him. The smaller boy tensed and held onto the Spaniard's coat tighter, letting him sense the urgency and fear.

"Oi! Get up! Leave the poor man alone and face your punishment, ya filthy crook!" Lovino stayed solid as a rock and the Spaniard tried to smile at the officer.

"I'm sure whatever he's stolen, he didn't mean it, right sir? Now there surely is a better way to resolve-"

"No, no. he's played this game before sir. Don't feel sorry for him."

"Ah- well still, you can't arrest a child."

"Nope, can't do that." He sighed. "Trust me, if I could, I'd have put him away a long time ago. No matter how much I catch him I can't seem to whack the lesson far into his thick skull." He used his club to make a hitting gesture. At this, the Spaniard reached back with one arm and held the little one against his back.

"None of that is really necessary officer, I can assure you. In fact, I plan to walk him back to his parents. There's no need to worry."

"Ain't got none." Lovino stiffened. "He's a mutt, they didn't want him." The Spanish man felt a twinge in his heart. No family? He didn't know how anyone could do that. The poor little boy had won his pity now.

"Right, well…I'm…taking him home." He said and offered his usual sunny smile. The officer looked thoroughly confused by this statement.

"Wait…like…to keep? Really sir, I know you're charitable or whatever but you don't want him. Hand him over please."

"But I just said I was keeping him." his smile never faltered.

"Put some money in the church box and you'll have done good. Just hand him over and go on your marry way, I'm sorry for disrupting your day sir."

The Spaniard's face turned stern as he pulled the boy from his back to his side. Lovino started to fear that he was actually going to hand him over but suddenly he felt warm fingers slipping into his hand and holding it. Wait…what? He looked up to the tall man who smiled down comfortingly before glaring at the officer.

"Thank you for your concern. Your services are appreciated but unless you want to drop a few ranks after I have a talk with your commanding officer, I suggest you take your duty elsewhere."

He officer was honestly shocked but nodded and walked off after mumbling, "Suit yourself."

Lovino looked at his savior, still not believing the numbing conversation that just went on.

"Wait…uh…what?" The tall man smiled brighter and happier than anyone the Italian had ever seen.

"Hola, my name is Antonio. Yours?" he said. Lovino was frozen by the smiling green eyes that happily settled against his own. He snapped himself out of it and looked away to hide his prominent blush.

"Fuck off." He answered sternly. Antonio almost squealed at the adorable boy. He was so cute! His cheeks puffed but still looked to soft that he had to retain himself from grabbing and squishing him. He wasn't a pervert! He just…liked the soft olive skin and spit-fire Italian accent.

"Come on now, I told you mine, right?" he pointed to his own face. "I'm Antonio Fernandez Carriedo." He repeated.

"Bastard." Lovino replied. Antonio chuckled and ducked a few inches so they were the same height and moved their faces close.

"Just whisper it, it can be a secret." He offered. Lovino moved away and scowled.

"Look, what you did was real nice and all but now you can just leave me alone. I'm a very busy person."

"I was serious when I said I was keeping you." He patted the smaller one's head who swatted at the hand.

"Fuck off, okay!? I don't want your pity, asshole!"

"Common chico, it's alright."

"I'm not afraid, idiot. I can take care of myself." He began to walk away but Antonio pulled him back by the hand he was still holding.

"Chico, please! I only want to help you." Antonio whined. The Italian looked back to him with hatred swelling over with golden honey eyes.

"Help!? You think I need help from some fat cat like you?! I don't need anyone! Every single person has given up on me but I'm doing just fine and if you think I'd kiss ass to you then you're dead wrong! Let go of me." He jerked his arm, letting his irritability get the better of him again.

"And who the hell said you could call me "Chico"?" Are you some kind of pervert!? If so, I'm not as little as I look so you're out of luck. Fuck off!"

Antonio pulled the fuming Italian into a tight embrace. Poor thing had never been loved before. He could feel the little one struggle against the hug and hiss profanities but he only smiled and supported the little body against his. "Its okay" he whispered softly against the Italian's ears.

The warm voice shocked Lovino's muscles into relaxing. He wasn't sure how he had done it but he suddenly felt safe, like the arms around him could repel any fear or anxiety. Lovino gently let out the breath in his lungs and murmured "Alright, whatever." Antonio released and grinned.

"Look how sweet you are." Antonio cooed. Heat rushed to the Italian's face and he became tomato red. Antonio began to laugh which earned him a good four knuckles in his stomach.

"Idiot, I better have my own fucking room. There's no way in hell I'm staying with you." Lovino began to walk away and Antonio happily totted beside him.

"Of course! And…how do you know where I live?"

"Because this is the side of town were fat-so's like you live." He pointed ahead, " Are you new or just stupid?"

"Um, well I am new but a lot of people have told me I'm not that bright."

"So you are rich."

"How do you conclude that?"

"Only rich people tell each other they're "not that bright" instead of "really fucking stupid.""

Antonio laughed. "See, that is where you're wrong amigo. I haven't much more than a penny to my name."

Lovino looked confused. "Wait but…then what about the nice clothes and expensive house?"

"My parents are head of a big corporation. Technically I should be off on my own by now but I'm not real good at running things and they're not really pushing it." Antonio nervously ruffled his hair.

"How old are you anyways? You look like a child molester."

He sighed. "ha ha, well…twenty four?"

Lovino snickered. "Mama's boy!"

"At least you don't have to worry about me molesting you." Toni retorted.

"Hey, I'm not a child! I'm nineteen! Don't treat me like a baby, you whore!" He hissed. He didn't know how he managed to feel so relaxed with this man he had never met before. Somehow, he didn't feel judged. He looked around at the shops they were passing and smiled the tiniest bit when he noticed the fat Italian man standing outside a café. "Leo!" He called, gaining the man's attention.

"Poco grintoso uno! E'bello vederti in giro!" (little feisty one! It's nice seeing you around!) The man answered. Antonio looked between the two with confusion, he hadn't been in the country long enough to catch onto the language.

"What did he say?" he asked the little Italian who answered with, "He thinks you look stupid" then started chatting away with the man in jumbled Italian. Next thing he knew, Lovino was being handed a chunk of bread, thanking the man, and returning to the Spaniard. Lovino excitedly held out his prize. The bread was growing light fuzz but regardless, Lovino dug a chunk out with his teeth and chewed.

"Chico! You can't eat that! You'll get sick!" Antonio fretted, watching with worry. Lovino gave him the ya gotta be kidding me face.

"Loosen your corset, oh gracious queen." Lovino said sarcastically and swallowed his squishy lump of food.

"Does that man even work there?" Antonio gestured towards Leo.

"I don't think so but he seems pretty content to do what he does." He was about to take another bite when it was unexpectedly swatted out of his hands and into a muddy puddle by the gutter. Lovino viciously pinned Antonio against the store front with only his deadly glare.

"What…the…hell." He spat with poison coursing his voice. Antonio flinched at the sudden evil.

"I-it was molding! Bad! Gross! Old!" Antonio shuddered in his defense.

Lovino retrieved his soggy bread and rubbed the muddy side against his already dark brown pants.

"Go away. You deserve crepes and wine anyways, your majesty" He chomped on the bread.

"I'm really sorry but you still you can't eat that!" Antonio held himself back from trying to dispose of it again and making the flustered Italian even angrier.

"Don't tell me what to do! I already told you, I don't need you. I can take care of myself!" Lovino always hated having a boss. That's why he didn't make friends, didn't keep jobs, and didn't seek refuge in a god like everyone else seemed to.

"I have lots of bread at my house! Just stop eating that!" The Spaniard protested. Lovino considered it, examining his watery sponge.

"But…it'll go to waste." He answered, knowing how important conservation was in the current state of depression. This bread could bring warmth to the belly of a starving child or life to another. Knowing both those positions, he couldn't toss it to the rats (though rats are good for eating too).

"Here, give it to me." Antonio held out a hand and received a soggy mush pile. He dug holes around the roots of five plants and pushed the bread into each before recovering them.

"I do this with my garden at home. The nutrients in the bread will feed these plants that will grow healthy fruits. Nothing wasted!"

Lovino looked at the older boy with wide eyes. He was…really cool. No! Stop that Lovino! Get your mind out of the gutter! He shook loose those thoughts then turned away like he didn't care.

"Do you… Do you grow tomatoes?" He murmured, trying not to lead on that he was interested. The big, green, Spanish eyes widened with excitement.

"Of course! Those are my favorite!"

"Me too!" The Italian chirped happily before realizing what he said and blushed furiously.

"How cute! You look like a tomato!" Antonio exclaimed and pinched a cheek. Lovino angrily shoved his hand away and walked away quickly, curl bobbing with his steps.

"Hey Chico! What's that hair thing?" Antonio asked curiously and he followed like a puppy at the Italian's heels.

"Hair. It's just not an ugly rat's nest like yours." Lovino answered bitterly.

"No, I mean that one that out. I like it! It's unique!" Toni cooed.

That certainly didn't help the blush fade quickly as Lovino had been hoping.

"Hair! Just leave it alone! Bastard. Now, which one is your house?"

Antonio inspected the district of large houses. All they were at least two stories tall with groomed lawns and paved walk ways.

"Um…I think it's more towards the back." Antonio stood on his toes as if he could see better. They continued to walk.

"So you really are pretty new." Lovino commented.

"Yeah, I guess. I lived in Spain my whole life but my parents wanted a change in pace. Italy is really nice." Antonio inspected the sky.

"What's Spain like?" Lovino asked as he looked at the big houses they passed. He never went into this area. He could make up lots of excuses like it was too far or too boring but the real reason was that he didn't belong. His clothes were out grown, dirty, and ripped. He didn't wear shoes because the souls were starting to rip their way free and they slowed him down when he ran. Being smelly must just be a cherry on top because he bathed in a river. Flat out, he didn't belong there.

"Spain was….mmmm." He smiled wide and hummed sweetly to the memory.

"It was always sunny, always warm; and the people were always friendly. We had a really big farm and if you woke up early enough you could watch the sun rise over the hill side….just…really magic." Antonio looked over to the smaller boy walking beside him.

"Hey! You're smiling!" The giddy Spaniard noted before Lovino turned deep red again and ripped the smile from his face, replacing it with a comfortable scowl.

"It was a face seizure. Don't make fun of me." Lovino huffed and walked a little faster.

"I wouldn't make fun of you! It looked nice on you!" Antonio defended.

"Yeah, whatever. Go die in a ditch!" Lovino hissed.

"Oh, mi tomata, don't be so snappy." Antonio pouted.

"MI TOMATA!? THE HELL?" Lovino attacked the laughing Spaniard with a fury of fists; making it know that he was a force to be reckoned with.

"But you won't tell me your name! is there something you'd prefer to be called?" Lovino thought about the question for a good five minutes.

"How about….the really cool, super strong and brave, manly man."

This response erected a loud laugh from Antonio who was gripping his gut and fighting to remain on two legs.

"I don't get what the hell's so funny!" Lovino growled and jabbed his foot into the older's leg, causing him to stumble.

"Y-you…you sound like Gil!" He answered before breaking out into more heart filled gags of laughter.

"Who the fuck is Gil?" Lovino was sure he was much cooler than said Gil.

Antonio wiped the tears from the side of his eyes and regained his posture, still chuckling under his breath.

"Gilbert was one of my closest friends in Spain. He was always going off about how awesome he was."

Lovino frowned a little bit. "Do you miss your friends?"

Antonio looked at him with a soft smile.

"Of course I do. I'll still talk to them and visit them but they were and still a huge part of my life. What about you? Who're your friends?"

Lovino took a moment to think that over. None popped to mind to he started scratching the bottom of the bowl.

"Um…well Leo I guess…uh…I used to hang out with a cat…the nuns.."

"What kind of nuns? Hot, sexy nuns?" Antonio grinned.

"Old saggy nuns." Lovino retorted, smiling maybe just the tiniest little bit.

"Why the nuns? You into that sorta stuff?" He kicked a rock along.

"No! Gross! Idiot, I lived with them the first eleven years of my life. Ew, gross Toni." he growled, not noticing the nickname.

"Why?" He asked, smiling wider at the friendly name.

"What the hell is with you and the questions!?" He kicked Toni's rock away.

"Just curious." The Spaniard stated simply.

Lovino had no idea how the Spaniard managed to just draw information out of him! It made him extremely angry with himself but…for some reason…not angry with the Spaniard.

"I had muscle fits a lot when I was younger. So my parents reasoned that I was possessed and left me at the church so I could either die at the hands of God or be cleansed."

"What!? But lots of babies seizure!" the explanation sounded ridiculous to him. He may be an idiot but even he knew such information.

Lovino sighed. "My family has always been poor. No education and no doctor's visits. The only thing that kept us alive was a strong faith which…didn't always provide the best explanations. Alright? Happy?"

Antonio thought (my, that is dangerous), ignoring the question Lovino asked.

"So…didn't they come for you once they saw that the fits were gone?"

"The fits didn't stop till I was eleven. But by then I had no idea were they were and neither did anyone else. Whole lot of good that did me though. I just went from one bad rep to another." Lovino suddenly found his feet very interesting. Antonio watched with concern.

"What reps?" Antonio asked softly.

Oh no, oh shit here it comes. Lovino tried to push away the memories banging at the sides of his head. He kept telling himself to not think about it, it wasn't his fault. Forget. Forget. Forget. Forge-

A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder and he looked up at Toni's weary smile.

"I'm sorry I asked. Let's talk about something else, okay?" He offered. Lovino just nodded and looked back down at his dirty feet.

"Um…so you like tomatoes? I've got some really good ones growing right now. You can eat them whenever you want!" He cupped the imaginary fruit in his hands, smiling as if it were really there.

"I'm not staying long." Lovino interrupted the Spaniard' tomato-filled daydream.

"What? But you said-"

"I didn't say anything. I'll go back for some bread and tomatoes but I take care of myself. I also seriously doubt your family wants me there".

Antonio frowned, an expression that really didn't suit him at all.

"They'll like you, I know it!"

"Still, I don't need to feed off other people. I'm happier being self-sufficient." Lovino watched the houses again.

"But!" Antonio squeaked. "You can stay just a little while, right? Give me a chance to be hospitable and finally use a guest room. Just a little while?"

He gave Lovino a puppy dog face, his emerald orbs practically begging him. The Italian flushed and was quiet for a few moments.

"I dunno…." was his final answer.

Antonio smiled widely, taking that as, "I'll give it a chance!'' which he already knew the Italian would never say.

"Maybe when my friends come to visit, you could meet them! You guys would get along. Just remember to spend time with me cause you were my friend first!"

"We're friends?" Lovino hesitated, hearing those words for the first time and not sure how he was supposed to respond to the overly affectionate Spaniard. Damn him! He made Lovino weaker, like putty to him.

"Well aren't we?" Antonio curiously peeked into the beautiful hazel orbs studying the ground. Did he just think beautiful? …oh well. They were.

There was a long, contemplating silence.

…

"I guess we are." Lovino merely breathed out.

The overly excited Spaniard began blabbing obnoxiously fast as Lovino watched the ground. He tried to piece together what he'd just said and what it meant for the two of them.

"And I bet I could teach you how to juggle. I'm not very good myself but we can practice together and be like a circus act! Oh! I have a guitar and I could teach you that! I bet you be really good if-"

"-ino" the Italian suddenly cut him off without listening to a word of it.

"What?"

"Lovino. That's my name…you can call me that." He didn't have a last name to offer but it was his only identity.

"That's…a really beautiful name…" Antonio said lightly, as if his words might break the light air between them.

"No, it's just a normal name." he corrected.

"No! it is the name that makes you you. I like it!" An ever shiny smile played across Lovino's lips. Lovino almost passed out from how much he was blushing and how much his brain was trying to process. Liked him? Did he hear wrong? No…he could have sworn…he likes Lovino…he couldn't manage to fully consume the thought.

"We're here." Antonio felt a little bad for breaking the train of thought that seemed to be really interesting the young boy. Lovino looked up at the incredibly huge manor. Dozens of windows, extensions popping out from every angle and more gables than he could count.

He couldn't go in. nope. No way. He stood like a statue as Antonio continued forward.

"We enter up at the front door, Lovi." He explained in case maybe this was confusing Lovino. Antonio was always happy to share his vast knowledge. Lovino let the nickname slip as he fell prisoner to the tower's mighty gaze. No, he should leave now. He had a nice box waiting for him along the river. This was too much.

"Lovino…are you coming in?" He nodded his head towards the house.

The little Italian just shook his head.

"I don't belong here…" He mumbled. Antonio looked utterly confused.

"What? Of course you do." He took his hand and tugged.

"No, I don't." Lovino said sternly, resisting the tug. "I'm not the kind of person who lives in a place like this. I don't belong here or even on this side of town."

"Lovi…" he took both of the small, frail hands in his own.

"But you belong with me…after all, we're friends. You said so yourself. Common, standing at the front gate is rude." This time he pulled and succeeded to bring the stumbling Italian with him.

He… he belonged with Antonio… that was right… it felt right... felt safe… it had to be right…

He belonged with Antonio.

[Thank you immensely for reading my story. I'd love for you to comment]


	2. A new feeling

Chapter 2.

WARNING, FOUL MOUTH AND PROFANITIES.

Lovino's POV.

I had assumed Antonio would have a big house, but I swear this thing was its own country. Not only did everyone have their own room, there were rooms for the servants and guests. There were also rooms they didn't have anything to do with! The main hall was massive and marble. Mammoth pillars supported the ceiling as if they were holding up the gods. A sea of carpet masked the floor and beautiful paintings heavily decorated the halls, their brushed on smiles greeted the new comers and kept the room under a silent surveillance.

"I thought you guys just moved in!" I whispered to my new 'friend', afraid of disturbing the soundless abode.

"We have a lot of help. MAMA! I'M HOME!" He answered simply before shouting for a woman who I presumed was his mother. Duh. Soon, the clicking of heels pitched through the house and a tall woman appeared from one of the many hallways, holding herself like royalty. Everything about her presence made me feel inferior. She was tall, gorgeous, poised, and everything else a perfect woman ought to be. She proudly walked towards us, either unaware or un-bothered by the obvious admirers. When she stood in front of us, I could study her more clearly.

She had the same kind face as Antonio. They shared the big, green, smiling eyes and the soft brown lips. Though hers were coated thickly with scarlet lipstick. Both of them flashed smiles that could stun an adult grizzly. Both wore chocolate curls on their head though hers were loosely pulled into a bun. Both presented some sort of essence that made you feel completely relaxed. The lady looked to be fairly young while sporting a silky red dress with white polka-dot and a pair of matching ninety degree heels.

She saw the two of us and pulled her lips up into a giggling smile before embracing her son. "Hola! Welcome home, sweet bambino!" Her voice sang to him before looking to me. I froze under her overwhelming gaze, not looking very cool at all.

"Hello to you to! Oh, you must be one of my baby's friends! Look how cute you are! Oh, I could just eat you up, you're so precious!" She cooed to me. It was obvious the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Antonio hugged her back for a moment before prying her off and also looking at me. Oh great, now I'm up against the gaze of two, curious, doe eyed creatures. I might have vomited if it weren't for the fear and pressure racking my entire body.

"Yeah, I met him just a bit ago in the market." I silently thanked him for leaving out the whole police chase incident. Mrs. Carriedo laughed lightly to herself, as if enjoying her own private joke.

"Honey, I believe she's a little girl. Might it be that you were thrown off by the short hair?" she examined me. I did not appreciate that and thought it time I speak up.

"I-I'm a boy!" I chirped, not sounding very confident but this, I was sure of.

"What, seriously? But your facial structure, eye lashes, and body." She inspected me more seriously. It was only because of the fact that she was a woman and I was terrified that I didn't cuss her out. Sure, my weight tends to migrate to my hips and thighs but it's still rude to call someone a girl! I didn't even have tits-

Before I could finish my thought, a cool hand slipped under my shirt and pulled it up. Wait- was she seriously checking for tits!? I heard her and Toni let out soft gasps and I knew why. She was revealing my badly malnourished body. You wouldn't have found a picture of it in the dictionary next to the word, healthy. That was for sure. Pigment lacking skin stretched tightly over my prominent rib cage then caved in were I should have a pouch of pudge. I blushed furiously but before I could wretch my shirt away from her hands, she gently pulled it back over my withering frame and smiled kindly.

"You're right, you're a little boy. I'm sorry." She turned her pitied gaze over to Antonio who understood and returned it.

"Why don't you boys make your selves something to eat. Anything. My home is open to you…" She left a questioning silence, asking me to fill in the blank.

"Lovino." I answered without a fight. I cleared my throat to try to mask the terrified sound.

"Right, Lovino." She gently patted my shoulder with her ever gracious hand. "I have work to do but you boys feel free to wander and play. Antonio, your father won't make it home tonight." Antonio nodded, seeming to know a extra little truth to that before his mother walked off and disappeared.

"Play? I'm not a baby." I corrected stubbornly but stuck to the Spaniard's side as he led us to the kitchen. I didn't like him or anything, it's just that this was a new place and I was a little overwhelmed by the threat of being lost. Plus…it did sort of feel better when I was around him.

The kitchen, as I had expected, was bigger and shinier than anything I had ever seen but I found my attention grabbed by a bowl of fruit on the island counter. My tongue suddenly rushed with warmth as my mouth began to pool with drool. Not that I hadn't seen fruit before but these were like a painting. Firm and soft while juicy and succulent inside. The bright assembly of colors made themselves a feast for my eyes and before I knew it, I was hypnotized by a stupid bowl of fruit. Fruit, seriously!

Apparently, Antonio had realized my predicament and laughed.

"Eat whatever you want Lovi. A lot of the fruit is imported from out of the country so it should all be pretty ripe." Antonio offered. My mouth watered with every word but I wasn't really sure I could. A stranger's food from a stranger's house…but…I was really hungry and they did look really good… Oh, fuck it. Hunger trumps modesty and manner. I practically flung myself at the bowl. Not my proudest moment but Antonio seemed to find it really damn hilarious. I'd have to remind myself to choke him with his own hands later. Nobody laughs at a desperate and pathetic Lovino.

I picked up the bright yellow one on top and cradled it in my cupped hands. I had seen one of these before but I couldn't really put my finger on where. What was its name? It seemed memorable but I just couldn't come up with a name. Not a banana, those are long, this was a little bulb. Not a grapefruit, it was smaller than I remember grapefruits being. Maybe I had seen it growing on a tree, which seemed familiar. I dug a nail into its not-so-protective exterior and ripped it free. It looked like a yellow orange but still, nothing came back to me so I did the only reasonable thing and bit out a chunk…which I instantly regretted.

The betrayal fruit was not as candied and sweet as it looked. Far from it. In fact, the fruit was a hateful orb of sin and bitterness. I swallowed quickly, refusing to sacrifice what was left of my pride by rejecting it from my mouth. I was not some spoiled infant; I could finish what I started. Still, I could feel it burn against my throat.

I was interrupted by heavy laughing, rupturing from Antonio who was once again struggling to not crumple into a ball of hysteria on the ground.

"Why the hell didn't you warn me?!" I hissed, chucking the mauled fruit at him with impressive force. It hit him but did no damage as he tried choking words out through his fit.

"Y-y-you looked…you look at the lemon…l-l-like it was a chunk of gold or something but then you actually ate it and…a-and…BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Your face!" He folded in half and clutched his aching sides. I silently prayed that they would hurt so bad that he'd be permanently crippled. Why did this bastard laugh so damn much!?

"Shut your whore mouth!" I scolded again. The laughing subsided a bit at my command but didn't quite stop.

"Lo siento, Lovi. Don't be mad." His wide smile didn't convince me of his apology but I let it slide. It was a little difficult to stay mad at him. It was like kicking a puppy; it left a tingling in your gut. He reached over and picked up a red-orange fruit.

"This one is a mango; you'll like it more than the lemon. I promise." He handed it to me. I scowled at it skeptically then at his face. He didn't seem to be wearing a liar's face. I only ever get promised stuff like that when people want a good laugh. Note: if it's a bottle in a paper bag, don't drink it. No matter how convincing the salesman seems, don't.

I studied his face again. He didn't look like those boys; he looked like he genuinely wanted to give me something I could enjoy. I felt my heart take a sudden jump. What the fuck was that!? Better not have been a fucking heart attack. I wasn't kicking the bucket just yet, not when things seemed to be going in my favor. I bitterly swiped the fruit from his hand and took a little tester bite.

I was instantly rewarded by an explosion of rich flavor. I slowly chewed it, experimenting with the texture and running the sugary fruit over my tongue. My God, it was really good. I found myself brutally ravishing the remainder of the bulb. I didn't care that its sweet blood was running down my face. I honestly didn't care about much other capturing that sweet tanginess over and over again with each bite. I was in heaven until I realized how hard it was to chew through the core.

Antonio, as if hearing my thoughts, pulled out a knife and chopped thought the hard exterior of another trunk-like, yellow fruit.

"Pineapple." He declared and happily handed me a huge chunk of the fruit. I dug my teeth in again and was again rewarded by a new, spell binding taste. I consumed the entire exotic fruit in seconds before stopping to pant and brace myself on the counter. Food…was God. I reasoned that nothing felt better than shoveling food down like a barbarian.

My new friend placed a hand on my back, realizing what a monster I became around food. He looked at me with a bit of worry…it was enough to make me feel ashamed. How could I let him see me like that? And we were just beginning to become friends. God Lovino! Why can't you just control yourself? He probably thinks you're a gross, pathetic, gutter rat. Contrary to my beliefs, the hand only grew warmer.

"I think you should slow down now. It's not good to eat so fast. Common, I'll show you to the tub so you can take a bath." Antonio offered me a comforting smile. What's with this guy? Why does he have to be so damn confusing? Take all of the things I expect and am used to, then do the exact opposite and you're an Antonio. I nodded quietly, this whole quiet thing is new for me, and let him lead be to a giant, beautifully tiled room. Why was I okay with him dragging me around? Why didn't I curse and swear and kick? This day was just too confusing; maybe a bath would be nice.

I approached the giant indoor tub and knocked the wall a bit, wondering how to get the water out. I'd never used one like this before. When I was with the nuns, they heated water and washed me in a metal basin and now I just jumped in the river. Antonio was happy to explain the function of the handles for me. I think he just liked taking to people. The water started to run so I lifted a leg in.

"Lovinito! You have to take off your clothes!" He objected.

"Then how the hell are they supposed to get clean, pervert?!" I complied and pulled the foot out.

"Someone will take them to the laundry room where someone else will wash them." He explained, as if it were some magical force. It must be a rich person thing to have everything done for you. I sighed.

"Fine, but only cause I'm a good guest. Where am I supposed to sit around until they're dry? It's February, mind you so the answer better be in a sauna."

"Uh…anywhere I guess." He answered, a bit of confusion hinted to his voice.

"W-What!? No! I'm not roaming around your house with my kibble and bits hanging out like some a crazy! I know your mom is confused about my gender but that's-"

"No, Lovi! I have clothes that will fit you! Don't worry!" He interrupted me and tried to sooth my nerves with his calm voice…which totally worked. Damn him.

"Aww~ you're so cute when you're embarrassed~" He jokingly mentioned and I was happy to mention how he looks like a hobo with his hair mat and gross face. Lovino: 1.

"Turn around, idiot." I ordered and began to tug up my shirt. He obeyed and hummed a tune often played by the mariachi band in the annual festivals. I found myself smiling at the idiot and and thinking thoughts I wanted to smack myself for. He's a friend Lovino, and a boy, Boy's aren't cute or charming. Learn that before you start thinking more stupid things and get confused.

"Alright, you can turn back around." I informed him once I was finished scolding myself and got into the hot tub. It felt so good. The water in the river was cold around this time of the year so the warm water was as comforting and gentle as that hug that- stop it Lovino! What the hell is wrong with you! You really need to sleep. Like, really need to sleep this off.

Antonio turned around and smiled his big dumb stupid grin. He pulled a strange mesh ball from the cupboard and wet it in the tub before lathering it with soap and handing it to me. I looked at it with confusion and distrust.

"What is it?" I questioned. Instead of answering with words, he gently rubbed it against my bulging spine. He was so gentle and when his hand brushed against my skin, it was so warm and soft that my breath hitched in my throat. It was so relaxing, I felt like I could melt right into the tub- no! Lovino! What are you doing! Smack his hand away! Tell him he's a pervert or molester or anything! Don't just sit there like you like it! What is going on with you!

I swatted the hand, blushing furiously and settled with telling him he was a bastard but he didn't seem to mind at all. My insults were just reflected without any effort, like they had come across as, "Don't clean me, you're embarrassing me" and "You're hand feels nice, almost sinly." Which I was positive I didn't say. What was with this guy!?

"Alright." He handed me the sponge and contently sat on the ground by the tub. I felt my face tingling with blush and my heartbeat coursed my whole body.

"You don't have to sit there, fuck hole. I can clean myself, thank-you-very-much." That was a lie. I had no idea what any of the bottles around me did. What if I used something that looked like shampoo and all of my hair fell out? That would pretty much ruin my day. I didn't use soap unless it was a special occasion and even then, it was a small bottle of dish soap I had found.

"But I don't have anyone else to be around. Don't worry, I'm not looking at you pen-"

"DON'T SAY IT! DON'T SAY IT! YOU CAN STAY!" I interrupted. I wasn't going to let him talk about my…hoo-hoos. Antonio appeared to be very pleased with himself as he adjusted into a more comfortable sit and watched me. His smile wasn't as cheeky as it was when we first met; it was a little bit softer, like he was looking with something other than dumb happiness.

"So, Lovinito, How come you've never made any friends before?"

"Uh…well I guess everyone was just too annoying or petty and self-obsessed. A few people wanted to get me to work for them or run a dangerous errand. Most just pitied me, that was the worst. They treated me like a poor little injured bird, like they were a saint and I should be eternally grateful. I don't need their help." I answered as I began to wash myself and curse myself for again being so loose with information.

He smiled like he understood me, like no matter what I said he would understand. "What about girls? You get with the ladies?"

"Wh-what kind of a question is that!?" I just about choked on bath water.

"I was just wondering." He mused and played with the soaps as if what he had just asked was no big deal.

Here comes river Lovino, private information just dribbling out of his mouth without an end. "No, if it's really so fuck'n important to you. I have more important things to do and nobody really wants to go to bed with a foul-mouthed skeleton except for creepy old men. What about you?" I mentally slapped himself. Why the hell would you ask that!? Now it sounds like you care! Idiot!

Antonio's not caring attitude was replaced with a mild frown. "Yeah, A few times. Pretty much with anybody who asks. I know I shouldn't but when they look at me with hope and desperation I can't help it, they need me. It's like a magic medicine that makes everyone feel better. I can't look at a sick person and not offer them medicine." He kept his eyes fixed on the soaps.

A deep knife plunged my chest. I don't know why it hurt, it shouldn't…but…it did. Maybe it was because he had already given his love to so many people when I, deep deep deep deep down, wished it had been me. Maybe because I knew he was so generous and that had been badly taken for granted by people who didn't care about him. Whatever it was, it hurt physically without any scars or bruises. It hurt like something I had never experienced before, I didn't know what to do other than look at the water and try to block out the blasting loud silence. I tried to wait for a stupid answer from Antonio or some stupid laughing but he once again did the opposite of what I was expecting and remained silent. Soon, the pressure in the room was crushing my limbs and I had to do something I would have never done. Something I never knew exactly why I did other that it felt right. I opened my mouth and let soft song pour out.

I don't know why I did it. I never sing, not for anyone, not ever. The nuns taught me lots of hymns but as I grew and my voice matured, they put a stop to it. They told me that god blesses certain people with certain gifts and we must use those gifts only in worship. Giving away such a blessing is ungrateful so I just stopped singing and never did again until then. I felt like it was the only thing that fit into the thick atmosphere and Antonio agreed. As soon as the last note was carefully breathed out, I was embraced by big warm arms.

I really had no idea what was going on but the way he hugged me was like nothing else. At that moment I knew my feeling of confusion were shared. We had only known each other one or two hours but we both already knew that it wasn't just friendship. Neither of us had the slightest clue what it was but it wasn't just friendship. I was abruptly released and abandoned as Antonio swiftly left and closed the door.

I… I didn't know what to think. Since I met Antonio, everything just got more confusing…d-dammit! This wasn't me. Things like this shouldn't be complicated. I shouldn't be starting at the bathroom wall and questioning everything I thought I knew. I shouldn't be thinking about how much time I wanted to spend with this man who was practically a stranger. None of this should be happening, It wasn't right. I shouldn't be confused; things should be easy, friendly, and simple. I buried my aching head in my hands and tried so hard to make sense of…just anything.

Antonio's POV.

I walked out of the room. Really, I would do anything just to not be in that room any more. Anything to be away from that boy who made my stomach churn and my hands shaky. Did he even know what he was doing to me? It was indescribable…a feeling that made me want to smile and never stop but it also made me want to cry until I wrung my body dry. Why?

Why him? Who was he? What on earth was he doing to me?

Was I dying? No… it was too surreal. I wanted to go as far away from him as possible. I wanted to move that feeling as far from me as I could so I could forget it and go back to how I was before. How I was a few hours ago but I started something really big and now every step I took away, my heart tugged me back. I had to be close to him. I had to be close to that feeling again.

No, I wished that feeling was gone. This was something too big, Too much. This feeling was never going away. This raging fever wasn't going to leave me alone. If only I could go back and never meet Lovi, keep living carefree. As I thought that, it hurt worse. I couldn't regret meeting precious little Lovi! Lovi made me…happy. Not just any happy. It was a new happy that filled my entire body. The feeling was so warm, so pure that I just…I just…ugh! I needed to talk with my mother right away. She would ease my mind and help me out of this awful situation so me and Lovi could be happy friends like I wanted.

I had walked myself to her office before I could even realize that I wanted to go there. I wrapped my knuckles against the softly, not being able to give my usual amount of energy. This brought urgency inside the room and the door swung open, my mother standing before me and wondering what was wrong. She saw my face and smiled kindly, inviting me in. I readily accepted the invitation and found an extra chair in her office. Was she expecting me? Did she know this was going to happen to me. Did she know that in minutes, her son was going to more miserable and also happier than he'd ever been in his whole life? If only she had given me warning.

I sat on the chair and looked at her with eyes that were desperate for answers.

"Oh, my poor baby." She whispered and gave understanding smile to comfort me.

"You know?" I asked. Not as a question, as a submission.

"Si, mi bamino. I knew the second I saw you look at that boy." She softly rubbed my back which I appreciated very much and showed her by lightly pulling up my lips.

"I don't know what's wrong with me…we're not just friends…" I watched my hands fiddle with each other.

"You're right about that. And you should know that little Lovino is going through the same things as you."

My eyes obviously widened. Poor Lovi! I would never with this sort of confusion on anyone, especially not my little Lovi. Wait, my Lovi? Since when did I… God, his was worse than it appeared. I just kept wishing it would go away. We could be best friends and happy together. Damn everything.

"Relax my baby." She cooed and rubbed in big circles. "Lovino doesn't have his mama here to rub his back for him so you'll have to do it. He's probably very scared, right? Try to be gentle with him, act like everything is normal and wait till he wants to talk about it. You two will figure this out together. Alright?" I nodded and buried my face in her shoulder. She smelled so good, so comforting.

"I know that this is very sudden for you. Very scary and unexplained but you should go back to Lovino, he needs you now whether he says so or not." I nodded and took one last breath in her safety before thanking her and leaving.

I wasn't going to let Lovino suffer this kind of confusion on his own. After all, It was my fault he was feeling this.

Lovino's POV.

If I said I was confused, it would be the greatest understatement of my life. Because I wasn't confused, I just knew nothing. Everything I used to know about people, about Antonio, about myself was wrong. I scrubbed my palms into my eye sockets, trying to rub away the pain of all of this but nothing came. No release. No savior. Only me and and my thoughts which could only hurt me more. I didn't know what I wanted, to leave this feeling, to embrace it, to kill it or kiss it. I didn't know-

No. that was wrong. I knew exactly what I wanted and I wouldn't even bother beating myself up over it.

I wanted Antonio.

Plain and simple. I had no idea why, I couldn't even start to make up excuses but I knew for a fact that I wanted Antonio here and now.

There must be a god or at least someone who's listening because at that moment, the curly headed Spaniard pounced through the door and made his way to me. I must have been relieved but at that time, I wasn't processing anything. He sat beside me again and only smiled genuinely.

"Lovi, I want to show you my garden. Are you almost done with your bath?" He chimed, voice as sweet and happy as I had always known it.

"I'm done." I said clearly. I wasn't thinking of anything more than my own breathing. I am breathing. That's a good step. He reached over and tenderly took my arms, lifting lightly and trying to prompt me to stand. I did. Antonio had already prepared a towel and held it open for me. He made sure to protect my dignity and pulling down his head and watching his feet which were doing nothing more than staying planted on the tile.

I walked into the towel and let him hug me with it. Again, I enjoyed the sensation of having his arms around me. Why him? Why me? What made us special…why was this happening?

He made sure the towel was tightly tucked over my shoulders before releasing me and leading me out of the bathroom. The tiles were cold under my feat but I really couldn't care anymore, I just watched the muscles in the Spaniard's back move swiftly as he walked. He stopped in a room that I assume was his. It hadn't been decorated but I could still tell. On the bed was a tomato pillowed that must have been hand sewn by a certain (leggy) mother and given to a certain little giddy Spaniard. It made me happy to be in there and imagine why he had all the useless junk he had while Antonio rummaged in the closet. There were pictures over his dresser with two parents and a child in every one of them. The pictures seemed to end when the little boy was about eleven.

"These are your parents?" I noted. He grunted affirmative. They looked like him…or…he looked like them. Whatever, They seemed so happy so I couldn't help but wonder how my life would be different if I had a family like that…if I was Antonio… my train of thought was put on brakes when I heard,

"Got it! Lovinito, come here, I've got clothes!" Called from behind me. I went over to him and was rewarded when he held out beautiful dress clothes. A light tan button up blouse and a dark brown lace to tie under the collar. The pants matched the lace and there was a white over jacket. The boots were perfect lace up leather boots with riding heels cropped to the back. I was stunned.

"Is it actually okay for me to touch that, let alone wear it?" I questioned. It was a great outfit and obviously pretty pricy. The people who wore outfits like these were the kind of people I walked close to so I might be able to slip out a wallet.

"Of course! It used to be mine but you can have it. It doesn't fit me anymore and I know you'll look much better in it than I ever could." Antonio practically forced the clothes into my arms.

HAVE IT!? No way. This wasn't me. I'm not the kind of person who could wear something like this. It was against my blood. It didn't belong on me. Antonio read my mind.

"Try them on!" He insisted.

It scared me how much control he had over my actions. I obeyed and let the towel slip off. He, of course, looked away and I changed. The clothes were stiff but not uncomfortable. It was a completely foreign feeling, I had never felt like royalty which I did in these clothes.

"You can look now." I shyly murmured. His eyes widened as he turned and he smiled at my new apparel.

"Oh wow! You're a little prince Lovi!" He laughed and stood. I retorted by telling him I wasn't little and he agreed just to please me.

"What's your father like?" I changed the topic finally. I didn't like the attention on me.

Without letting his smile fall, Antonio scratched the back of his head and nervously and replied with, "Oh…well I don't quite remember too much but he was really cool."

He must have read the confusion on my face and decided to enlighten me on this secret. "I lost him when I was eleven. He ran into the middle of the street for god-knows-why and got hit by a car. My mom doesn't like to let people outside the family know so she makes up stories."

I froze.

I knew why.

Memories attacked me, shooting back and forth and causing me pain inside the very walls of my skull. I trying to repress them but this was too much. The floor came to meet me very quickly and my world went black, I could just barely hear the whisper of Antonio's voice calling me before I drifted into those awful memories.

_The young Italian pulled the plump red fruit from his pocket, proud of his skills in thievery. He began to bite in as the voice of the shopkeeper ringing behind him. He rolled his eyes and began to take to a run. He just wanted to get to a safe place already so he could enjoy his treat. Be jogged a block and began to slow when he heard a voice call out from behind him._

_"Antonio!"_

_It wasn't his name but it startled him enough to keep going, right across the street. The six year old without street smarts decided that the man must have mistaken him for whoever this Antonio was but he knew if he kept running, he'd see he wasn't and leave him alone. He hadn't noticed anything out of place but he was suddenly shoved from behind very roughly and he flew forward two feet since he was light. He looked back to see the asshole who though it was funny but he couldn't prepare for what he saw. A man laid cripple on the ground and surrounded by a pool of blood. Lovino nearly passed out after seeing the limbs squirming in positions they definitely should not be in. The Italian screamed and ran to him, trying to see if his face showed life. It smiled up at him with a big, goofy smile like he didn't care about his situation._

_"Oh, thank god you're alright…Antonio…"_

_With that, the man released a breath and that was that. He ended. Lovino had no idea what to do. He dropped to his knees and cradled the head in his lap, tears breaking free from his stunned face. He rocked him for a moment before the shopkeeper caught up and met the gruesome scene. Lovino yelped and skittered up before taking off as fast as he could. He kept telling himself, "it wasn't my fault! That stupid idiot! It wasn't my fault!"_

With that, he adopted a terrible name and reputation with the memories to match.

Lovino had to leave.

Now.

As soon as he could.

He really didn't belong here.


	3. A new belonging

Chapter 3.

WARNING: FOUL MOUTH, PROFANITIES AND RELIGIOUS THEMES.

Lovino's POV.

My head started to throb as it trust me back into consciousness. I didn't open my eyes. I couldn't because that boy would be looking at me who happens to share the face of the man who's death I was responsible for.

His father.

I shouldn't be here. This was so wrong. I shouldn't be with this boy. God…so wrong. I should'nt feel this way about a friend, especially not a boy, especially especially especially not _this_ boy. What had I gotten myself into?

I tried to keep my eyes closed but the rough shaking of my shoulders finally forced them into a glare. Antonio was on top of me, shaking me as if I had no bones. He looked so relieved when I scowled at him.

"Oh! You're awake. Good, good. Are you okay? You hit your head…"he whined like a lonely puppy. I sat up and let my scowl fall to just a frown. I wanted to stay. I wanted to be here…how long could I keep it a secret? No. no, I couldn't lie to Antonio. He didn't deserve that, plus he managed to pull information out of me without my consent so it wouldn't stay a secret for long. I had to leave. Now.

"I'm leaving." I informed him with a flat voice. I had to look away from the shocked and hurt expression he was giving me.

"What? Why? What's wrong!? Lovi… stay…" his voice was a desperate whimper that reached into my chest and gripped my still beating heart. No Lovino. Don't stop. Don't look back. You have to leave. You've hurt this boy so much, you need to be away from him.

"Lovi…?" he called again, this time he sounded like he was repressing a sob. Go Lovino! Please! Don't turn back! Go while you can.

I listened to my instinct and walked out of the room and started to look for the washroom so I could change. I didn't belong in these clothes either. What was I thinking? The heels of my boots clicked against the marble, making it easy for Antonio to catch up to me.

"Common Lovi. Why are you angry? What did I say?" he asked with a panic to his voice. I couldn't bring myself to answer. What _could _I say? How about : "Oh sorry Toni but I really must be leaving because I'm the one who killed your father and to make matters worse, I have feelings for you. Pip pip cheerio." man…if only.

"Have you ever visited Italy before now?" I asked with an unsure waver to my voice. He seemed thrilled that I was responding to him in some way.

"Si. We visited for my father's business, thirteen years ago but we didn't really stay for long." He confirmed all of my suspicions. No doubt.

"Show me where the washroom is." I commanded, never slowing my fast pace. I was glad I wasn't looking at him because his voice itself told me how much I was still hurting him.

"Over this way." He muttered and led me into a room that was up and to our left. He hadn't lied. It was indeed the wash room so I retrieved my dripping clothes from the line and began to lift off the ones he had given me. He looked away and ducked his head in shame for whatever he had done to upset me.

"You'll come back to visit soon, right? You haven't even tried the tomatoes. Their so ju-"

"No, Antonio." I interrupted, already half dressed in the freezing clothes.

"But…later then? It doesn't have to be soon-"

"I'm not coming back ever." I informed him, keeping my voice emotionless.

"Well we'll run into each other in town-" he tried to say but I cut off again.

"No we won't. We're not friends, An-…Mr. Carriedo. Thank you for your hospitality but I'm leaving now. I don't need these." I set down the folded clothes and waked out of the room. Oh god it hurt so bad…every word was dripping with regret, every breath dug needles into my lungs. I had never hurt like this before…I wanted it to be over. I soon reached the front door with Antonio still on my heels, almost slipping on the trail of water that followed me. I moved as quickly as possible, I had to be out of there.

I grabbed the door knob and pivoted it when I was embraced again. This time is was tighter and warmed, like I would turn to star dust if he let go. This was the best feeling in the world. It was so safe, so secure but I couldn't let him give it to me anymore. I wriggled my hands against his chest and tried pushing him away to no avail.

"Lovino…you're always going to be my friend." He gently released although I tell it was the last thing he wanted to do. Don't cry. Please Lovino. Just leave! My eyes stung with watery heart a I pulled open the mammoth door and left in silence.

Now, the tears came and they were stonger than my desire to run back. I tried to scrub them away with my sleeve but I was just spreading the wetness. I took to running. When all else fails, running away from your problems must always work.

Antonio's POV.

Nothing hurt this bad. Nothing. I let myself drop down to the floor I stood at and looked at the last puddle Lovino had left. That's all I had left. All I had to show for the little boy that I had fallen in _something _with. It didn't seem as sweet as I had always been told love was. In fact, it was bitter. It wretch my heart like biting into a lemon when you were expecting a candied bulb of juice.

God Lovino…what did you do to me…?

My mother heard the disturbance and came out to me, kneeling by my side and kissing my hair. How did she know what was happening? How had she predicted it? How did she understand?

"Oh Toni… my poor baby…mama knows…" she continued to comfort me.

"How? How do you seem to understand everything that I can make no sense of?" I realized that my voice was cracking as salty droplets ran down my cheeks.

"Mama's done this too." She answered. Really? It wasn't just me? I wasn't crazy?

"What's wrong with me then?" my voice had subsided to a whisper.

"I can't tell you that, nino. That's for you and Lovino to figure out. Just…" she sighed. "just don't give up without figuring that out, alright?" She smiled lightly.

"No…Lovino doesn't like me. He doesn't want to be friends, he doesn't even want to see me. I may be 'really fucking stupid' but I caught that much." I looked back at the floor and watched my tears glitter the stone.

My mother was surprised by choice of words but smiled it off and rubbed my back. " Don't judge him by what he says, alright? I bet he likes you a lot more than you give him credit for." She stood up but I remained huddled on the ground.

"Go take a walk, give yourself some air to think." She offered and patted my head.

"I don't want to." I muttered in a very rare depression.

"You don't know his story." She reminded me.

"He told me all about himself. I can predict his every move and read his every expression." I tucked myself further into the fetal position, hiding my face in my knees.

"That's what my Mama always told me and she was never wrong so now I pass it down to you. In her own words: You never know a person's story. As much as you think you do, there is always another chapter." She smiled to me. "You haven't read much more than the inside cover, nino."

I unraveled my legs and stretched them up until I was my full height again. She was right and so was Lovino. I _was_ really fucking stupid. How could I just let him walk out! We weren't done figuring this out. Not even close. I hugged my mama and left in the direction that felt like it would bring me back to _my_ Lovino.

Lovino's POV.

If I said I had any idea where I was going, I was lying through my teeth. All I wanted was to be farther from that house and ignore the chuckling teenagers who offered me drinks from bottles in bags. I wasn't their toy. I didn't belong to anyone. I was independent.

I kept telling myself that and kept finding myself pulled back to the tall Spaniard I'd known for only a matter of hours. In a matter of hours, everything had changed. In a matter of hours I found myself forever bonded to a stranger. I found myself cursing at and praying to god. Why, dammit? This had never happened before. Damn fuck shit hell bitch fuck'n whore ass shit hole fuck'n fuck! I bravely kicked a rock with all of my force and sent it flying.

If only none of this had happened. If only I had taken refuge in a sewer or behind a wheelbarrow. Anything but behind that man. If I hadn't done that I'd be happily skipping around and toting a pocket of stolen wishes. I'd be dining on pigeon and falling asleep under a tree without out much to worry about. But if I hadn't…I would have never met Antonio….

Antonio was something to me that no one else could be. Dammit! Why him?

I found myself approaching the cathedral I had grown up in which was more like a mausoleum than a place of worship. The entire building was a silent tomb where people only came if they were expecting death. It either smelled like dust or candle wax all the time which acted as a sleep inducing agent and put everyone's mind into a relaxed buzz. Yes, that was as homey as it got. I went in and kept against the back wooden wall to not disturb the peaceful but there didn't seem to be more than one or two people there today. I ducked into the little double roomed confession box and sat on the stool.

As much as I'd like to say I kept it together, I didn't. I bit on my hand to reduce the sound as frustrated tears poured free.

"Child, why is it that you cry?" I heard Father De Luca ask from the other side of the confession box. Tears took the place of the sins I wanted to confess but he sat with a saintly patience as I relaxed an hour later.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned." I muttered the prayer like ritual.

"Lovino, you have grown so much bigger since I last saw you but your heart is still as broken." His voice held no judgments.

"Si…" I choked out with a sob and some broken gasps.

"Child…tell me your sins and they will be righted in the eyes of the lord." He instructed with a soft manor.

"I think I've sinned more than I'm able to recall." My voice was so quiet but he heard every word.

"Start with why you've come to me today." The elderly priest offered.

"I…I hurt someone I love…" did I just say love? The words came out on their own as it my hair was being supported by an airy presence.

"Hmm…well that is certainly a painful situation for both sides."

"Yes…and I can never go back to him. I'll never be able to apologize enough or do enough to deserve an acceptance." The tears broke again but I didn't sob like before. I just let them drop onto my already soaked lap.

"Why would you think that, my child?" he seemed a little curious. I had always been confident and outspoken as a child so this sort of behavior was a means for alarm.

"Father De Luca…I took something very precious to him…something I could never give back or repair or replace."

"You have little faith in him, Lovino. He must be quite a special person for you to say you love him so why do you not trust that he is understanding?"

"Because Father…I…." I had no reason other than my own fear. I didn't want to know what he would think of me. I didn't want to see his face when he looked at me like the filthy monster I am.

"I will give you repentance but it will only heal your relationship with the lord. Your conflict with this man cannot be helped by anyone other than him and yourself."

I nodded and bowed my head.

"Three sets of ten Hail Marys, ten Glory bes and twenty of the Lord's prayer." He instructed before and I thanked him and went to sit at a pew by the alter. I bowed my head and began to recite the assigned prayers. I did them once and figure that I hadn't had enough time to think so I said them again then again till I had said hundreds of each prayer. I was raised from my trance when a familiar Spanish accented voice echoed from the same confession box I had previously sat in. I stopped breathing in hopes I would overhear the conversation (I'd have to confess for that later too)

I only captured words and short phrases until they got to the order of repentance which was clear as a bell. "Go to the second row of pews (my row) and sit beside the man with auburn hair. There, confess your trials of life to the man and lead him in worship with one of the lord's prayers."

Father De Luca…well…he never changed. I considered hiding under the pew or leaving all together but I was held there by a stronger force. Did I have a conscience? Darn it. (no cursing in church).

I kept my head down and murmured prayers but very soon I felt his presence beside me and his soft whispering breath.

"Lovino?...I'm so sorry." If it were any quieter, I would have heard his heartbeat accompanied with the soft rhythm of his breath filling and leaving his lungs.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." I told him. Surprisingly, our voices fit in perfectly with the mellow silence that haunted the soundless cathedral.

"I do. I hurt you." He whispered so softly, I couldn't feel my heart beating anymore.

"No. _I_ hurt _you._" I corrected.

"Lovino, you made me happier than I've ever been." It was his turn to correct me.

"I'm just a stranger. I haven't known you more than a few hours."

"But you're not a stranger Lovi. If you were, neither of us would be feeling like this. We're so much more than that now."

"Don't like about me like you know me. Didn't I tell you we're not friends?"

"You did and you were right. We can't even just be friends. We have something even bigger."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do. You know exactly what I'm talking about and I see that every time I look into your eyes."

"Then what do you suppose is wrong with us?" I was starting to get a little annoyed. There was no way he could possibly understand what I feel. He gently took my hand and place it over his heart before looking to me with eyes I could never describe.

"Amore." He answered, the sounds dripped sweetly from his lips. My fingers felt the thumping inside his ribcage. I yanked my hand off and looked away in defiance.

"Don't say that. You don't know who I am." I didn't even blush.

" I can say that because I don't have to. I can say that because I know that no matter what you say, that beating in my heart won't stop. There is no answer you can give me that could lessen this. We will never be stranger and never be friends."

I wasn't sure if he was joking or if I was imagining this. I decided to test those theories.

"Your father jumped in the street to push me away from an approaching car." I admitted. His silence was enough for me. I swiftly stood up and began to walk away. It was done now. Now I could be sure that this whole thing was over.

That is…until I was yanked back by the hand and a thick Spanish voice came to interrupt my thoughts.

"And thank god he did." Was his only response before he pulled me into a safe embrace.

Stunned? Major understatement. More like frozen between all time and space. Yeah, that was a good comparison. I left my thoughts un processed and pulled my arms up to wrap up against the panted Spaniard who was burying him face in my neck. Yes…now I understood. I belonged with him. More than I had ever belonged with anyone or anything before. This felt right. I set aside all things that made sense and all my rational reasoning and just breathed in the scent of coffee and tomato. This was right.

"I love you, Lovino." He whispered. Even if it was a dream, I could just stay asleep forever. I didn't care anymore. Warm lips softly touched themselves to the crook of my neck before he stood up straight again and flashed me a smile. Okay, this time I did blush like crazy.

"Like a tomato." He commented with a quirky smile. I'll never understand him. Take everything I know then look at the opposite. Antonio. He took me to the alter, never releasing my hand before kneeling. I followed example and kneeled beside him. His gentle voice began to recite the lord's prayer in Spanish and I followed in Italian.

Antonio's POV.

I finished the prayer and stood up. The confused little Italian followed. Aww~ he was so cute! He followed like a little puppy. I don't know why hearing about my father's death didn't bother me. All I could think about was little Lovi almost being run over. _He _would have been the one crushed under a car. I now had a lot more to be thankful to my father for.

I guess it was because I already had thirteen years to cope with his death. It wasn't news anymore, it was just how things were. I loved him and missed him but I knew I always had my memories. I knew I had a father and he was great until the very end.

And now I had Lovi. All of those confusing and scary things melted off the instant he wrapped his arms around me. I knew it would be quite a bit harder to get the actual confession from him but this was more than enough. In a matter of hours, I had run into a fumbling, blushing, hungry little Italian. In just a matter of hours, I had fallen madly in love with him and almost lost him.

"Let's go home." I began to lead him out and into the blaring daylight again.

"Who said I live with you?" he spat back. How cute!

"I did." I responded happily.

"Oh really? Well, news flash, _your highness_. You're not the boss of me." He said with his usual scowl.

"I think I am." I corrected.

" I think you're not."

"Want to fight about it?" I challenged.

"I don't need to win some lame ass fight to know I'm right!"

"Who says you would win?" I chuckled.

"You think I wouldn't!? I'll have you know that I can hold my own and I am a force to be reckoned with! I'll rip off your arm and fuck you with the detached limb!" he threatened.

"Oh, would you be so kind?" I laughed. "I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff, mi tomata."

"What!? No! pervert, I didn't mean it like that!" he tried to defend himself.

I asked him how he _did_ mean it then and I was answered with more threats and mindless banter until we arrived home. He stopped again at the front gate.

"What about your mom? I can't tell her…" his face suddenly looked scared and pained. I cupped his face in both of my hands.

"Everything will be alright. Trust me." I smiled and once again managed to lure the little Italian into my home.

Lovino's POV. 

My nerves wracked my body but I braced myself by gripping onto the strong, tanned hand that held mine.

"Are you really surely sure?" I asked but he only nodded with his the-world-is-bight-and-sunny smile. Mrs. Carriedo greeted us at the door and smiled brightly when she saw us holding hands.

"I see you two worked things out. That was fast~" she chirped. I blushed and ripped my hand out of Antonio's. Damn right it was. Antonio had a way of making me agree with every damn thing. She pulled him aside to do what I assumed she thought was whispering but it was heard perfectly clear by everyone in the house.

"Good taste Toni! That's my boy, always pick up the cuties!" he sent him back with a "Mama's very proud, ya done good." Then left.

We stared at each other with completely red faces awkwardly before we both diverted our attention and mumbled things.

"So…wanna have dinner?" he asked. Oh god yes. Hell yeah, to be more correct. When we were in there earlier, I had noticed the assortment of spices and meats and my mouth had watered ever since when I thought about cooking with those.

"Can I cook?" I blurted, hoping my excitement wasn't too obvious but I could tell from his laughs, it was very obvious.

"I didn't know my tomata liked to cook! Of course you can." He said and ruffled my hair. I fussily fixed my mop and glared at him.

"Don't call me a tomato!" I growled and made my way to the kitchen, leaving him behind. See if I care if you eat or not. I don't. He followed and sat at the island table as I gathered ingredients.

I could feel his eyes against my back. "What do you usually eat."

I figured I shouldn't be afraid of being honest with him anymore. "Anything." It was the truth. "I'm smaller than other guys so I get last picking in the trash to avoid a fight. I never really get anything there. Other than that, Leo has often given me scraps and I can eat plants. Bids and rats are meat but you should only eat those if you really need to because they're most likely carrying disease."

He nodded and made a little face of disgust. "Then what do you buy with your money?"

"Sometimes food but the majority of it goes to the church. I don't like being in debt." I explained.

"But it's February and you weren't even wearing a coat! Don't you think that's a little more important!?"

I shrugged and put my pot of water on the stove. "Thick skin I guess."

I could practically feel the pouty face he was making. "You need to take better care of yourself."

"Yes _mother_." I snickered.

"I'm serious Lovi! If you got sick you wouldn't be able to afford to stay in the hospital then you would freeze up in the gutter!" He shivered at his mental picture. Too imaginative for his own good.

"I'm fine. If it hasn't happen by now, it never will." I grumbled as I rummaged through pantries and pulled out more food.

"You're staying…aren't you?" A lit bit of worry flickered over his voice at the question.

"I am." I said with a positive answer that earned me some giggles and smiles from the idiot Spaniard.

"What're you making?" he tried to peek at my work station.

"Zitti with chicken and tomato. If you don't like it, you can eat my food." I answered sternly.

"I would enjoy that." He smirked. I turned and through the lime at him with full projectile force.

"Don't be such a weirdo!" He only laughed. Stupid idiot.

"I'm not a weirdo. What if I just like your feet?" He stood up and returned my lime.

"That's weird." I snatched the fruit from him and began to again chop it.

"But everything about you is so cute~" he rested his head on my shoulder and searing heat shot up to my face.

"You're blushing!" he cooed and nuzzled him nose into the divit.

"Common! That's weirder! Get off me and leave me alone! Go away!" I shrugged him off. "We've just met! Have some decency! Geez!"

"Oh, but I've met you before." He more sand than said.

"Hm?" I curiously looked at him over my shoulder but was taken into his arms startlingly fast and swept into a dancing posision.

"I've met you in my dreams, mi amore." He whispered seductively and began waltzing around the kitchen with mi in tow. I struggled to get my feet under me and yelled at him to let me go but I was overrided by his obnoxiously loud humming. I gave in and stumbled around with him. I just wanted to go back to cooking but…that was a lie. I was really liking our goofy dancing around. He was so stupid. Why did it have to be him? He let me go and spun me back to the exact position I was in before…idiot…

I finished cooking and put up with (indulged in) his stupid flirts. He set the table with the fine china which he insisted they used regularly.

"Oh wow Lovi! You're a really good cook!" he exclaimed and sat in the chair opposite me.

"I worked in an Italian restaurant for a while. They only wanted me for my accent." I joked and started eating. Antonio took the hint and dug in as well.

"I really doubt that. This is amazing!" He started eating like he hadn't eaten in a year.

I blushed and controlled myself with the eating this time. Not to stoke my own pride but…it was pretty damn amazing. Antonio kept talking and managed to shove food down at the same time. We finished everything I made and Antonio was left begging me to make a desert.

"I really want to eat your food, everyday!" he chimed from the sink where he was doing the dishes. He was too damn happy all the time.

"Go fuck yourself, I'm not your Cinderella." I answered bitterly and patted out my overly flowery dough into a flat sheet.

"Of course not! You're more like my…" he thought. Really? You start like that then don't finish?! I looked at him apprehensively, waiting for the reply I'd have to beat him over.

"Uh…" He obviously realized I was ready to kill and tried to find the answer that would spare his life. "Like…like my little blessing?"

Okay fine. He can get away just this once. I found my face moving on its own will and curling up my lips. No! hell no! I'm not going to smile at this! It was cheezy shit! I turned and examined the wall opposite to Antonio like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He must have caught it because he leaned in and kissed the exposed cheek.

I smacked him away. "Don't do that." I hissed.

"Aww…why not?" He pouted and touched his lips.

"Cause we're still boys! And I'm still a Christian." I explained with an edge to my voice.

"If you met God right now, would he tell you not to look at me with those cutesy little eyes?" he smiled.

"Dammit, how the hell should I know?!" Damn it Antonio, don't play this game on me.

"Would he want me to never hold you again?" His smile grew.

Damn Antonio…he knew my weaknesses and he had already sensed my cuddling problem.

"No…" I muttered, wanting to punch him in his stupid face.

He opened his mouth to reply something equally dumb but was interrupted by the tall brunette woman standing in the doorway. "Sweety." She called. Antonio's head shot around and smiled widely.

"Mama!" he called happily. She walked in and stood beside us.

"Honey, you should probably send Lovino home after this. Your cousins are coming in the morning."

His face instantly fell. I wasn't sure if it was because he didn't like his cousins or he didn't want me to leave. Probably both judging by his response.

"So suddenly!? Why? Can't they just stay home every once in a while?" He gave me and his mother a sad puppy face. I ignored it like the big boy I was she indulged him with pitty.

"I know…they'll probably only be here a week. Then you and Lovino can hang out again." She patted his back. "Lovino, I'll drive you home. It's getting dark."

"No thank you, I'll walk." I insisted, not very proud of the truth.

"No sweety, it's too dangerous at night. Won't your parents worry?" She question. I saw Antonio try to think of something to say that would help me.

"No, I told my little brother I'd be home late so I'm sure they've already gone to bed." I wasn't ecstatic about lying but it was so much easier for everyone this way. How was I to know that I _don't_ have a little brother and they're _not _asleep right now? Maybe that was just the case.

"He can spend the night right?" Antonio whined. He never questioned his mother's decisions. She figured something was wrong. I tried not to make eye contact as she looked between me and Toni with her eagle glare.

"You boys better tell me what's really going on here." She popped her hip out and put a hand on it with a serious face. Antonio bit his bottom lip and whimpered to me. It must really be hurting him to disobey her so I sighed and nodded permission to him.

"Lovi doesn't have a home or parents and I…I kinda told the police officer that he was going to live with me." He blurted finally. Mrs. Carriedo kept smiling but in a way that terrified be and Antonio both.

"Mama?" he whispered, knowing he was in deep shit. Mrs. Carriedo could be a saint when she wanted to but she was equally good at being the devil. She reached over and pinched Antonio's ear with her sharp, manicured nails. He squeaked and submissively looked up at her like a child.

"Toni…I think we really ought to talk in my office. Alright? Alright. Good." She said in an unusually high and happy voice then proceeded to drag him away while I was left stunned in the kitchen.

Antonio's POV.

I was released onto a leather chair in front of her desk while she crossed her arms and paced the room. She was so scary when she's mad! Her glares daggered into me with no effort.

"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo! You have always been such an obedient child! This is just beyond me! I didn't think that when I told you about not bringing animals home I'd also have to mention that bringing other humans home is big a no-no. What on Earth compelled you to do such a thing without even mentioning it to me!" it was rhetorical question. It wasn't an it, it was a who.

Lovino. She saw how her son loved him madly. She sighed and pushed her temples.

"Toni…Aunty Esta will have a cow if she sees her nephew munching on the face of a little boy from the streets. We'll be cut from the family business! Even if you two aren't being lovebirds, we all know we don't call her coo-coo Esta foe no reason! I'm sure she has the bible tattooed on her back! Two boys, even making eye contact is a HUGE NO-NO."

"But mama!" I cried. I didn't want to not see Lovino and I also didn't want him living back on the streets. I would go crazy! I had to see my new-found love every hour of everyday! I couldn't imagine living with out his curses for even a day

"Don't "But mama" me! What you did was bad!" she let her breath relax for a minute. "But you couldn't help it. Alright, alright." She waved her hands in front of her face like it would clear away the stressed thoughts. "Mama has an idea…but I don't know how well we'll pull it off."

I perked up instantly like she had shot me full of caffine. "I can do it, mama! Really!"

"Well…I know I won't be able to keep you two apart. Since I gave birth to a crazy, obsessive little freak…"

I giggled at that, excited to know I could keep the little Italian.

"Alright, you'll need to convince Lovi to go along but it might work."

Lovino's POV.

I had already slipped the pastries in the oven and relaxed against the counter when the Spaniard returned to my side. Looking nervous.

"What?" I asked, waiting for the bad news to spill.

"Good news! You can stay with me, yay!" he nervously smiled, trying to hide the fact there was a catch.

"Okay, then why are you being all twitchy?" I accused. He scratched his head.

"Uhh…well…you can stay….but…um…"

"Spit it out, stupid freak!" I encouraged, giving him a good glare.

"While Aunty Esta and her family are here…you're going to need to pretend to be the the help…"

[yay! Don't you all love cliff hangers? Not a very good one but one none the less, a cliff hanger. If you've made it this far, I'm very thankful. Stick in, I'll try to finish another chapter by tomorrow. Thank you!]


	4. The pigs come to town

Chapter 4. The pigs come to town.

WARNING: FOUL MOUTH AND PROFANITIES.

Antonio's POV.

"Antonio…"He said softly.

Oh wow! He was taking this so well! I was worried that-

"Go down to the bottom of hell, punch yourself in the head until you're able to think properly then come back up and tell me what you were _actually_ trying to say. Alright?"

I just noticed that I couldn't see his pretty hazel eyes. They were covered by a shadow of death and fury and I realized that I didn't _want_ to see his pretty hazel eyes.

"Really, when you think about it-" I started to explain.

"I don't NEED to think about it! I may not have money but I'm no begging peasant!" His voice was poison to my ears, slowly stinging my insides as it was digested.

"Lovi, try to understand. I-" I was again kept from finishing.

"Fuck you! Uh-uh. Not going to happen. I have pride! I'm not serving ANYBODY!" He said it like an indisputable fact.

"It's the only way! I just want you to say here! Lovi, I'm desperate!" I stuttered. Then the most amazing thing happened. He stayed quiet and considered it! I wanted to squish him in a hug! He was trying so hard! It went against everything that was Lovino but he was actually considering it just for me! He must really like me! I watched him closely for what seemed like forever until I got a stifled and quiet answer.

"Give me details. Now." He commanded and I was more than happy to comply to the fiery little boy.

"They'll be here only the weekend, thank God. They have a funeral to attend so the visit is short. (they were probably mourning the death of their sense of humor and ability to be happy) Anyways, you'll play the part of my personal (don't say servant, Toni!) attendant. You only have to act in front of the family and I'll do everything I can to make you comfortable. Alright? Also…Aunty Esta is what a lot of people would consider a bitch so you'll have to be extra careful to not talk back…okay?" I was so hoping he would agree.

"Dammit…" he wiped at his forehead as he thought. I wrapped an arm around his waist and snuggled him close just a little bit in a wordless apology. That must have turned something in him because he snuggled me back and seemed to be enjoying it. My Lovi is a cuddler! How cute! I really just wanted to lay with him on the couch and cuddle him all night. Stop that, Toni! I reminded myself to take it one step at a time.

"I'll do it…" he whispered. It was so quiet and unexpected I thought I might have made it up but, no! He really said it! And he _really_ cuddled me! He was so cute! So cute!

"But I'm going to think of a way for you to repay me." He added. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think dirty thoughts but I've had that problem for a while. My mind always left a small part of itself in the gutter. Knowing Lovi for as long as I have, it was probably something like 'drive me to the beach' or 'take me to a nice place for desert'.

"Of course." I replied and softly kissed the top of his head. He broke away from my hold before I could cuddle him further and made his way to the oven. This made me frown a bit. I wanted to hold him again! No fair!

"Let them burn down the kitchen, it'll be romantic." I offered which was returned with a subtle 'Fuck you' and glare. He retrieved the biscuits from the stove and paced them on the cooling rack. I approached from behind and hooked an arm around his waist. He didn't fight very hard which told me he was somewhat okay with it so I nuzzled his little head and traced my fingers over his arm. He was so sweet, and to think, when I woke up this morning, I had none of this. It was just wasted time.

"Show me to my room while the food cools." He instructed. I loved that about him. Always commanded and never asked unless it was really important. The things he asked for _must_ be given to him.

"Okay." I took his little frail hand and brought him up the stairs to the room across from mine. If he stayed in my room, I could keep an eye on him better but he wasn't going to agree to that for quite a while so this would have to do. I opened the door for him and held it like a gentleman. I am so cool!

The walls of the room were a very light peach. The window faced the entrance and driveway side of the house. A single-person bed was perched in the corner of the room and sheathed under beautiful white sheets. A mahogany wardrobe and nightstand completed the room. Rather dull but elegant.

"Is this okay?" I asked when I noticed him examining the room in awe. Maybe he didn't like it.

"This room is just for one person?" he asked. That confused me. Of course. One bed, one dresser. Did lower class families live in less space per body? That was ridiculous. This was the minimum, right? Enough room to walk a little, get dressed and sleep. Then again, Lovino usually slept in a box. This must be a whole new world to him. I smiled comfortingly.

"Yes. This room is for just you. Unless you like living with someone else. In that case…my room is bigger." I hinted. He was either oblivious or making an effort to ignore my advances.

"No, this is quite enough." He ran his hand along the imported sheets, feeling the tightly woven threads under his soft fingers. Next thing I knew, he threw himself onto it and buried his head in the feather pillows. He let out a pleasured sigh, clearly enjoying himself. If he was so fond of bedding, perhaps this was my chance again!

"My pillows are stuffed with goose feathers and hand sewn in India. You should really see them, the patterns are just-"

"Give it up Toni. I'm not sleeping with you." A muffled, pillow-buried face informed me.

I shut up and let him enjoy his new room. Maybe someday he'll want to sleep in my bed.

We finished the day by going back down stairs and eating the desert (which was the best thing I've ever eaten. Thank god for Lovino). He made me do the dishes but stayed with me and discussed trivial matters like ice cream and car rides and using the telephone. Things that were new and exciting for him. I gave him the rest of the clothes that would fit him and helped him hang them up before finally settling to bed and dreaming of my new, fussy, spit-fire love.

Sweet dreams did not last very long because I was awoken by the most unpleasant sound I know: Aunty Esta's boney dinosaur claws wrapping on the door viciously. I groaned and let myself roll off the side of the bed with a thump. I considered falling back asleep but the incessant knocking protested. I pulled myself off the ground, fighting the persuasive strength of gravity. The ground looked so much more comfortable than what was impatiently beating the door down stairs. I popped into Lovi's room and reminded him to put on a suit and be down stairs in ten minutes. He was less than happy with me. At least my day was instantly brightened by seeing his scowling face.

I hobbled down the marble staircase and relieved the door of it's duty by opening it. There she was. Ugh. Her boney little figure stood completely erect like there was a metal pole where her spine should be. I much preferred Lovi's lackadaisical slouch. Her nose was sharp enough to be considered a lethal weapon and her eyes were covered enough in bright make up to make anyone wonder if she even had eyes. Her make up in general was potent. Colorful splotches here and there.

I wiped over my eye tiredly and forced a smile on. "Hola, Aunty." I greeted. She only scowled. (and her scowl was most definitely NOT cute like Lovi's. it was the purest sign of hatred.)

"Antonio, tell me. How far is your room from this very door?" Her voice was cold and just waiting to contradict anybody.

"It is up the stairs and three doors to the right, Aunty." I tried to be respectful. God it was hard.

"Then I can assume you will be more than happy to enlighten me on why, exactly, it takes you so long to reach the door. Are you in good health, dear nephew?"

I'm not I violent person but she…my hands plus her throat. Put it together.

"Si, si. Lo siento. I was merely so excited for your arrival that I took a few moment to compose myself. Forgive me." We both knew that was a dead lie.

"Take my coat." She ordered. (Not in the cute way like Lovino. Why couldn't she just be a little more like Lovino?) I did as told and relieved her of her scratchy, stiff, fuchsia coat that reeked of mothballs. I practically _threw_ it into the coat closet.

She scuttled in, followed by four more members of the equally repulsive family. The first was her husband, Arnaldo. Filthy man. He was fond of the dice game and spent most of his time bragging about his pathetic winnings. His skin was as oily as his hair and his attitude. He always chewed with his mouth opened and blabbed about things nobody had the slightest interest in.

Next was Ludo. The boy was two years older than me and had nothing better to do than rub it in. The pretty boy was obsessed with combing back his hair every second and was offended by anything. Give him a cause and he was the first to defend it. Proud, pushy and _always_ right. Thank you, human of the year.

Next was their only daughter, Carlotta. Spoiled as spoiled is. She was beloved by her mother for being the only girl. She loved to find things I had and tell me how she had the same thing but better. She always asked for me to play with her when in actuality she wanted to boast about all the boys who wanted to date her. She flipped her tubes of curled brown locks in my face every time she passed, positive that there was no way I could resist her. How wrong she was.

Lastly, Matteo. He was the youngest and blamed for nothing. His joy in life was toting his fat ass around and getting people in trouble. Namely me. He set me up for so many traps and I stupidly fell into every single one of them. He was always found wearing a too-small sailor suit and sucking on a giant lollipop. He really like to push the whole baby thing.

I could just really use a glance at Lovino's face right now. Each family member loaded me with a jacket and bag. The help were already expecting them and took the bags from me, carrying them off to their individual rooms though I prefer they be burned.

"Hey there sport. Still not on your own two feet yet I see." Ludo was not hasty to remind me. I remembered my manners. Don't make fun of his hair Antonio, don't!

"No, but don't worry about me now. I wouldn't want the stress to make all that lovely hair fall out." I smiled politely. Nailed it.

"Antonio, fetch that sister of mine. The klutz must still me asleep." Auntie Esta ordered. Control yourself Antonio, deep breaths. Damn, this was going to be hard for Lovino.

"Yes, I'll do that right now. I apologize for her absence." I answered then flew up the stairs. I felt better with every inch I put between me and those people. I reached my mother's room and knocked gently. "Mama." I called quietly. Auntie disapproved of that name. She preferred Dear Mother. My mother answered and looked just as distraught as me. I offered her a pitty smile that she returned.

"They want you down stairs." I told her. She nodded and kissed my forehead.

"Of course they do. Now you go get Lovino. The little sloth wouldn't let me wake him up." She patted my head and went down to the relatives. I went to Lovino's room and let myself in. He had gotten dressed when I told him to but then went back to sleep in the middle of the floor. I smiled. This was what made it worth it. My lovino.

I bent down and gently shook the little one's shoulder. "Common now, wake up. Show time." I said softly to him. He growled at me but still opened his eyes and scowled. What a beautiful little scowl, I could look at it all day. Unfortunately, today was not the day. I helped the tired boy up and straightened his suit, he looked so hansome.

"Are you ready?" I asked and pushed his bangs off his face.

He granted me an "mm-hmm" and rubbed the tired from his eyes. I wanted to hug him so badly. I took him down to the main floor and he followed at my heels. The moment Carlotta noticed a new male presence in the household, she made herself known by racing over and flipping her hair in his face. He seemed pretty disgusted but remembered to keep his mouth closed.

"Hola, me llamo Carlotta. ?Y tu?" she flirted with MY boy. I could rip her head off right here if I wanted to…but I didn't. Happy place Toni…remember your happy place.

"Ah…ciao, bella. Me llamo Lovino." He copied her Spanish. She giggled like an incessant pig.

"Oh! Italiano? How cute!" she practically draped herself over him.

"Th-Thank you." He muttered but didn't blush like he did with me.

"Lovino, do you like my new perfume?" She hugged closer to him, suffocating him in the putrid stench. She definitely over dosed. Maybe she used the whole bottle. Probably.

Lovino was obviously getting quite annoyed with the girl now. "Just lovely, miss. If you wouldn't mind, Antonio and I must greet the other guests. It has been nice meeting you." He walked forward and I followed. Wow! He was doing so good. This was really unexpected from him.

He was caught by the arm by that little munchkin monster named Matteo. I almost wacked the sausage fingers off him. Happy place Toni…Happy place.

"You're new. Who are you?" He snorted. I was pretty sure Lovino was going to hit him but instead he pulled his lips into a smile for the little boy. A very unnatural smile at that.

"I was hired last week to be a personal care taker for master Antonio. My name is Lovino."

Did he just call me master Antonio!? How adorable!

"That's a stupid name. What about your last name, is it any better?" he asked. We both wanted to kill him at that point. I don't know how we restrained ourselves.

"No, I'm afraid I've forgotten it." Lovino explained. The boy snickered.

"You must be really stupid if you can forget your own name! Not much more can be expected from a slave I guess. I'll just call you Bubba." He announced. No way. He wasn't getting away with _that_. I grabbed his meaty little arm.

"He is MY personal assistant and you will treat him how I say he is to be treated. He is NOT stupid. He is NOT a slave and he is NOT named Bubba. You will call him Lovino or you will not speak of him at all." I had to stop myself from going any further or I might physically hurt him.

"Come to the kitchen with me, Lovino." I ordered and walked off. He followed. I pushed open the door to the kitchen and stomped in, trying so hard to conceal my anger.

"I think we should take a breather." I announced in a whisper, feeling like I might explode. Lovino started to fix me a drink. He was so sweet.

"I think _you're_ the one who needs the breather. I'm used to this but you seem ready to tear the heads off those people." Lovino commented and handed me the cup. I thankfully drank from it. I wanted to hold him and clear my mind but there was still the fear of being caught. I settled with just smiling gratefully. We decided to face the crowds again after about ten minutes.

Aunty Esta watched us apprehensively. "Boy. Come here." She said, gesturing to Lovino who looked to me first then followed her order.

"How old are you?" She sneered and studied him with her vicious eyes. God, how much I wanted to strangle her for just looking at him in that way. Like he was filth.

"Nineteen, mam. My name is Lovino and I am the personal assistant of your nephew." He informed her.

"I didn't ask about the other things. Hold your tongue." She hissed.

He simply nodded. I was going to kill her. How dare she.

"Now, tell me what you and my nephew were doing in the kitchen for so much time." She commanded, like she was a god to him or something.

"He seemed overwhelmed so I made him a cup of tea." He responded. Poor Lovi.

"For so long? Why did he not drink it out here? With his _family_?" She glared at him.

"Master appeared overwhelmed. I thought it might be less stressful for him to drink in the kitchen."

"How long have you been working under a family, Lovino?" She used his name like a curse word.

"Only this past week."

"Then I'm sure by now even an idiot as yourself would know that only **the help** eat in the kitchen."

I was ready to kill her. Seriously. Kill her. The happy place wasn't working.

"I'm sorry, that's not a mistake I'll be making again." He whispered. It hurt so bad to see him submissive to her. To that bitch. It was my fault he had to do this, he didn't deserve this.

"Lovino, please go tidy my room." He nodded and left. That was our secret code for "why don't you go hang out in my room and take a break from this hell." We discussed it last night.

I turned to the woman devil and smiled. "If you don't mind, I need some fresh air. I'll be on the porch if anybody desires my presence." With that I walked out to the porch and sat somewhere in which I could comfortably watch my garden.

It wasn't until half an hour later that I felt ready to go back inside. After running my fingers through the tangles of my hair for quite some time, I managed smooth it down.

Breakfast had been prepared and it was being laid out on the feasting-sized dinner table. I found my mother trapped in a wild heard of family members, being questioned and accused with precision. I made my way over to relieve her of some of the pressure but I took all of it because as soon as they saw me, they rehuddled and I was the victim.

"So sport. (call me that one more time and I swear…)Do you plan on getting married? You're not getting much younger." Ludo did the honor of reminding me.

Before I could answer, Uncle Arnaldo also thought his opinion was worth voicicng. "Not scared of gett'n tied down, are ya? Can't be a little player forever." He said. I wasn't afraid and I wasn't a player!

"No, no. Just looking for the right gal." I answered. I wanted to say, "Nope, already found her. By the way, she's a pissy little Italian boy." But alas, I couldn't.

"I have plenty of friends with cute little daughters of high-end corporations. I see I should schedule some dates for you?" Aunty offered.

"No, that's not necessary. Thank you for your consideration though." I said.

"I know, it's so hard finding the right one. Of all the boys who like me, only a very small number are suitable partners." Carlotta sighed, as if the weight of the world had pressed against her shoulders.

"Were is Lovino?" she asked before I could answer to her previous statement. "I wish to speak with him instead. Antonio, call him down." She ordered. I knew everyone would be suspicious if I told them to shut up so the poor boy could take a nap so instead I called for him. At least I never had to worry about the two of them hooking up, that was for sure.

Lovino's POV.

I rolled over on his bed, trying to block out the sounds of "master" calling for me. Dammit! Why can't I just sleep off the rest of the day? I lazily lifted myself from the nest of comfitures I made and dragged myself to the door. Before I opened it, I made myself presentable by straightening my clothes and hair. Okay, time to face the beasts.

Antonio seemed a little surprised to actually see me coming down the stairs. Carlotta, on the other hand was seductively waving to me and swishing her hips a bit so her dress glided around her. Dammit, Antonio probably wanted me to spend time with her. I groaned inaudibly as I reached the bottom and tended to Antonio's side.

"Lovino. Come to the sitting room with me. I believe you to be a lovely chat partner." She smiled and kept blinking her big lashes like she was trying to keep flies away. I did _not_ understand why they all had to talk like they were royalty or whatever. It got annoying.

"Of course miss." I answered and held out my arm to escort her. I had seen people in town do it all the time. Damn it was hard being nice. I don't know how Antonio did it all the time. Still, I had a promise to keep. I led her to the living room and took a seat on a small wooden chair. She sat in the two-person couch instead and patted the spot next to her. I hope the giant gulp that ran down my throat wasn't too evident.

I moved and sat beside her only to have her scoot so we were hip-to-hip. Her gross perfume was stronger than ever. What did I do to deserve this?

"So Lovino. Do you like poetry?" she asked. The truth, I knew _how_ to read but didn't have any books so, no.

"No, I don't believe I've run into any exceptionally talented writers of poetry. None have met my fancy." I answered. Yeah, that was good. I'm acing this!

"Well today is your lucky day! I wrote one just the other day and it is absolutely splendid. Should I recite it for you?" she asked and before I could answer, Shakespeare spoke her great literature.

" _Oh FLOWER…How has thee enchanted me with sweet remembrances of yesterday and beautiful dreams of tomorrow? How has thee summoned me to your mighty powers of love? Whether it is not by the power of the subtle rain or by the hand of a graceful wind. I am bound to thee, flower. I am bound like the earth to the sea or a lover to a lover. Oh flower, I am bound to thee." _she finally finished and instantly wanted to know my thoughts on it.

It was shit. My butt has made poems that sound better than that. My dilemma with saying that though was that because I wished to keep my head. Jesus, woman! It was 1935, speak like it!

"I thought it was just lovely, you have quite a talent, miss." I responded with what I knew she wanted to hear. Every time I spoke she seemed more and more fascinated with me. Dear God…

"Perhaps you'd like me to recite another?" she asked, more than willing to do so.

"Yes please." I smiled. If she kept up with this, she could entertain herself and I could doze off. I listened to another four poems about flowers without an actual point. She recited two poems about river boats and six about just love. I complimented her on each then slept in between. This wasn't so bad.

"You flatter me but I'm sorry to imform you I haven't written any others." She said like it was a tragedy.

"Oh pity." I faked an upset tone.

"Lovino. Truthfully. Tell me how much you like me." She requested. My answer any other day would be 'Not at all. Now, be a dear and remove yourself from my presence.' Not today Lovino, happy place.

"You fascinate me." I answered. At least it wasn't a lie per-say. I did have to admit I was fascinated by how she managed to talk for long amounts of time without breathing or how one could be so shallow as to not notice when someone doesn't give the slightest fuck as to what they're saying.

"Really!? Because I am as well fascinated by you." She blushed. Oh shit. I just realized that "fascinated" probably means something different in rich person language. Did I just confess or something?!

"Yes. You are interesting to _chat_ with. As a _companion_." I clarified. She didn't seem to care though. She scooted even closer till she was practically on my lap.

"My house is so big." She commented. I wasn't sure what she was getting at but I assumed that she would be happy to answer for me.

"I've been searching for a new personal assistant. My maid has gotten quite old and now she can't even remember which ribbons match which dresses!" she whined. Oh…so that was it…Jesus Christ.

"Is that right?" I asked with a faked interest. The answer was 'no'. Always 'no'.

"It is!" she pouted and batted her eyes at me. What was this girl's problem!? "You wouldn't mix up my bows, would you?" she asked.

"Unfortunately princess, I have no sense of color and style. I can't tell red from blue." I explained. I thought calling her 'princess' might turn her off but It did the opposite. She draped her arms across me and leaned in close to my ear.

"I could certainly tech you." She offered. I remained stiff. I couldn't push her away, that'd be rude, she'd throw a fit.

'Dammit dammit dammit dammit! Toni! Help me!' I pleaded in my head. God answered my prayers as the tall Spaniard entered the room, trying not to burst out laughing at my position. Damn him.

"Breakfast has been prepared and is ready to eat." He informed us. Thank the lord. I hoped I didn't sigh too loud. I helped Carlotta off me and followed Antonio out to the dining room. He dismissed me to the kitchen and finally I was free. I slumped over the counter as the other maids and butlers watched my exhaust. They were already in on this whole, pretend to be help deal. They offered me some of their breakfast which I was more than happy to eat.

Antonio POV.

I sat at the table with my family and remained silent as we were served. Poor Lovi. I owed him a lot for this. Carlotta was the first to speak up and interrupt the peaceful silence.

"Mother dearest, have you met the new house boy, Lovino?" she asked and instantly had my attention.

"Yes dear. What about him?" she asked the spoiled little brat.

"I want him as my new personal attendant." She admitted.

Uh-uh. Nope. Not going to happen. My mother shared my expression.

"Oh? So you've taken a fancy to him?" she smiled her creepy witch smile.

"Yes mother, very much. He said I fascinate him and he enjoys my poetry!" she explained.

Lovi probably had no idea what he was saying nor did he mean it at all.

"Alright my darling." She turned to me. "How much for the boy?" She asked.

"He isn't for sale." I informed her, not even bothering to throw in a friendly apology.

"Come now. There is a price for everything." She argued.

Lovino wasn't a 'thing'! Damn it, my temper started to max. Oh no. happy place, happy place!

"No. Lovino will not be sold to you or anyone else. Could someone pass the ham?" I tried to change the subject but nobody sent me the ham. I wasn't getting away from this, was I?

"And why is that? Is he indentured?" she asked, though we all knew he wasn't.

"No." I slid a bit of anger into my stern voice.

"Then he must be hired and it isn't your choice at all. Call him out here. I'll make my offer and he can decidethe matter of future employment." She ordered.

It wasn't that I didn't trust Lovi, it was just that…she'd be willing to pay a persuasive sum.

"Lovino? Could you come in here for a moment?" I called. Honestly, I was a bit nervous.

Lovino's POV.

When I heard Antonio call, I dropped my pear on the counter and went out to the dining room. Too bad, I was really enjoying that pear. All the eyes in the room focused on me and I was left wondering what it was they had been discussing. Probably me.

The old woman spoke. "We are considering changing your employment. Would you be interested?" She asked. Ugh, crazy people.

"No. I am perfectly content with my current placement." I informed her. I was pretty good at sounding like a stuck up prince.

"Are you a wealthy man, Lovino?" she asked. I assumed she meant it as a joke.

"No mam." I answered flatly.

"Then maybe you'd consider my offer if it were accompanied by sixteen thousand Euro?" she said (around 20,000 USD).

My heart might have stopped beating. That was A LOT of money…thankfully, when I searched the room to make sure I was still awake I caught Antonio's pleading eyes. I couldn't say I didn't really consider it, I'm selfish. I could put up with stupid Carlotta for that. If fact, I could do just about anything for that! Except…give up being held be Antonio forever. I checked over Antonio's sad eyes again to make sure I was sure. Yup. I can't resist those sad puppy eyes.

"I must decline." I answered. It pretty bad to let go of that money…money was something precious and they were probably going to buy a monkey or something with it. Damn it, I could have paid off my debt.

"Twenty thousand Euros." She retorted as if she didn't even need time to think about it. (26,000 USD)

Jesus! How much money did these people have!? "No." I answered again, the words were so bitter in my mouth. Far worse than the lemon. It was becoming so difficult. It went against all the morals I had learned in my life. Money **was** life. It felt like a punch to the gut when the words left my mouth.

"Twenty five thousand, and I'm losing my patience."(36,000 USD) She added, smiling to the daughter she loved to spoil.

Dammit! I could save the whole church with that! I could feed all the bums in town! I could make the difference I had spent my whole life begging for. I could be that hero to so many other people…did I want to give this up? After they all helped me as a child…Leo could have a bakery for twice the bread, the church could have twice the rooms for the poor and needy. I could build a home for children with out one….I couldn't be selfish enough to give _that_ up, could I? I found my mouth moving on it's own.

"I need to think about it." I whispered and went to the kitchen. I could only imagine how hurt Antonio was. He would be okay on his own, right? And they were family so we would see each other at reunions. It's not like they would beat me and I _have_ always wanted to travel. Maybe this was a change for the best.

My thoughts were disturbed when a maid carrying dirty dishes came in. Her name was Ava Heshka, I believe she was Czech and she didn't seem to talk to anyone. I only knew her because she was 's personal assistant and we had been introduced quickly while passing each other. She walked up to me, pulled a dirty dish off the top of her load and put it in front of me before bringing the rest to the sink. I was pretty damn close to cursing at her. Was it a joke? Like, 'eat trash?' or something. I glanced at the plate and noticed letters shakily formed with sauce that spelled "Don't go"

By god, he was a total idiot. I pushed my palm against my face and sigh. Stupid bastard. It wasn't that easy.

"He loves you." She girl whispered from behind me, her accent almost too think to understand. "He has many friends but none like you. You are very special to him. He is never as happy as he is with you." With that, she turned back to her dishes like she had no part of what just went on. I sighed and looked down at the plate again. That supid idiot…he does something to me. Something that takes away all of my ability to think with reason. After a few minutes of deep contemplation, I returned to the dining table and stood with a noble poise.

"I have decided to again decline the offer." I announced and glanced at Antonio who was happier than ever.

"And why is that?" The witch growled at me.

"I am in life debt to Antonio." I stated. Nothing like a good lie to clear the air. "While I am flattered by your offer, I decline." I restated. Caroletta swooned over my heroism. What is wrong with her!? Why couldn't she just be upset I didn't pick her and forget me? That creep.

Antonio decided to try his hand at helping the situation. "Si. I found him after a bad fight with a few serious wounds so I carried him to the hospital. He's very set on making it up to me. He promised to work as my loyal assistant for the rest of his life." Antonio explained happily. He was so stupid but I nodded in agreement.

"You're like a prince!" Carlotta sang. She really had taken to me I guess. I thanked her politely for the remark and returned to the kitchen. Antonio was going to owe me big time. Breakfast was over in and hour and I followed Antonio around afterwards like a pet. We stopped here and there to listen to annoying family members till be were tired out of our minds by lunch.

"Hello." The evil little tubby boy greeted me.

"Hello Matteo." I greeted back from my relaxed position on the couch with Antonio.

"I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you earlier." He said but I was sure as hell that wasn't the case.

"It's alright." I dismissed, hoping he would just leave. I really wasn't in the mood to put up with these people anymore. He didn't budge and his evil snicker grew wider.

"Let me hug you, clear the air." He said. I would have protested but honestly, I was worn out. I spent most of my days napping and this was too much so I just lazily leaned forward and let him wrap his arms around me. I knew there must be some ulterior motive but I didn't care to find it right now. There was no knife I my back so I was okay. He released me after a moment and I flopped back down onto the couch. I cannot explain how badly I wanted to just cuddle up to Antonio and fall asleep. I could sleep through the whole weekend.

The family was called to lunch fairly soon. They were eating stuffed tomato and beef stew. I, on the other hand, enjoyed a breakfast ham sandwich. Some of the maids started talking with me in Italian, which I appreciated. We mostly just gossiped about the guests. Lunch took about an hour and a half to be completely consumed and I felt some of my energy returned to me through the food.

Antonio and the family spent the next hour playing a very intricate card gave that I didn't understand but Antonio would flash me his cards every once in a while and wink so I assumed that meant he was doing pretty good. Everyone seemed to get used to me hanging over his shoulder at all times so the tension in the room died down. It was almost a comfortable atmosphere in there. Aunt Esta just had to go and ruin it.

"Ah! My ring! It's gone!" she cried. I didn't think anything of it. She had probably just taken it off somewhere. Arnaldo was the next to speak up.

"The gold one!?"This statement sent the small family into a panic. They scurried around for a bit, desperately flipping cushions and moving vases till the littlest pig squealed.

"I bet the pauper took it!" he cried. It took me a minute to realize **I** was the pauper. "He's the only one not looking! I bet he took it and was going to run off!" the piglet accused. Mama pig sent me a furious glare.

"You! Boy! Empty your pockets!" She ordered. I knew I hadn't taken the ring but it did make me a bit nervous when Toni shot me a scared face. I stood and dug my hands into my pockets. Right one? Nothing. Left one? Nothi-

Oh shit.

A little cold pendant slid across my fingertips. I did the stupidest thing ever and pulled it out for my own curiosity. Before I could take a good look at the circular jewelry, a sharp pain struck my cheek and threw me to the floor. The big greasy pig man stood above me with a snarl crossing his face. Antonio was at my side magically fast and holding up my head. Did I taste blood? Oh…my nose was oozing the scarlet liquid all over my face. I remembered to not wipe it off, lest I ruin the suit.

"You little shit! You think you can get away with something like that!? He's a thief!" He squealed to the others who agreed. Antonio and his mother looked to be pretty scared. I didn't have time to decide on my own feelings, I was pale and shocked and my cheek was burning.

"He's not!" The boy beside me protested. "Matteo! You bastard! You planted that on him, didn't you! Didn't you!?" He left my side and marched over to the little boy who he proceeded to grab by the collar. Mrs. Carriedo and Ludo pulled him away and his mother tried to calm him to no avail. Matteo oinked in pain though he hadn't been hurt and sobbed. Stupid brat.

"I-I swear I didn't take it! I swear, I never even _noticed_ you wearing it!" I chirped for my defense, fearing prison. This sort of thing WOULD get me sent to jail. Luckily, I had a particular little mama's girl on my side.

"Mother, please!" She begged and clung to the witch's arm. "Matteo was just being a trickster! Filthy little beast! I'm sure Lovino has done nothing! He's a noble knight!" she whined. Ha, ha. Point one for me.

Aunt Esta considered her daughter's pleas then pinned me to the floor with her killer glare.

"This is true?" She questioned with venom in her voice. I cringed a bit.

"Yes! I would never steal!" I whimpered. I'd have to go confess all of these lies tomorrow. Antonio's hands were placed under my arms and dragged me to my feet.

"You are safe for now, thief. But heed my warning, if I catch you with even a hair out of place I will not restrain myself from having you arrested." She spat. Kinda ironic since I had that one hair completely out of place but whatever.

"I understand." I said clearly. I'd have to keep my eagle-eyes out for that little Matteo brat but his big sister seemed to already be punishing him for me. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

Antonio pinned me to the counter and started examining my throbbing face. I blushed like hell which really hoped the visitors couldn't see.

"Bruise." He declared in his soft Spanish voice and touched the soft tenderly. He stopped when he realized what he was doing and backed off. I patted my clothes flat before returning my attention to the family.

"See now? Everything has been bettered." Ludo stated. No it hadn't! From what I saw, I took all the shit! I got punched in the face and accused of thievery! Ludo approached and tossed his hair to the side.

" The little one has done no harm. Innocent as a lamb." He stated and ruffled my hair. His hand brushed against my curl, turning me read and earning a little yelp. In shock, he removed his hand.

"Oh! Sorry. Have you got a soft skull?" he asked. No, dipshit! You fuck'n touched my sensitive hair! I hid myself behind Antonio to avoid the confused glances of the family. In embarrassment, the curl began to crinkle into an odd, static shape. Everyone was enthralled.

"How odd…" Ludo commented and curiously approached me. He took the curl in his hand and tugged. I squealed loudly and took off in the direction of the garden. Dammit!

Antonio' POV.

What had just gone on? Why on earth was he blushing so hard? He told me it was just hair… I excused myself and followed him. When I approached the tomato garden I couldn't see him but I knew we was there. He must have really not wanted to be found so I pulled a basket over and sat on it. I'm pretty good at waiting.

Soon enough, something stood up in the opposite side of the garden. I was shocked for a moment. Was that the monster of the tomato field? My mother had told me the stories but it was too small. Then it hit me. Lovi! This was the most I'd ever seen him blush! It was really cute but also a little worry some.

He came over to me and nodded his head toward the house, telling me he was ready to go back in. I offered him a smile that he tried to return. At least he tried, how cute~

I walked him back in to meet the curious gazes of the pig family. We were both under inspection until Ludo again broke the silence.

"What was that all about?" he asked and ran a hand through his own hair. Lovino blushed and looked at his feet while starting to mutter something quietly.

"S-soft skull." He lied. Ludo smirked.

"I study in the medical field. That was _no_ soft spot." He corrected. Stupid him. Just leave my Lovi alone. If he says it's a soft spot, it's a soft spot. If only I could tell him off.

"My mama says I'm special." He replied jokingly. There's the Lovi I know and love.

"Special or not, you're a medical mystery, Lovino." He retorted.

"_**Double**_ special." The Italian answed. Ludo didn't find him as funny as I did.

"Why does it stick out like that?" He asked with a little annoyance.

"I get up early to do my hair. I've got to look my best." He just gave a what-can-ya-do sigh.

"How strange…I have a lab in my university back home. We'd be more than interested in testing-"

"No, I like to be mysterious." Lovino interrupted with a nod. "The ladies love it."

I finally burst out laughing and my mother wasn't far behind. Nobody else seemed to understand our sense of humor. Ludo ran a hand though his hair and sighed.

"Fine, go along being a freak your whole life." He mumbled. Lovino just smiled and resisted insulting him.

"Maybe they'll put you in a circus." Arnaldo added before gathering the playing cards from the floor. This house _was_ a circus. The time till dinner passed in discussions of The Great War and politics. They all decided on going to the beach tomorrow and even Lovino was invited since he seemed to interest the family. He tried to decline but was nagged into coming with. It would be fun to go swimming with Lovi, even if we had to take the squealing relatives.

Dinner was Turkey and many other side dishes. Lovino was accepted into sitting at the table with us. Aunty Esta threw quite a fit at this but she was quickly silenced by her daughter. Everyone seemed to have lots of questions for him and were just as excited about this new comer as I was. I was glad it was going so well. He knew how to tolerate every one of them and generally avoid their hit lists. The entire dinner was centered around him. They wondered about his cooking and other jobs and even his criminal records. He was quite lightheaded by the end of dinner.

Lovino prompted to skip desert but Ludo and Carlotta wouldn't have any of it. They both loved having a new friend and forced the tired boy back to the table so they could pound him with more questions. By the time the cake had been finished, everyone knew Lovino from his favorite color to his methods of hunting wild game. (birds, rats, rabbits and squirl). I showed them all to their rooms, keeping Carlotta especially far.

Lovino fell against his bed with a thump after we had finally made it back to his room. He grumbled and squished his face into the pillow. Finally, one day done.

"Lovino, you have to get dressed before you can sleep. I'd be happy to help if it weren't for the guests in the house." I told him. He growled and managed to pull himself from the covers. I watched him zombie walk to his drawer and grab whatever was ontop. He struggled out of his suit, not caring where he threw the pieces then slipped into the over-sized night shirt. He plopped into bed and cuddled into his sheets, finally smiling genuinely.

How adorable! Awwwww~ I checked around before kissing his forehead and leaving for my own room. The kisses I gave him were so different from the other kisses I had given in my life. They left my lips hot and buzzing as they replayed the feeling again and again. I changed and dropped into my own bed.

Finally, half of the nightmare was over.

(Thank you! I won't be able to update for probably two weeks so I made this chapter a little longer. This is my first fan fiction so any comments are appreciated. What I did wrong, what I did right. Your opinion is greatly valued. Even if it's just "I love it" or "I hate it". Thank you!)


	5. The beach

Chapter 5.

WARNING: foul mouth, profanities, offensive terms and language. Also, I borrowed a few (around three) lines from other stories. I will credit them if requested to.

Lovino's POV.

I woke up and noticed that the only thing on my mind was the idiot Spaniard in a room over. Damn it. I probably dreamt of him, not that I'd remember though. When did I become such a sissy?

I shooed the thoughts away by latching my hands together and pulling my body into a painful stretch before glancing at the clock. 5:01. A.k.a, way too damn early to be awake. I hoisted myself up with effort and began shuffling through my drawers for appropriate clothes. I was either going crazy or obsessed because I swear, somehow everything reminded me of _him_. I never used to be so "fascinated" with a sing person before until I met Antonio. His laugh, his smile, his teeth, even his ears were brought back to mind once a minute. It was really creepy but still…I didn't quite mind. I just probably shouldn't tell other people about it, lest I end up in an asylum. A knock on the door disrupted my thoughts and my attention was led to the tall, curly haired woman in my door frame. She just watched me so I took that as my cue to greet her properly. I stuffed the linens back into the drawer and stood.

"Mrs. Carriedo" I said and ducked my head a bit. It showed my respect but it was really just a way for me to avoid looking into her eyes. I couldn't. After what I'd done to her, how could I tell her or even rest my eyes against hers. She laughed lightly before walking in and shutting the door softly. I raised my head but kept my focus anywhere but her face.

"You've got the 'personal assistant' thing down pretty well, huh?" she sent me a kind smile. One I really didn't deserve.

"Uh, yeah. I've worked a lot of jobs, it's just customer service." I answered a little nervously, even though I had never used those customer service skills with actual customers.

"Hard worker. You should try to teach Toni about that. He can never focus on an assigned task. He jumps around more than a squirrel." The woman noted. I gave a short, weary laugh in response.

"Anyways, Lovino. I just wanted to stop in and fill you in on some stuff before we start our little beach adventure. Each member of the family brings their own personal 'care taker' on outings. You, as Toni's, are responsible for following him everywhere, caring for his safety and packing both of your lunches. Okay?" She rested a perfectly manicured hand on my shoulder, sending cold shivers down me.

"Y-Yeah. Got it. Is um…is Antonio up?" I hoped my lip biting didn't seem to obvious.

" No, I'll be getting him in just a minute. You like him, don't you?" She asked.

"Couse!- uh…like a friend…" I knew by her laugh that she had seen through that.

"He likes you too." She smiled reassuringly. The mood seemed light, I decided to ask a question that had been riding me for a bit.

"What happened to Antonio's personal assistant before me? He didn't have one when I came, right?"

"That's right. Antonio has always refused to be waited on by another human. It just doesn't sit right with him I guess. He bathes and changes on his own, fetches his own things, runs his own errands." She explained. I nodded in understanding. She ruffled my hair (why do people always do that to me?) and left.

Without much ado, I tuned back to the drawers and looked for a swimsuit. There must be one there somewhere. Because no one in this family seems to understand personal space, I was interrupted by yet another, more excited, Spaniard barging into my room.

"G'morning Lovi!" a thick accent cooed over my shoulder. I turned and greeted him with my usual scowl. Wasn't it five in the morning? Didn't people ever sleep?

"Mama kicked me and said you wanted to see me." He informed me.

"I-I didn't want to see you, I just wanted to know if you were awake or not." I defended my pride.

"Sooo…you don't want me here then?" he gave me a sad Bambi face. Jesus, it wasn't like I had killed his- oh wait…

"You can stay, whatever. Just…help me find a swimsuit." He was more than pleased with my response and started looking with me. We didn't end up finding one but I brushed it off by saying I probably wasn't going to swim anyways. Antonio tried to comfort me by offering to not swim either but I assured him I wasn't going to get eaten by a shark while on land.

"Lovi~ I'm glad you're coming with us." He said and nuzzled into my neck. Heat quickly pinkened my cheeks. It wasn't uncomfortable, b-but wasn't this whole gay-with-my-butler business supposed to be a secret!? I squirmed against the touch.

"Let me hold you." I gentle command came from the mass of chocolate hair. My body froze, listening to the Spaniard's wishes before my own and I could do nothing but check the closed door to reassure myself. A warm tingling stung my neck and I realized I was being kissed. My face was consumed by the red flush but the heated pecks only traveled further up. I could feel and count every one, lips brushing against my skin with gentle fire. Shit. Shit. It was really nice but it was going to be getting to me soon if I let it continue . My mind buzzed but my body remained in it's firm position. Damn it, I would be losing myself any second and falling into the strong arms keeping me up.

"T-toni…" I whispered, letting him know my discomfort. Not discomfort of our position, of what our position could become. It scared me how he could just melt me so easily, I could lose myself then everything would just go downhill. He pulled his head up and looked into my eyes with his gentle, half lidded, green orbs. He laughed under his breath with a sort of happiness I knew was deeper than the smile.

"Alright, I'll stop, Beautiful." She whispered. Beautiful wasn't a word I had ever heard directed at me before but god it felt good. He read my face.

"Has no one told you you're beautiful before?" he asked, accent thickening. I just shook my head in a still stunned response. This erected another soft laugh from the man.

"The most beautiful. They must all be jealous." He ran his tanned fingers across my arm. I must have been blushing quite hard because I felt my knees weaken as if I would collapse any minute. The trails his fingers left burned with a sweet sensation. Lips were pressed against my cheek before I felt the over affectionate man's warmth lifted off of me and instead of relief, I felt a new weight in my stomach.

"Maybe we can continue this more privately later. I really would like that chance to tell you how beautiful you are." He sighed and left the room under my stunned silence. _Antonio…He was really something else…_

I spent the rest of my dressing time excusing it as the Spaniard's reading of too many romance novels while secretly I lusted to know why it was _me_ he said these things to. There's _got_ to be nicer, prettier, more well-kept people than me. Maybe he was a lot stupider than I thought.

The mansion was silent and cold when I left my room. The sound of my heels clicking on the marble was the only melody to awake the sleeping house. I made my way down stairs and pulled opened the massive curtains and soon thin, blue rays of sun joined me in my escapade of the weary building. The kitchen was solemn, mourning the loss of sizzling fires, people laughing and the strong scent of delicious food wafting through the air. I quickly put an end to that and started the oven. Life and heat filled the room again as I chopped tomatoes, not so secretly sneaking a few chunks into my waiting and hungry mouth.

In no less than an hour, lunch was happily cooking and almost done. Veggie (mostly tomato) soup, bread and tomatoes. Not to pat my own back but they were pretty damn amazing.

"Wow…you've been busy." A familiar voice rung from behind me. I didn't even have to look back because in the next moment there was an arm around my hips and he was standing beside me to look into the bubbling pot. I shook the arm off casually and kept stirring.

"Can I try it?" The nicely dressed (not that I was checking him out) man asked.

"If you want to burn your mouth so bad you can never taste another tomato." I answered and looked up at his shocked face. My lips pulled up slightly as I pulled the spoon out and began to blow on it. Damn, I was such a sucker for the idiot. He smiled again and ate the soup I offered him.

"It's delicious! But I didn't really doubt that."

"Really? Then why are you watching me over my back?" not that I minded too much, he was warm.

"I Just wanted to hand out with you." He answered nonchalantly.

"Then go away, I can cook on my own."

"Boy, can you ever." He chuckled.

"The pigs- uh the relatives must be waking up soon. Go entertain them so they stay out of my way." He laughed at my purposed slip up.

"They seem to like you. Carlotta maybe a bit too much."

"You should be jealous, she's a real charmer." I snickered a bit and felt an arm wrap around my waist again.

"Idiot, let go and go be with your family." I squirmed under his hold again, getting a bit nervous with fear of being seen.

"I don't need them when I can be right here." He rested his head on my shoulder and I attempted to shrug it off.

"What's with you being all touchy? Go. You'll get us both in trouble." I insisted. It took a bit more persuasion before he reluctantly left the kitchen and I let my smile fill my face. If he had seen, I'd never hear the end of how cute I was. Other help came in and packaged all of my food. They then began to cook breakfast for the waking family. I made it a goal to stay in the kitchen and avoid contact with the relatives for as long as I could. As fun as they were, they weren't actually any fun at all.

I snacked on a mango and listened to the mindless banter emanating from the dining room. They were all too tired to say anything of sophistication and responded to each other in weary grunts. Breakfast was finished uneventfully and guests departed for their rooms in order to prepare for the day However, a certain curly haired dope stuck behind just to watch me eat my mango and tell me about a crazy dream he had. I was in it but I didn't bother to listen and find out my role.

"This'll be your first care ride, right?" he interrupted my not-caring day dreams.

"Oh uh…yup." I answered simply and fidgeted with the thought. I was undeniably nervous. Up until meeting Antonio, my mantra in life was 'Stick to what you know, Stay were you belong'. Antonio, being the ninja wizard he was, sensed my digression.

"You don't have to worry. I've ridden in the car hundreds of times and I'm fine! (thought that could be argued. From the way he smiled at me like the sun shone out my ass, it was clear 'fine' wasn't an appropriate adjective for this man.) Besides, you'll sit next to me so I can hold your hand till we're there."

I scoffed. "You seemed to be forgetting the witch. If she sees you holding my hand for reasons other than dragging me around she'll…I dunno, give me twenty years of bad ju-ju or something." He merely laughed as if I had made a joke. I was serious, I was more than certain that lady could curse me into non existence.

"Cars can only hold four people. Mama, Ava, myself and you will be riding together and the others make their own situations. You can cuddle me all you want!" his face suddenly got closer so I distracted my attention to the tangy fruit in my hands. It was very interesting, okay? All those speckles n' shit…whatever.

"Who said I wanted to cuddle with you!?" I remembered to keep my voice quiet.

"Your body did." The words practically dribbled over his lips as he moved his hips closer to mine. I found that an appropriate time to excuse myself from the room and hop up the stair with a delicate speed. I was stopped feet from my room my a bouncy little girl with her bushy curls hanging loose against her back. She smiled up at me expectantly and bounced on her toes.

"Loviiino~" she sang my name and giggled.

I take a moment to stop here and wonder how my life became this. I was a rough necked Italian, slipping wallets from coat pockets, running free, napping whenever I wanted to without little to care about and now I was here. A little girl stood before me and bubbled in my presence, just waiting to lay a new command upon her boy toy and I'd have to nod with a simple "Yes, princess". Fuck my life.

"Yes? Is there something you need my assistance with?" she seemed more than giddy with my response and I was really hoping she knew how to wipe on her own by this age because that is one request that would never be fulfilled.

"Si. I need you to tie the laces on my swimsuit for me." She answered and proudly held out her bustless chest. I sighed in relief. That was an easy take I could perform in seconds.

"Alright, lets go to your room." I offered politely. She nodded and bounced down the corridor to a guestroom and ducked inside. When we were in, she let her towel fall and turned her back to reveal the corset-like structure. I began lacing it as I knew how to. (I'm not a perv, I'm just not a baby.)

"Do you like it? I got it as a present from my mother for my seventeenth birthday." I took a portion of a second to glance at the material. It was definatley…pink.

"Stunning." I answered, already half way done.

"Really!? You like it? So do I. You see, the trim is just wonderful and these stripes-"

I really stopped caring at that point and finished the lacing quickly. "All done." I said and began to dismiss myself.

"Wait." I was stopped the door way. She studied herself over before looking back at me. "You really think it looks good on me?" she asked a little cautiously.

I could always tell her that all the other girls would be jealous or that she looked like a princess but she was starting to make a tiny spot on my soft side and she deserved something a little better. After all, she had saved my ass a few times and seemed to just be a crazed romantic. I pulled a soft smile onto my face. This girl really wasn't so bad, she just had some bad habits.

"You're positively glowing." I commented and left for my room and made the trip successfully this time. I replaced my shoes with sandals and ran my fingers through my messy hair a few times. Okay, I could do this.

Soon we were all loaded into the car and as promised, Antonio sat at my side. The engine started and the car burst into life, roaring and shuttering like a monster. Antonio leaned close and spent the ride easing my thoughts.

"I don't even know why we're going to the beach. It's early February, you'll turn into an ice cube the minute your feet hit the water." I grumbled and pulled our lunch basket from the trunk as the others began to unload as well.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see Lovi. This is our family's private beach." He happily took the basket from me.

"Wait, you guys bought a fuck'n beach?" I exclaimed, keeping my voice down.

"Um, not really. I only say it's ours because we always go there and no one else has found it. Ours by tradition." He explained and led me down a tree barren path. I adjusted his big sun hat so it didn't slouch over his eyes.

"Okay, close your eyes for a second." He instructed. I obeyed but threatened his life if he led me into a tree. He pulled my hands off my eyes a minute later to reveal a long, sandy beach. Wait…wasn't it winter just a minute ago? This was like some sort of hidden summer paradise. I looked it over twice.

"Cool, Huh?" Antonio excitedly dropped the basket and ran to the sparkling waters, holding his hat in place with one hand as he went. He stomped in then immediately ran back out, screeching about if still being cold. I found myself laughing as I retrieved the basket. I found a nice sunny spot far enough from the water's edge to park myself and watch my idiot boyfr- um…my Antonio.

The rest of the family disrobed their covers and joined the screaming boy as well. Matteo's first assault of his cousin came from kicking the cold water at him. Aunty Esta remained with only her toes in the water and watched the children pick on Antonio. In the next line of attack, Uncle Arnaldo took initiative by tackling Antonio who was wresting with Ludo. I smiled. He seemed to be enjoying himself, It was great seeing him laughing and playing around as if he hadn't just moved away from his best friends.

Him and Ludo wrestled, taking out their pent up anger out on each other and nobody dared disrupt the rage fit between the two. Mrs. Carriedo started getting fed up with the sand and dirt rather quickly and had the silent maid drive her back so she could shower and make tea. Obviously, the beach wasn't her thing. Once she knew Antonio was settled and I was watching with eagle eyes, she felt no reason to stay in the filth.

Time passed rather quickly. Carlotta built three sand castles and claimed she owned them and threatened anyone who dare splash them. Matteo spent his time pestering his sister and in the end, Antonio was left on his own, attempting what I assume was hand fishing. Esta was the first to declare lunch and the tan family retreated to the shore in promise of food.

"Lovino! There's some rock coves a little further that way. Can we eat there?" I lazily led my eyes to the direction of the excited pointing.

"Knock yourself out." I answered and fell back onto my elbows, letting the sunglasses slip over my eyes. He pouted and watched me watch the water.

"Lovino, you have to come with me." He whined. He didn't seem to use nick names around the relatives.

"I'm comfortable." I grumbled and peeked at him over the top of the glasses. He just cried silently and looked at me pleadingly.

"Ugh! Okay, I'm up, I'm up." I huffed and stood with the help of the overly pleased man. The other Family were too busy talking amongst themselves to really care.

"It's just over here! A short walk, they're really cool." He led me further down the strip of sand. The walk was only about five minutes but as promised, I was introduced to giant boulder caves sitting on the sand like prehistoric land marks. Inside proved to be littered with beds of thick, damp sand and trash.

"It looks like crap." I mentioned, looking at the waste scattered. Antonio was unfazed.

"Yeah, my uncle parties here sometimes. Don't worry." He excitedly skitted around moved the trash to the side. He fell onto the sand in a criss-cross and invited me to sit beside him. I wondered what he grew up like, did he even grow or did he start out _more_ childish? Regardless I sat beside him and took in the salty breeze that made my hair practically weightless. It felt really good being like this with Antonio, it was so comfortable and being alone for the first time made the silence a sweet remedy to the chaos on the other side of the beach. I took a deep breath and leaned my head against him.

Finally…relaxation took over and I let my eye lids fall as he brushed his fingers through my hair.

"Lovino…" he mused my name just to see how it felt in his mouth. It was embarasseing but I didn't bother reprimanding him.

"Mi Tomata." He added with more smile in his voice than before.

"That's a stupid name. Tomata Isn't even a word." I corrected. He just hugged and twisted my auburn hair between his fingers.

"Si, but it is only a pet name so it doesn't have to make sence. Would you rather I make up another?"

"Sure, but make it a cool name."

"Hm, okay then…how about…el capullo?"

"That's a Spanish word, right?"

"Yes. It means 'cacoon'. Secretamente hermosa, pero solo para mi." (Secretly beautiful, but only for me)

"Stop using Spanish! I don't understand it." I pouted.

"I can't help it Lovi~ I'm sick!" I looked up at him questioningly.

"Nadie puede ayudar a mi enfermedad."(No one can help my sickness.)he clarified but I elbowed him lightly in the stomach for using Spanish just to pick on me. I could play this game too.

"Il tuo nome e mop capo idiota." (your name is mop headed idiot.)

"Hey! I understood that idiot part!" he made an offended face but it softened as soon as I started laughing and he joined in laughing.

"I'm excited to teach you all the cool things I know how to do. Like juggling and horse riding and checkers and you can listen to this really cool Elvis guy." He was laughing and making obscene hand gestures for each topic he spoke of. I wondered if my parents ever did things like that and if maybe I'd be doing those things now if they had kept me. A silence made time for me to think about it.

"I wonder what my parents are like." I mentioned and started unpacking food for us.

"Stupid." he answered plainly and took a slice of bread, following my scowl.

"Just because they (I assume) had no money doesn't mean they're stupid." I hissed but he only looked down at me with loving eyes.

"They're stupid because they gave you up. That makes them the stupidest." He wrapped his arms around me. "But I have you now so I win." He said with a poem-like fluidity to his voice. I blushed furiously but he let go the next moment and went back to working with his lunch. Okay…I guess he can get away with calling my only confirmed family members stupid. Stupid romantic. I leaned my head up slightly and pressed my pearly pink lips against his pale brown ones. I'm not sure why I did it but it was a moment of fire in each of us. Regardless of it only being a chicken peck, it sent an electric twist shooting through us as we were connected in a new way. I pulled away in a fraction of a moment and the Spaniard's eyes flickered with shock. I watched his surprised face, wondering what kind of emotion would surface after the confusion. He smiled. He smiled but, it wasn't a big goofy lip curl that I most commonly saw, it was a smile that actually had a message of sweet intent to display. His emerald eyes quickly lost themselves in mine and I was kissing him again. How I got there, I have no idea. I was hypnotized my his face. That time it lasted a few seconds that felt centuries long. I had no thoughts. None.

Wait, that's a lie. I had only one thought and it was of that man sitting at my side, sharing a beautiful moment of soundless heartbeats. We pulled away slowly at the same time and I felt his warm breath suddenly waft over my lips. I opened my eyes and realized how close that face was. The face I woke up thinking about and the face I thought about nonstop for the past two days. Noticing this, the heat I was lacking rushed up to my face and I found myself obsessively stirring the soup, probably a lot rougher than I should have been. The man, who was a perfect stranger earlier in the week, chuckled and ran a hand down my back before returning to his lunch and whispering words in Spanish.

We ate our lunch and conversed over the topic of the things would could teach each other. On my part, fishing, hunting, pick pocketing, working your way out of hasty situations, cooking and other such street rat activities. He offered calligraphy, advanced math, science, sports, politics, world affairs and other such fat cat activities. We finished our lunch and put away the empty canisters.

"Doesn't it bother you that we're both guys?" I asked as we watched the incoming waves.

"No. Why." He returned to his favorite activity of playing with my hair.

"I hear a lot of nasty people in the town." I answered and leaned against him.

"What do you mean?"

"Y'know…mean names and such. I heard a bunch of boys go bye once who said that all fagots should be punished my being put on metal rods, ass first." The hand petting me slowed and his face went stern.

"Lovi…Don't you ever listen to those people, do you hear me?" His voice was filled with an empty shallowness I'd never heard before. I instantly agreed, praying for the dumb cheerfulness to return. He hand began to stroke at a normal pace again.

"Those people are the true sinners, Lovi. Don't you ever believe their liar mouths." I nodded and cuddled up closer to ease to mood. It worked as he smiled at my show of affection. This was comfortable, this couldn't be a sin, right? It didn't make sense but then again, common sense is the worst enemy of love.

We talked more about the skills we would share with each other. I mentioned my talents in Asian cuisine due to my experience in a Chinese restaurant. He told me about his wicked handstand.

"Handstand, really?" I asked with curiosity. I had tried many times and failed every time.

"Yah! I'm really cool, here I'll show you. All of my little cousins really like it." He scooted the lunch basket away and firmly planted his hands. I watched in awe as he gave a little boost and raised his feet over his head and against the wall. It was as cool as made up to be.

"You're cute upside down!" he giggled and dropped himself. I watched and wondered why he wasn't bubbling up as always.

"Hey, Toni. Get up."I commanded but he looked at me with scared and confused eyes.

"My leg feels funny…" He stated in a morbid tone. I dropped beside him and rolled him onto his back so he was flat and I could assess his body. He leg looked fine other than the chunk of wine bottle fastened into his calf. As soon as I saw it, he did too and started screaming. Tears pooled over his eyes and leaved into giant soggy sand puddles. The screaming was in pure fear and it was as endless as the labored breathing that viciously pumped his chest up and down. Shit. Shit!

This wasn't just a cut, this was a fear. A deadly fear and Antonio was in panic. I quickly set into action, thrusting his head back so he couldn't see the injured limb and put my hand over his eyes which set him into further panic.

"FUCK! FUCK YOU! SHIT! IT FUCK'N HURTS! MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND!" He cried and fought me like a rabid animal. Sweat beaded and fell before more fell a second later then more and more till his clothes were soaked.

"Antonio! Calm down! It's okay! It's okay! Okay! All fine!" I kept repeating in a frenzy to calm him. He eventually stopped fighting my hand.

"That's right, good job. Relax, relax. Your leg just fell asleep. Shh, I'm here." I slowly worked my voice in a subdued tone and his panic followed. He stopped screaming and instead grabbed onto my wrist so hard I thought I would break. I let my teeth grind and whispered more relaxing words to settle the Traumatophobic (fear of injury) further. After five minutes he was reduced to panting and whining.

"Shhh, Antonio? I'm going to do something that will hurt but it's going to help the leg, okay?" I whispered. The panting and whining increased more frantically but I hushed him back down and started to ease him again.

"It's okay, it's me, Lovino. I wouldn't hurt you. Okay?" the grip on my wristed tightened though I didn't know how that was even possible but none the less, he nodded slowly.

"Don't open your eyes, promise?" I was answered with another terrified nod. I slowly scooted to the injury that had been dripping scarlet. I bit down on my bottom lip and quickly removed the piece of glass. The grip on my wrist tightened and there was a snap sound followed by pain running up my arm but I quickly hushed him and whispered securities. He relaxed and I felt confident bringing my mouth down to the cut. I had licked my own wounds plenty of times and I kept telling myself this was no different.

"Be strong okay? You're doing good." I whispered before connecting my mouth and cleaning it. He whined abs squirmed but did a good job of controlling his panic. The blood was awful. Not because it tasted like rust and sand but because it was Antonio's. The blood was a dead-on reminder of that accident years ago. The memories throbbed against my skull, trying to break my brain free from it's confines so I let it. Memories shot through like a flash flood. I saw pain and blood and tears but I had to be strong. For Antonio's sake, this couldn't get the better of me. It settled on that face that looked with dying relief at me. It rested in my mind, watching me with such hate and anguish as I cleaned the wound with the roughness of my tongue. Guilt wasn't even a word right now, it was only one of many adjectives that pounded in my veins even after I lifted my mouth and whipped my sleeve across my face. I scooted closer to Antonio's face and told him it was time to stand now, ignoring the broken wrist. He nodded and I managed to help him onto barely functioning legs. Screw the lunch basket; it could stay in that cave forever. With reassuring encouragements, I got him walking. We stumbled along for what seemed like hours till we could see human faces again. I restrained from calling out to them, knowing that shouting would make him anxious. Ludo was the first to notice and for once did something reasonable. He jogged over and took the other side of Antonio and half of my weight. We made it to the cars after I reassured him that it was only Ludo and we were going to take care of him.

The cars were fuck'n miles away even though I could have sworn they were only a ten minute walk when he arrived. We managed the tiring Spanish boy to the first car and began loading him into the back seat. The rest of the family followed on our heels and I calmly explained the handstand incident even though I was terrified inside. I'm rather good in emergency situations.

"Lovino! You're like a knight!" Carlotta explained. Shit! Antonio opened his eyes to glare at her. If looks could kill, she was dead times a hundred.

"I am fucking _sick_ and _tired_ of you hitting on Lovino all the god damn time. You're just a little brat who thinks everybody loves you so give the fuck up and go away." He hissed menacingly, officially having no nerves left. I tried to hurry, managing the seat belt in lightning speed. If she could just shut her trap-

"You jerk! I love him for real! I know he's a slave and I'm of an aristocratic family but I still love him! Even knowing that!" she hissed. That was the last straw left for Antonio and his pure panic trumpeted all restraints he had before.

"Yeah, you're such a saint!" He said, slurring words. No Toni, please don't say it, I'm almost done with my seatbelt. If he could just hold on one second-

"You're pathetic! I know he's the one responsible for my father's death but I still love him!" He shot.

No…

Screw the seatbelt. I slammed the door shut and gave Ava the instructions to drive. My thoughts ran blank for the car ride. The only feeling left was the hand clenching down on my broken wrist.

I don't remember very much of what happened next. It was so quick. I mainly remember going to the hospital, being shoved around and finally put in the hospital room with Antonio who I was inseparable from because of his iron grip. I remember him crying and panicking and I calmed him down rather quickly (again, not sure how). We sat in pure silence for an hour. Antonio's breath has returning to a calm level and the nurses offered to aid my wrist but I refused since the Large tanned hand was still clinging to it for dear life. They came back in later and informed me that Antonio's mother had arrived and she asked that I leave the room.

She had heard…of course. I knew she would. I guess sooner before later in this case. I kissed Antonio's forehead and managed to convince him to let me step outside. He certainly was not a fan of that idea and started to suffer withdrawal but it couldn't be helped. He had to talk with the person who hated me most in the world. I left and found a good listening spot to crouch in, hidden from the view of passerby's.

The familiar gruesome clicking heels echoed in the hallway and entered the panicked boy's room who immediately asked her to bring Lovino back but he was denied.

"Antonio, that boy is bad. You're not hanging out with him." I could hear every world clearly.

"Mama! Don't say that! Lovino is nothing but good!"

"He's **not** coming anywhere near my house! After what he did…I would never be able took look at him without doing something awful."

"Then…then let me move out! I'm ready to be on my own two feet now-"

"But not with _that_ boy. He's dangerous. You're grounded. I'll assign someone to conform to your needs but I have to keep you there for your own protection."

"But Lovi wouldn't hurt me!"

"Yes he will Antonio. Even if he doesn't mean it, he's selfish, impatient, rude, disobedient and fast to act on impulse! What's to keep him from running out on the street again!? Nothing! So it's my job to keep you from running after him. I lost your father and I won't lose you to that little devil-"

"Don't call him that! I love him!"

"He's tearing this family apart! He's already taken your father from me, you're all I have left! I'm your mother Antonio and I **will** protect you."

"Fuck protecting! I won't be worth protecting if you take him away!"

"You'll live! I'll tell Esta to set up some of those dates. You'll get married to a nice girl, have children and forget this whole fiasco. Just. Not. _Him_."

"No! Lovino is the only one I'll ever love! I can never-"

I didn't stick around to hear anymore. Shame on me. I ruin everything I touch…shame on me. I stood up and left. I needed to go back to my box. Back to rats and disease.

Back to where I belonged.


	6. Separation Anxiety

Chapter 6.

WARNING: foul mouth, profanities, offensive language and situations.

Lovino's POV.

God…what was wrong with me? How did I end up like this? I stopped running and slouched against the wall of a store. At least I was in town…I was farther from the Carriedo's, whose life I was thrown into with no warning and managed to fuck up. Damn it. I forced my tired legs forward. "Home" was now within sight. It would be better if I just stayed there till I was killed my startvation and disease years later. That's how I was meant to die. I didn't deserve to be held by Antonio in my last moments, all I had ever done for him was ruined his life.

A foot perched lazily in front of me sent me sprawling to the hard concrete. Immediately, I flashed a glare at the boy who's foot had shot me to the ground but he only snickered back.

"Ciao bambino. Dove stai andando che grida?" (Hey baby. Were are you going crying like that?)

Crying? I wasn't- I reached a hand up to feel my soaked cheeks. Damn it. I scowled up at him though I wasn't able to put my whole heart into it. He swung his bottle in one hand and the other ran it's fingers though his unnaturally bleached hair.

"Lasciami in pace!"(Leave me alone!) I growled and got up on my feet to be intimidating. No such luck. He was taller than me by a good five inches. He mocked me with a laugh.

"Non volete appendere fuori con me? Chiamami Vito." (Don't you want to hang out with me? Call me Vito.) He said.

"No gazie. Non voglio amici come voi." (No thanks. I don't want friends like you." (I answered and began to walk but was tugged back by my arm.

"Si guardi piuttosto stressato. vorrei aiutarti, amico." (You look pretty stressed. Let me help out out, friend.)

"Look, I don't know what the hell your problem is but I already said fuck off." I hissed.

"Oh, English? Well, I'm not one to let me friends down so easily." My knew 'friend' Vito declared before roughly grabbing my jaw and jerking my head towards him. I knew what he wanted, he just wanted me to be a toy, he wanted to laugh at me and take advantage of my pitifulness.

"Burn in hell, fuck head." I growled again. He held up the bottle.

"This will help you forget what troubles you. Common, I wouldn't hurt you. We're friends." He flashed me an even more hideous, cruel smile. Damn right. I know what that stuff does.

"Trust me." He voice grew more menacing and the smile left as he dragged me with him a few feet into an alley. Shit. Alleys meant trouble. I closed my lips tightly and tried to fight him. He let go of my jaw but instead put the fingers over my nostrils to hold them shut. I shot my mouth open and gasped. Dammit…things were getting bad.

"I only want to help you, little baby." He teased and shoved the neck of the bottle past my lips till my mouth filled with the alcohol then pulled it out. I quickly swallowed it all and opened my mouth to take in deep gasps. He released my nose and began to laugh. Laughing at me…and I could do nothing but let him. I was pathetic. I was letting him handle me like swine. I coughed and hacked as I felt the burning liquid settle in my stomach.

"There, that should help you loosen up." Vito said with a chuckle. Damn him. Damn every one! I just wanted to be left alone.

"Why don't you finish up the bottle, my treat." He held it out to me. Damn him… I snatched the bottle from his grip. What have I got to lose? My humility? Gone. My sanity? Worthless. I might as well play along, I wasn't strong enough in any sense to fight back. I tilted my head back and lifted the bottle to my lips.

God had never helped me, only made me the victim of cruel jokes. At least the stinging liquid would pass over the pain, it would numb me until morning. I could forget, I could relax. If only for one night. Maybe that smiling face would fade into lost memories. Maybe his laugh would only be as meaningful as common street noise. Maybe his touch would be so far away I wouldn't remember the sensation. The alcohol was no match for my desire to forget. It was gone in seconds.

In my dizziness, I heard the incessant laughing of a master playing with his toy. It was mocking me. Who cares? No one, not even me. I stumbled in any direction I could follow. I felt pain, fists, stinging, burning then I was gone. I slipped into a carefree world of uncouncoiusness.

Antonio's POV.

My Lovi was scared. He was hurt. I knew that much, I could feel the twisting in my gut yet all I could do was sob into the sheets of the hospital bed. I hated this place. The air was as brittle and cold and quiet as the people working there. People in pain surrounded me and I swear I could hear their whispers of regret through the walls of this hell. I wanted to leave, I wanted Lovi!

No…I couldn't see Lovi anymore. My most precious possession would never again be mine. Soft auburn hair tempted my fingers but I would never again stroke it. The memories of golden honey eyes replayed in my mind yet I knew I would never again look into them.

I was told I'd forget them. They'd be no more than one of many fazes and soon my children would over rule any remorse I had. I'd have a perfect little wife and a stake I the estate. I'd have fields and fields of vegetables. I'd have a warm home and steady life. _ I'd be happy_.

That was the greatest lie. I couldn't imagine anything that made me happy that didn't directly relate to Lovino. God…sweet Lovino…

The sound of heels clicked against the tile floors outside my room. People passed between patients. Nurses received and delivered orders. Each one of them created that awful '_tuck'_ noise that echoed and shook me. I was reminded of a poem I had read once called The Raven. A man, mourning the death of his wife, was haunted by an evil raven that would say nothing more than "Never more" to remind him of his fate.

_Tuck_

_Tuck_

_Tuck._

This was the sound of my raven. Never more will you be happy. Never more will you see that boy or touch him or kiss him. Never more will the sun shine radiantly. Never more will you see beauty in the lush hills. Never more.

It was driving me insane. I pleaded to God that it would just shut up but it continued, torturing me. It resounded through the fingers plugged into my ears. It was everywhere, I was unable to fight it.

_Tuck. _

_Tuck._

_Tuck._

Go away! Shut up! Leave me alone! Please, don't linger to remind me of an unbearable pain. It continued. God…god dammit! Go away! Leave me in peace!

I screamed. As loud and hard as I could force my lungs to do so. Being without Lovino was hell.

Lovino's POV.

I woke up beside a dumpster. My body ached but my mind was worse. The throbbing covered all hope of thinking clearly and I was left staring at the brick wall in front of me.

Was I dead? I couldn't tell. It was hazy and I didn't care about anything. If breathing weren't a reflex, I probably wouldn't bother to do that either. Maybe death was better than this since all I could seem to do was stare and breath.

Then it hit me. _Antonio_. That's what I was missing, that's why I was so lifeless. I pushed my palms into my eye sockets and rubbed, praying I might have ten minutes of peace. Ten minutes in which I didn't have to remember him. I forced my wobbly legs under me and began to stumble out of the alley.

Had sun shine ever hurt so much? I didn't remember it piercing my skin mercilessly and making that throbbing increase ten fold. Maybe this was just because of the bottle I downed yesterday. Probably. I walked till my dizzy eyes could make out where I was and I managed to make my way to a bend in the river where my box used to be. It was probably being used as some one else's house now. I slumped under the tree and collapsed into a tired heap. I wanted to stop thinking, mainly because the only thing I could think about was the tanned Spanish boy with the emerald eyes. I loved him. I could admit that to myself now but it still felt like more than love. I couldn't stop thinking about him. _Antonio._ The name flowed off my tongue. I could still feel every touch of his callused fingers over my skin. His lips against mine, kissing me back.

It was Hell. From what the nuns had told me, Hell was a place of no happiness. In Hell, you are completely alone without even your thoughts to comfort you. It is Hell in which the haters go to spend the rest of time. Yup, this was Hell.

Over dramatic much? No. I knew pain. My parents left me to die or be crushed in the hands of the devil. I grew up with my only friends being old ladies and I learned true hunger by age nine. I had fleas, ticks, lice and I contracted every disease at least twice. I was the scum of society, spit on by those above. My life was crime and I was responsible for the death of a perfectly healthy man. Still…none of that compared to how I felt now.

I loved the most perfect person on the planet but all I did was hurt him. Didn't some dipshit say it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Bull shit.

A week passed but to me, time was just time. I woke up either feeling something awful or feeling nothing at all. Some days, I would scrap with anyone who passed me until finally I was knocked unconscious by a group of angry bystanders. One day, I took up an offer of pitty to do the act of passion with another street rat girl. I got our shirts off but found myself rejecting her and running away. I spent endless hours letting myself rot in the cold and ignored the thunder in my stomach. Could I wait another thirty years for this joke to end? Surely, time could only destroy me further. I laid back and let myself pass out from hunger. I used to be Lovino, a rough necked Italian who found love and was embarrassed by it. Now…I wasn't sure who or what I was.

Antonio's POV.

As promised, I had been locked in my room with a maid named Alita to wait on me. She stood against the wall at all times and silently watched me think about Lovino until I cried, which I did multiple times a day. She got used to the routine but did nothing more than listen to me cry his names and bring me a box of tissues. With the rest of my time, I tried to make friends with Alita who seemed to have no interest in talking to me. She either answered my questions with simple answers or would remind me that it is not her place to have any sort of relationship with me. My mother liked to check in on me some times and try to explain herself but in those times I just nodded and stopped listening. She called me bambino and stoked my hair and told me she was doing the best she could.

I knew she was. She was trying her hardest, being the best mother she knew how to be because she loved me more than she loved anyone else but…I wanted Lovino.

Lovino was perfect. Everything about him, everything he did was perfection. Nobody was like Lovino and he couldn't be replaced. Not even by safety. I would rather die by jumping in front a car for the little Italian than die in a life without Lovino. Even if I had children, they'd never be truly mine. It would be I that created them but Lovino was so much of me. Without him…they'd be the product of my sperm and a woman I never loved.

" , Perhaps you wish to walk around the manor?" Alita offered as she approaching the bed I was lying on.

"No…I don't see the point." I offered with a drowsy voice.

"It'll be some excursive. You haven't been out of bed for six hours."

"What for?"

"It'll give you a chance to work your muscle."

"I've nothing to do with muscle anymore, right?"

"Oh…well, perhaps it will lighten your mood."

I sighed and tried to smile. The lips moved but my heart didn't. "Avita, (I hadn't bothered with anyone's nicknames since I was scolded for the creation of 'Lovi'.) have you ever loved?" I asked. She seemed a bit stunned by my question but returned to her emotionless face and flattened her skirt.

"I have a family that I love." She answered. I rolled onto my stomach and held my head on my hands.

"Not that kind of love. _Amore_. True love." I clarified. She coughed into her hand.

"Mr. Carriedo, I am but hired to care for you. Not to speak of such-"

"Please Anita…be my friend…even if just for a minute." I whined. She considered it for quite a while before sitting on the bed with me.

"I have, but his heart belonged to another." She explained. I gave her a sympathetic frown.

"I'm sorry…did it hurt awful?" I prodded for more.

"Yes." She said quietly.

"How did you manage it? How are you able to wake up and feel purpose?"

"Well, for a very long time I did terrible things I was able to justify in my head as revenge or pity or anything. Then I sulked for a very long time and with the help of a secret medicine, I slowly worked myself back into a livable routine."

"A secret medicine!?" I perked up a bit. She was a bit taken back by my response but in another moment she smiled ever so slightly.

"If you come down stairs with me, I'll show you." I nodded and shuffled down the stairs with her at my side. She led me to the kitchen (which definitely didn't help repress memories of Lovi.) and opened the freezer. I watched as she pulled out a tub of ice-cream and fifty toppings from the cupboards. Instead of retrieving bowls, as I had expected, she just dug a spoon into the tug and pushed it my way.

"You take the chocolate chips and put one for every time you and your love kissed."

"On the lips?"

"Yes."

I dropped in two chips. Next, she handed me walnuts.

"One for every time you told them you loved them."

That one was hard. I couldn't tell the difference between thinking it and saying it. I put five as an estimate. Dammit, why hadn't I told him more often. She pushed over a large bag of colorful sprinkles.

"Next you count out everything you'll miss about them."

I stared at the bag for a bit before simply opening it and releasing thousands of colorful candies over the tub. They spilled onto the counter then onto the floor.

"There's not enough." I murmured and felt the hot salty tears begin to cascade.

Alita placed a hand on my back and rubbed in small circles. I looked over to the worried expression on her small face. She was a small girl with long straight hair. Her hair colored resembled Lovino's (though it could never be close) and she had similarly olive skin. She was kind…I could marry her. If I had to marry someone I didn't love, she seemed to be a worthy candidate. She deserved to live a life of wealth and comfort. Maybe this could work, I could make life keep moving. I took her face in my hands and pressed her lips to mine.

There was nothing. No love, she didn't even bother to kiss back. It was pressing of faces, nothing more. I separated and looked into her eyes that looked sadly back at me. Maybe I could talk her into the room with me, surely that would wipe away-

"I'm not the one you're making that ice-cream for, Antonio." She reminded me, interrupting my thoughts. I looked confusedly at her then the tub of ice-cream.

"I know you want me to be. You want to try and cover your lover but don't bother. I know from experience that it'll never work." Her voice was almost a whisper, cutting straight through my thoughts.

Tears pooled over. _Lovino_. I wanted to kiss _him_. I just wanted Lovino back, safely tucked into my arms were I could watch him and keep him protected from any pain. The ice cream didn't not last long.

Lovino's POV.

Officially two weeks had passed. My health was out the window, I didn't even bother with it anymore. My face had sunken and was now decorated with dark circles. I was withered into a pale form of bones. I wasn't a fan of eating, nothing tasted good anymore so my nutrition came from plants or trash scraps.

I had been helping in the church for the past three days, might as well make good with God, I figured. After I repaid all my sins, I could just give up on life and wait for Toni upstairs. I was sure I wouldn't be hungry or beat up in heaven. It seemed like a pretty good plan.

Today, I was sweeping all of the floors. We were preparing for a group of missionaries that were returning home after traveling the world and teaching the word of the lord to those affected by the war. Everybody was ecstatic. Nuns paced back and forth, fiddling with the smallest details. They were supposed to arrive in the morning but it was already late noon. I was behind the pews, scraping dirt up and moving it with my pile as I tried to ignore the mindless chatter.

"FRATELLO!" A voice screeched and echoed through the almost silent cathedral. I was about to turn and scowl at the intruder but I was abruptly embraced from behind. I fought my sudden entrapment and was surprised by the strength of the arms closed around me and the loud bawling.

The tiny frame shook and in a moment, his words hit me. He said fratello…that means brother…but I didn't have a brother. Right? I looked in silent shock at the little figure that trembled and clung onto me. His hair was a golden brown with a similar protruding curl that I had never seen on another human being. He wore a white robe and scarlet sash but he was still young. Maybe only one or two years younger than I.

"U-um…who are you?" I choked out. The cute, pouty little boy's face looked up at mine.

"Ah..M-my name is…Feliciano. Sorry. I kinda jumped on you, didn't I? I've been told I'm too excitable." He loosened his grip and whipped at his falling bubble tears.

"Nonno (grandfather)told me that my mama had another child and I heard that in this town, there was a boy who looked like me and even had a cowlick. So…uh…ciao…"

I considered passing out and my malnourished body would have made that quite easy but instead I just started at him in silence. A brother? He…he looked a bit like me and the curl was undeniably unique. Wow….just…wow…

"Sorry, this must be really knew, I should have been slower…I'm just…I'm so happy to see you alive!" The little one burst out in tears again. I nervously patted his head. He could be my brother…I wanted to roll those words over my tongue again and again. A **brother**. A sibling…I wasn't alone all of these years. This little boy could share my blood…_he could be my brother._

"You're mother…and father…?" I asked.

"Oh, Madre (mother) passed away of consumption. Nonno took me in her sickness to protect my health. Padre(father) followed a week later…our last name is Vargas…" He informed me.

I had a last name…I had a grandfather….and this little boy enjoyed all of those things while I was alone and scowling the streets…something burst in the pit of my stomach. It was a new pain, a pain named envy…and god it was strong. I bet he's fallen in love and can go back home to their rich embrace. I bet he's never felt heart break. I bet he gets multiple outfits and he's never pulled rotten fruit out of a dumpster. I bet's never been alone and confused. I bet he hasn't had to live with the guilt of killing another human being or ruining his love's life…

I hated him. I knew it was wrong but it was there. Now, he could just prance in here and act like it's all fine. **I** should have had what he had. **I** was first. He was living a life that was rightfully **mine**. He sensed my confusion right away.

"I'm sorry…I should have come for you sooner but I didn't know. I figured you'd have died.." He looked me over, seeing the awful state I was in. He didn't search for me…he didn't save me! I was as good as dead to him.

"But I'm here now! I see you! You're real and you're my brother!" he grabbed my hands tightly as I watch tears drift down his face.

"You're my _brother_…" He reminded me again. "Your name?"

"L-Lovino…Vargas." I stated the last name with slight pride. He hugged me tightly again. Geez, this kid had a hugging problem. He separated and showed me his giant smile.

"I've found you now…we can start our lives over together."

"Together?" I whispered.

"We're going to Germany in two days…I want you to come with me."

Antonio's POV.

Two weeks…two weeks since Lovino.

Me and Alita had continued to be friends though she denied it. I told her about Lovino and begged her to tell me if she saw Lovino when she went to the market. Everyday I had as little luck as the one before and I was wracked with nerves. What if he had been badly injured or kidnaped of killed? He wasn't safe unless he was in my arms! I can't trust anyone to take care of my Lovi! He's so fragile, he's easily hurt even when he keeps a stern face.

I read sometimes when I felt like being active. Oliver Twist was my favorite. I read it more than I read anything else. I loved that the poor little orphan got a happy ending. I was always crying once I finished. First, because of happiness then because Lovino might be curled up in a gutter somewhere.

One day, Alita came back and found me still sitting in the tub. She had told me to bathe when she was leaving but I never felt like getting out. The water had gotten cold half an hour ago. Whatever, I just watch the wall do nothing anyways.

"Antonio." She called. She had started calling me by my first name after I requested it. I looked at her curiously.

"You told me that this Lovino…he has a curl on the side of his head, right?"

Those were the exact words I wanted to hear. I burst out of the tub and grabbed a towl as fast as I could.

"You saw him!? You saw my little Lovi!? Is he okay? How does he look? What was he doing? Is he looking pale? Does he limp-" She cut me off.

"You didn't specify which one." She interjected and started rearranging the soaps.

"….What?" I weakly asked.

"Two boys with strange hair curls walking together. You didn't specify which on was Lovino."

"Two…? No…just one boy…"

"I'm not blind. Two boys, both with brown hair, arms linked. Both had strange hair curls. Maybe his brother? You didn't mention one but they're almost identical. The biggest difference was one was chirpy and the other just scow-"

"THE SCOWLING ONE! THE SCOWLING ONE!" I screamed and grabbed her shoulders. She gasped in surprise as I stared at her intently with wide eyes.

"He-he um…I don't remember much. They were just talking…something about leaving to Germany tomorrow…I think…" she nervously tried pulling out of my killer grasp. Not today. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo would not let this information pass him by.

"How did he look!?"

"Um…" she shut her eyes tight and racked her brain for information. "He scowled a lot, he was always angry. He was thin…um…bruises…?" She managed to pull out.

It was settled. Lovi was out there. It was confirmed. He was still out there and he needed me. Tonight I was done hiding.

I counted every minute lustfully. I just wanted the night to come faster. I could see it. I was going to hold Lovi again! I tried moping around so my happiness wouldn't caught and hopefully suspicion wouldn't arise. I'm bad at pretending. I was just _so_ excited!

Before Alita left to her room, she put her arm on my shoulder and begged me not to be stupid. Psh, yeah right. Lovi didn't call me "really fucking stupid" for no reason. I prayed for the moment he's call me an idiot again.

Finally, two in the morning. I looked out my window and saw the soft lights of the town. The window was of course locked but I found that if I pulled the eraser off a pencil and squished the metal clasp flat, it was functional as a screw driver. The window was off in minutes and I could feel could air rush into the room. Lovi was out there…I was going to see him. I looked at the bushes two stories down. I had tended those bushes and knew they could break my fall.

I lowered myself down till I was holding on with just my fingers then dropped, it didn't hurt too bad. It was nothing compared to the pain of being without Lovi so I brushed it off. I started walking.

Walking was harder than it had been two weeks ago, I guess it was just because I had been laying on my bed. I got sore easily and took plenty of breaks. It was six in the morning by the time I was finally able to reach the heart of the little bustling city(mainly because I fell asleep half way there). The sun was up and I was tiredly looking for a little cursing Italian. They were probably getting worried at home just about now which only encouraged me to look faster. They would come looking for me.

A shop keeper noticed me stumbling around and pulled me to the side. "Sir. Are you drunk?" she asked. She was quite pretty. She had shoulder length flaxen hair and a big bow tied to the side of it. She dried her hands against her apron then shook my weary shoulder.

"Sir? My name is Bella. Do you remember your name or where you live?" She shyly asked.

"I-I'm Antonio. Not drunk…I'm looking for two boys…w-with hair curls…" I made the hand motion to show the curl.

"Hmm…sir, are you a child molester?" She countered. I laughed dryly.

"N-no. I'm in love with the grumpy one." I whipered. That certainly perked her up.

"Oh! LOVI~ okay, okay, okay." She excitedly pointed to a little line of black cars across the street that were starting up their motors.

"He's leaving with the missionaries for Germany any second now. Go!" she shoved me their direction. My eyes widened. Lovi! He was across the street! And…he was leaving ! I began running as fast as I could and shouted his name like a madman. When I was only thirty feet away, the cars burst to life and drove off.

No…

He was _**this**_ close! I had him so close! My precious little Lovi! Mi amore-

"Are you giving up?" A sweet voice called from behind me. I looked back to see Bella jingling her car keys.

"Hell no." I said with the first real smile in two weeks.

(Short chapter, I'm sorry. This felt like a good place to stop. I apologize for my ridiculous amount of spelling errors. I'm working on fixing them. Thank you for reading.)


	7. Lonely for too long

Chapter 7.

WARNING: Foul mouth, profanities, offensive language and terms, religious themes. Y'know, the usual. I'm quite the rebel.

Antonio's POV.

A few weeks ago, I would have never believed I'd be in the passenger seat of a stranger's car (By the way, Bella drives like a fucking crazy woman.) and leaning the majority of my body out of the window so I could throw my shoes at a group of missionaries. Unfortunately, that was just such the case. Bella and I went speeding off after them, yelling my baby's name. She had made some evil, determined face that scared the hell out of me but I figured she had an adrenaline addiction or something.

The car jerked unsteadily. I could see the black vehicles in front of us but they were too far away! I chucked the second shoe but it landed a few feet short. Dammit!

Bella sighed. "There's candies in the glove box, throw those." She instructed. I opened the glove box to reveal dozens of little colorful pops on shiny wrappers. What a pig! I gave a little laugh and took a handful. One by one, I shot the at the back of the car. Only one or two managed to skim it.

He couldn't hear me! Damn it! What could I do!? I was just about ready to jump in front of that car to stop it from taking my Lovino away. (I see why my mother was worried now.)

"Toni, you said that was your name, right? Hold on for a second." I gripped hard on the open window. Suddenly, Bella's foot was unforgivingly pushing the pedal as far as it would go. The poor old car stuttered forward with a great eighty miles an hour, all it could hope to achieve. Soon we pulled up to the last car in the line and I began shouting franticly at it.

Bella's hunk-a-junk took to every pebble on the road viciously, jutting me around and slamming me into the sides of the window. I waved my hands and yelled till finally the man in the front looked over to me and slowed his car to a stop which we followed.

"Can I help you, brother?" he asked as he stepped out of the driver's seat. The other cars noticed the missing vehicle very soon and stopped as well.

"Lovino! You have a boy named Lovino with you and I need to speak with him!" I stuttered in gasped breaths. The man was confused for a few moments then held up a finger, asking me to wait a moment. We walked like a turtle up to the stopped cars and pulled open the door of every one, asking for the presence of a boy named Lovino. Finally, following his call, a scrawny little boy hoped out of the back of the farthest car and bitterly demanded to know why they had stopped. When I caught sight of him, my heart stopped.

Lovino. Even as raggedy as he was looking then, he was still as beautiful as I remember. The priest pointed towards me and Bella which caused him to go wide-eyed and stop in his tracks. He watched me for an unspeakably long minute. The priest got a bit worried and asked if he should make me go away but Lovino only shook his head slowly. He began to walk forward, keeping a slow pace.

"Lovino?" I asked quietly, wondering why he wasn't cussing me out or running to embrace me. He was just…walking. He got up to within a foot of me and started searching my eyes for something. I wasn't sure what he was curious about but I stared back with the same intensity.

"Why…why are you here?" he finally muttered through his breath.

"I ran away…" I answered sheepishly and smiled at him. Instead of being happy, he frowned and looked at his feet.

"You should go back now." His soft voice said. My heart cringed a bit but no way in hell was I giving up after coming this far. Not for _this_ boy.

"Lovi…I Don't want to go back if it means I can't be with you." I whined. His frown increased.

"Go back Toni." He demanded and bit his lip. "You have a home and family and fortune. You don't need to be here. Let's both agree this was a faze and let it go."

I grabbed a shoulder, making him jump a bit. "Bull shit, Lovi. You and I both know this is definitely not a faze."

He finally pried his eyes up to mine. They batted quickly to keep tears away. "Antonio, Listen to your mother, everything she said was true." He lazily shrugged towards the cars. "I have a brother and a grandfather now. I'm going to live out what is left of my life teaching other people how to live their own." He explained. I could feel the unwelcomed tears coming and his voice cracking.

"Common, you don't _belong_ there."

"Yeah? And I'm sure you can pin point exactly where I belong since it's so fucking easy. Well shit, if it were that simple, why did I spend all this god-forsaken time killing myself for an answer to that." Tears did break free this time and dribble one by one down his cheeks. I felt so awful, Lovi should never have to cry and I wasn't sure how to make it stop. I could try a cheer-up-charm, since it always worked on my little cousins.

"Oh, Lovi…Your face is too pretty to cry." I said with a smile and wrapped my arms around his little form. Surprisingly, he didn't fight me.

"I know why your afraid." A whispered into an his with a tease to my voice.

"I'm not afraid." He countered.

"Yes you are. You see, you're afraid of happiness." I explained calmly and sheltered him from everything else with my body.

"No one's afraid of happiness, that's stupid."

"_You_ are. You're afraid of when the hurt will come."

He was silent and I was prompted to continue. "You're afraid the tower will fall and leave you buried under all of its weight."

"I don't understand your metaphors. If you've got something to say, just say it already." I could hear a bit of hope float into his voice.

"I love you Lovino. I don't care what your last name is or how many sibling you have or whatever. I don't care who you were five years ago or six or seven. I the the Lovino that is right here right now and I love you with my whole heart." I confessed. Tiny arms lifted themselves against my back and hugged me. That was his confession and I knew it.

"This is so confusing…" He whispered. "I want you and I know I shouldn't have you but you want me and nobody else seems to so…where's the connection? When does this start to make sence?"

I smiled and pressed my lips to his. I can't imagine the reaction we were getting. Whatever.

"There." I said as I parted a second later. "Does it take any more?"

His big honey orbs watched me with feelings I couldn't quite decipher. Right then, I could only see him, it was like everything else had melted away into a mass of unimportant matters. I counted the colors in his eyes but found myself lost. Maybe it was better that way. His eyes could transport me right into his soul and suddenly I could every depth of the little Italian. A genuine smile kept up onto his usually scowling face.

"We're in deep shit now." He whispered. I laughed and hugged him tightly. I had him back and I swore to God I wasn't going to leave him ever again.

"Fratello!" I voice called to interrupt us. A springy little boy who resembled Lovino hopped over and took Lovi's shoulder.

"Fratello…who is this? How do you know him?" His squeaky voice showed his worry.

"Oh, uh. Feliciano, this is Antonio. Antonio, my brother." He made the introductions. I smiled wide and shook his hand whether he wanted me to or not. He seemed kinda afraid of me.

"Lovinito…Why were you kissing him?" His thickly accented voice questioned. He leaned into his brother and said it low like I couldn't hear.

"I love him, Feli." He explained equally low. I almost squealed out loud at his verbal confession. I knew I was going to fantasize this moment for the rest of my life. Alas, I remained silent so the brother could have a sort of private moment.

Feliciano gasped. "Fratello! The word of the lord strongly prohibits-"

"How the hell would you know that?" Lovino snapped at him.

"The-the bible…" He shuddered in shock.

"Was written by man. We don't know what he thinks."

"Lovino! Homosexuality is-"

"Love too." He seemed to be fond of breaking off his brother's sentances.

"Lovino! Stop doing that. You're acting like-"

"A child?"

"Lovino!"

I chucked and put a hand on feisty one's shoulder so that I might settle the bickering.

"You're name is Feliciano, right?" I asked the smaller one who looked more scared of me now. "I'm sorry. I'm not a girl and I doubt I ever will be." I explained. His confusion faded into a bit of an angry pout.

"I-I don't think we should be associating ourselves with you. Your confused." He took his brother's arm who ripped it away.

"Knock it off. You may be my brother but you have no right to judge me or my choices." Lovino hissed at the younger who stared back with sadness and confusion.

"Fratello…I don't get it…I don't understand…" he whimpered. Aw, I felt bad for the little one. He really was worried for his brother's soul and he didn't understand why his brother didn't agree. I smiled and ruffled his hair which he cowered away from.

"Chico, I don't think love holds form. Does God have form?"

"Um…no." he answered as if it might be a trick.

"And God is unconditional love, right?"

"Yes, oh goodness, I'm so confused…" He rubbed his temple and looked at the ground with such utter confusion.

"You love your brother, right?" I asked with a comforting voice.

"Si! I do!" he looked up at me.

"Then I'll make a promise to you right now."

"What kind of promise?"

I snatched his pinky in mine and looked into his eyes. "I promise I will never leave your brothers side. I'll always put him before myself and make sure he's happy. He'll never be hungry or cold or lonely. Is that okay with you?"

He searched my eyes for lies before nodding slowly.

"That's what you want for you brother?"

He nodded nervously again. "S-si…"

"So it's okay for me to love him?"

He nervously looked between me and the line of missionary cars. He was torn, I could tell. "Um….maybe?...I'm not sure."

"You don't need to be scared Feli, I would never intentionally hurt your brother. I'm going to take good care of him so…will you give him away to me?" I realized I was asking what a boy would ask a girl's father before purposing but it was pretty much the situation so it was fine.

He looked between me and his brother a million times before nodding.

"Good! I promise, I'm good for my word." I smiled and hooked an arm around Lovino's shoulder. Speaking of Lovino, he was red as a tomato. How cute~! Feliciano turned to his brother.

"I guess you should stay here then…I pray you do what's right." He said. Lovino nodded and patted his brother's head with affection.

"Visit church regularly and make sure to visit me and grandpa in Venice someday." He seemed a little sad to be losing his knew-found brother so soon. I sympathized with him. I'd have to remember to get the two together often.

"Yeah…I will. I'm gonna kinda miss you…um…I'll right you letters." Lovino offered, he wasn't real good at sentimental moments.

"Si, do. I..I uh…should probably get going now." Tears bubbled at the corners of Feliciano's eyes.

"Alright." Lovi answered before softly kissing his brother's forehead and watching him leave. Lovino probably wanted me to pretend I didn't see him cry but I did and I answered by wiping the wetness from his face. The cars left and I thanked them for having tinted windows that protected us from the judgment of other missionaries.

"Hello, beautiful." I turned to the Italian and greeted him properly. "It's been a while."

"We're in deep shit." He answered with a smile.

"I know." I responded as we just watched the cars slowly disappear.

"What about you? What that old lady have to say about it?"

"Aunty? Well…she was pretty pissed. Mama managed to convince her I was just a rebellious child and Aunty said we could get away with it if she was allowed to choose my wife."

"So you're getting married?"

"Hopefully."

He was quite after that response so I put a hand on his back and smiled. "But not to any of them." I clarified.

"Boys can't get married."

"It's been done in Australia."

"Kangaroos don't count."

"People."

"We'd still get 'special' treatment. Plenty people accused of being gay end up at the bottom of wells or floating down the river."

"Lovi, I thought I said to not mind those people."

"At best, you could come home with a broken arm and cigarette burns everywhere."

"Lovi, stop. I'm going to protect you."

"What about you? I couldn't protect you if a group of bastards wanted to gang rape you or chop off your-"

"That's enough Lovino." I said with a serious tone that instantly shut him up. I felt bad but he was only going to scare himself more by talking about it.

I stroked his hair gently, trying to ease those thoughts away. It wasn't like I was fearless. I was scared too but I wasn't going to let him worry over it.

"Mama will be here soon." I informed him. He turned stiff.

"I should leave." He whispered. I wrapped an arm around him so he couldn't go anywhere. I wasn't making that mistake twice.

"It's okay." I said reassuringly.

"I need to get back before someone robs my store so…wanna lift?" Bella suddenly offered. I had completely forgotten she was there. I quickly released Lovino and took his hand.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." I apologized nervously and pulled Lovino into the back seat with me. Bella got behind the wheel and soon the metal beast ruptured to life, which frightened Lovino. Nothing was better than having him back.

"You two certainly make a cute couple." She noted. Lovi flushed as I rested a hand on his knee which made me smile. I missed him so much. We went back to town and Bella went back to her bakery with our thanks.

"You want to take a walk before all hell breaks loose?" I offered, still holding his hand. He nodded and let me lead him. We passed around and looked into to shops. I'd ask him if he wanted anything but he instantly refused to let me buy him things every time.

"Want a dress?"I asked as we passed a dress shop.

"I'll be nice and pretend you didn't even ask that." He answered with a scowl.

"I dunno, I think you'd be cute. Red would suit you." I pushed further.

"That's weird, I was right when I called you a child molester."

"But I thought you said you weren't a child so…Lovi, Why'd you stop walking?" I tugged the hand I was holding but once I didn't get a response I turned to look at the boy standing frozen in place and staring ahead of us. I followed his gaze to a boy with bleached hair drinking out of a bottle in a paper bag and joking with his friends. I could only assume bad things about him.

"Lovi, who's he?" I asked. He looked at me with slightly scared eyes, sending me into a panic. That boy hurt Lovino, I could tell. I was ready to go beat him within an inch of life but refrained since I had the skittish Italian at my side.

"Common, we'll walk by real fast. Alright?" I offered and ran a hand though my thick chocolate locks. His face showed reluctance and his grip on my hand tightened. I noticed a white wrap pop out from under his sleeve. Had he hurt his wrist? I'd ask him about that later for now , I pulled him close and started walking. We got up to the boy and passed quickly.

I thought we were in the clear till I heard "Oi! Bambino!" Called from behind us. Lovino turned his head just enough to scowl. I didn't like this blonde one bit.

"What the _fuck_ do you want?" Lovino hissed. The boy laughed and swung his bottle around.

"I just want to hang out with my friend. So, this your boyfriend?" he snickered and nodded towards me.

"No, idiot! I'm not some faggot!" He growled.

"That's not what you proved last time we met." He said with a poison piercing his voice. In a moment I found the collar of his shirt wrapped around my fist and I was pinning him against the store front. Damn, I had lost control.

"What did you to do him?" I growled with a fierce intensity that don't remember ever using before. The coward instantly started panicking and calling for his equally drunk friends to help him. They tried prying me off the terrified boy but I was quite a bit stronger then them all. I turned round and met skin with the bone of my fist with instinct, knocking one to the ground. The violence prompted the other two boys to defend themselves and flail their limbs at me. I could hear Lovino yelling things in Italian behind me. Dammit, I was probably scaring him. I mounted my feet and swung around, taking out offenders over and over but not without receiving a few blows myself.

The madness didn't yield till a white car pulled up behind up and the demon herself stepped out and called my name angrily. Dammit, I was in trouble. I lowered my arms and looked at her with dear-in-headlights look that the other boys mimicked. She was _REALLY_ scary when we was angry and even scarier when her clicking heels started approaching. The offenders looked between each other before running off, leaving me and Lovino in the line of fire. She couldn't have picked a worse time to find me.

"ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO! What on god's Earth do you think you're doing?" She hissed as she stopped in front of me and whipped off her sunglasses and glared.

"I-I was scrapping with a couple of boys…" I whimpered truthfully and cowered under her fiery gaze.

"I can see that." She shifter her gaze to Lovino who was mortified. "It was because of you, wasn't it?" she deduced.

"No, Mama! I scrapped because I wanted to! None of this is Lovino's fault!" I defended him.

"Antonio, I'm trying to be a good mother! I'm trying my hardest to protect you but this boy is the only one in my way!"

"He's not in the way!"

"Look, I know you're fond of him. It kills me to make you so sad but I wouldn't be doing it I wasn't sure it was for the best. Mama just wants to help you-"

"I don't need your protection anymore! I'm not a baby!" I yelled and instantly regretted it because of the face she gave me. I had stabbed a knife through my own mother. She gasped lightly and placed a hand softly over her mouth. My stomach churned with an awful pain and I could to do nothing more than stare at my feet.

"Thank you…" A thick Italian accent chirped. Both of our attentions were led to Lovino who was trying to stand tall. "Thank you for taking such good care of Antonio. I would never worry about him doing something stupid when he's with you."

My mother seemed to be at a loss of words. She watched Lovino in awe.

"I really do worry about him but I know that no matter where he goes, he'll be protected. Heck, if my mother was like you, I would never have looked like this she'd have lifted a bus off me if the situation came to such." He nervously scratched his arm. I knew this whole being sentimental thing was really hard for him. She looked back and forth between the two of us. Lovino opened his mouth and gave it another try.

"I know I'm no good for him. Everything bad that's happened to him in his life was because of me but he doesn't seem to acknowledge that. There's nothing I can do to help him but please…uh…" He took a deep breath and shuffled his feet a bit. "Just um…please…know that…I love him…with everything I have." He refused to make eye contact with either of us as he muttered "That's all."

My mother's face flattened, I couldn't read her at all but she watched Lovino closely.

"Lovino." She finally started and took two steps towards him. He responded by looking at her with a scared expression as if she would hit him.

"You're selfish and rude and fast to act to impulse. There's not much I like about you…but I do like your two's passion for each other. If I put you two in medal crates on the opposite sides of the globe, I have no doubt in my mind that you two would manage to reunite. I may not condone it, but you _are_ in a relationship with my son and he loves you madly. That's something I'll never be able to control." With that, she turned her back and began to walk away. We watched her, stunned.

"Common, we're going home now." She announced and it took me a moment to realized she meant the _both_ of us. I excitedly grabbed his hand and tugged him with me into the car. On the way home, the rules were initiated.

"One, I must be informed every time you two leave the house." We nodded to every rule. I think Lovino was to terrified by the woman.

"Two: neither of you will go to sleep of leave the house during a fight.

Three: There will be no frisky nonsense what-so-ever. If you have a 'problem', you will take care of it on your own, respectably. (Lovi turned red because of this.)

Four: You two will not be in each other's room past twelve.

Five: You two will be making me breakfast in bed for two weeks."

We arrived home soon and I was possibly the happiest I had ever been. I excitedly agreed to every term and condition and ran inside with Lovino and dragged him up to my room. Once we were inside I shut the door and tackled him into a rough hug which made us topple on the bed but hell if I care I held him and cried. I was so in love with him and now I could just keep him safe in my arms. God…don't let this moment end.

Our breaths began to move to the same beat and he closed his eyes, obviously enjoying my hold. "You better not get me in trouble." He whispered. I smiled and nuzzled my nose into the rich locks.

"Are you smelling my hair?" his voice wasn't accusing, just soft and loving.

"You could use a bath." I whispered back jokingly which earned me a grumble of defiance.

"I'm kidding, lo siento."I said and pressed my lips to his neck gently.

"This counts as frisky nonsence."

"I'm just kissing you, nothing else." I defended and did it again.

"While we lay and hug on the bed." When he said it like that, yeah, sorta. I responded by lifting him off the bed so we were both standing and kissed him on the lips. Less frisky that way! He didn't fight me and kissed me back for a few silent minutes before pushing me away.

"That's enough." He said and looked at the wall to hide his prominent blush. I laughed and kissed his cheek. He was a perfect stranger at the beginning of the month and now he was my everything.

"But we missed Valentines Day! We have to celebrate some how."I whined.

"Fine…whatever. What do you have in mind? Nothing gross." He replied.

"I wanna bake a cake!" I exclaimed. I saw him trying to figure out if 'bake a cake' had a secret meaning but decided it was innocent.

"Alright, we'll bake a cake like sissies." He finally gave in and slipped his fingers nervously into my hand. How sweet! I love him~

I took him down to the kitchen and helped him pull out ingredients, most of which he told me we wouldn't need. I argued that they would taste good but apparently, there's no such thing as tomato cake. He pushed a bowl and wisk into my arms though I had never cooked before in my life.

"First me make the dough." He explained.

"When do we get to frost it!?" I asked with excitement coating my voice.

"At the very _end_." He explained and began to crack eggs into the bowl.

"Wait! So I can't put tomatoes in there but you can put chicken in!?"

"Shut up. This is just how you make cake! Okay?" He growled and began scooping flour in.

"You would look adorable in an apron." I noted and puckered my lips. He responded my pushing my face away and trying not to smile.

"Just mix the ingredients, okay?" He scolded and moved onto butter and sugar.

"I dare you to eat a spoonful of sugar." I said and mixed.

"That's gross." He answered and went back to work.

"Cause you're a chicken." I giggled. He scowled at me and insisted he wasn't a chicken until I made chicken clucks at him and he got angrier.

"How do I know _you're_ not the chicken!?" He accused.

"Cause I'm not scared. I'll eat sugar anytime."

"Then _DO IT_!" he retorted.

"_You _do it first." He tormented.

"Whatever, fuck head! I'm not some whiney sissy face!" He dug a spoon into the jar of sugar and shoved it into his mouth with one swift move. Priceless face. He scrunched up and tried to swallow the sticky chunk of sweetness that wouldn't seem to go down. He swallowed roughly and managed to slick it down his throat.

"There! You're turn!" He said and shoved the spoon at me. I _am_ good on my word so I did the same and experienced the same difficulties. My mouth pooled with saliva and tried to force the overly sweet sand down. I eventually succeed and was rewarded with the laughs of the Italian boy.

After mixing the dough, we put it in the pan and then into the oven. It smelled delicious as it baked and I begged to take it out and eat it many times in the process but Lovino insisted we cook it all the way through.

It came out but still I had to wait for it to cool. I didn't know it took so long! It was agonizing but it was totally worth it when I finally convinced him to let me feed him a bite. he denied It took a million times but my pleas were finally heard and he bit off my fork.

Maybe this time it would last. I could teach him guitar and politics and everything. I looked at the boy across the table. He was back now and I wasn't letting go again. Lovino looked back up at me and smiled a little bit. Yup, this was heaven, this was how I belonged.

(FYI: Not the end. More chapters to come! Thanks!)


	8. Beginning of the future

Chapter 8.

(Can you believe it!? Almost thirty followers! Thank you, everybody! All of the usual warnings and everyone _knows_ I don't own Hetalia.)

Lovino's POV.

After that cake, two days just drifted by. He asked me about my wrist and I told his the nuns bandaged it for me after I tripped on an open pew. The nun part was true at least. He tried to teach me the guitar a few times but gave up once my fingers started to bleed. Antonio, on the other hand, had calloused his fingers long ago and now he could play like magic. I would rather just sit in the garden and listen to the melodies than try to recreate them with choppy chords.

Maybe music wasn't my thing but I caught onto juggling like flies to honey. I made Antonio jealous when I figured out how to catch behind my back and toss from under my leg. I guess years of pick pocketing paid off when it came to having quick hands. When it was my turn to trade skills, we went into the wooded area a few blocks away and caught a rabbit. Antonio was very proud of himself but unfortunately, Mama was less than pleased. Instead of cooking it as I had wanted to, she made us dig a whole and burry 'the poor think'. I laughed a bit at that. It wasn't a 'poor thing', it was food! Duh!

I learned it was _not_ okay to eat the flowers in the garden or suck on pebbles. All edible things were kept in the kitchen. Everything I used to do was now prohibited. No bathing in the river, there could be diseases. No napping outside, I would get cancer. No using 'the facilities' outside either. None of them really made sense to me but every time I took a step, maids were right beside me to correct me. It was really frustrating! I was trapped in this big marble castle of rules and behaviors!

The final straw was plucked when a maid named Alita told me we couldn't store food after finding me packing cans under Antonio's bed.

"Why the hell not!" I growled and hugged a can of beans to my chest. She had become immune to my swearing.

"We are humans, not squirls. No matter what time of the year it is, there will always be plenty of food in the kitchen." She explained.

"What is something happens to that food?! You'll be thanking me when the family survives because of my thinking ahead."

"Nothing will happen to that food and if somehow it all disappeared over night, we will simply purchase more."

"Psh. Rich people." I snarled and turned the can in my hands a few times. It was perfectly good food that could be hidden and saved, better safe than sorry, right?

"Would you rather I tell Antonio you've been stocking his room?" She asked. Dammit! That would be embarrassing. If he didn't think I was a stupid street rat before, he definitely would when he found out about this.

"No…" I grumbled and set down the can. "I'll take them out…" I said with a bit of anger to my voice. I wasn't liking this place. I tried to do something good and this was how I was repaid!

"And the ones in your room." She said.

"Yeah, I'll get those too." I answered as one by one, I shimmied cans out.

"_And_ the ones buried outside _and_ the ones behind the washing machines _and_ the ones in the towel closet_ and _the ones under the stairs." She said .I nodded. Apparently, the lack of cans had become evident. God, this place was suffocating. Never in my life had I felt so controlled, I hated it.

I spent the rest of the day digging the cans out and putting them back in the pantry. Antonio insisted he wanted to help and I let him but I refused to tell him why the cans were hidden.

"Antonio…don't all of these rules bother you?" I asked as I stocked the cans into neat buildings in the pantry.

"Rules? What rules?" He asked and handed me cans. It was obvious that this was just a way of life for him, he had never really known pure freedom like I had.

"Y'know, like when to be in bed, how to eat your food, what to wear. That kind of stuff."

"Those aren't really rules, Lovi. That's just how we live." He explained.

"What about when you want to do something on your own? Don't you ever kinda just want to…be your own boss?"

"But I am the boss, Lovi. I don't understand what you're talking about." He said.

"Nothing. Forget it." I answered and took a can from him.

"Tomata, what's on your mind?" He asked, using the name I had denied but learned to accept.

"It's alright, forget it." I repeated and felt an arm hooked around my waist, cradling me back into a hold I couldn't help but snuggled back into a little bit.

"Lovino, tell me what's wrong." He whined. I knew he just wanted me to be happy and I felt really bad for not being able to appreciate the home he was offering to me. I had everything! Food, heat, shelter. Everything and still…It held be down, repressed me and made me feel weak.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I said. Antonio would be hurt if I told him how I actually felt.

"Please? I can see you're uneasy. I want this place to be comfortable for you but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's wrong." His other arm wrapped over my torso and held me close, trying to get me more relaxed.

"I…I miss being free." I admitted quietly.

"But you _are_ free here." He explained. I shook my head.

"Not like I used to be. I don't know." I answered .

"Tell me Lovi, I'll fix it." He prompted. His buttery voice once again entranced me into spilling my guts. Damn him.

"I used to run free and do what I want. I ate when I wanted, slept when I wanted and made my own decisions but now…I've just lost all of that." I said in a low voice. I felt so ungrateful and selfish. was right about me.

"Ahhh….I see…It _is_ quite the sacrifice…"

"Forget it, I'm okay."

"No you're not Lovi. You're a tough kid. If you were really okay, you wouldn't have said anything." I ignored the fact that he called me a kid.

"Are you wishing you had gone with your brother?" He asked.

"No, no." I answered without hesitation. "I…I just feel like a piece of furniture. All I do if follow you around without really a life of my own…It's pathetic."

"You're not pathetic." He countered and nuzzled me. "You're amazing…but you're wild. I can't cage you, can I?" I didn't answer.

"But…I can't let you go…" He said. "I don't know what to do…"

"You don't have to do anything. I'm alright." I told him. It was a lie, I wished I had never said anything at all.

"Lovi…I've been thinking for a while that maybe it's time to leave the nest." He said. That was definitely the last thing I expected to hear. Not from Antonio. Antonio loved his mama and his fields and the entire house.

"No Antonio, you can't do that." I told him. This was definitely my fault.

"Maybe it's time. Lovi, you and me could have our own house on the country side and we could do anything we want. We could make our own rules and we could have a tomato field and we could cook our own meals every night." He said. As amazing as that sounded…I still couldn't let Antonio give up everything he had.

"What about your mother?" I asked. It would kill both of them to leave.

"I don't know…I wouldn't want her to be alone. She's taken care of me her whole life and it's only right to do the same but I want to have a life with you…" I didn't know how to respond to him or what to tell him so I leaned back and cuddled into him. He began to brush my hair with his fingers, a sign of relaxation for him.

"I love you...I want to make sure you know that." He said.

"I do." I answered.

"Then everything will be alright. I'll talk to Mama soon."

I frowned, I didn't want him to sacrifice like that for me. A bright puppy face looked at me, studying me with shining emerald eyes.

"Everything will be alright in the end. If it is not alright, it is not yet the end." He informed me. [I stole that line] I smiled a little bit and kissed him quickly before wriggling out of his hold and putting away the last can.

I turned to face the Spaniard but was swooped up by him and he began waltzing us across the floor. Because this had happened before, I knew he didn't feel like letting go so I managed to stumble around and move with him. This was so stupid, _he_ was stupid. Still, I was wooed like a teenage girl. What had happened to me? I was such a sissy.

"Aunty Esta will have to find out about this some time." He reminded me. Ugh, that devil sent shivers down my spine. I could only imagine what she'd do to us when she find out.

"Maybe it's better that we move out so mama doesn't get effected in her rage fit. If we break off all together, mama can't be cut from the business." He said.

"Can we even take care of ourselves? Neither of us have jobs."

"I'm sure Mama would help us with the intial purchase of the house."

"Toni. She still hates me." I pointed out. It was true, she tried to ignore me when we passed, sometimes she'd send me a glance or say 'hello' but that was it.

"She's not going to let me live in a dumpster though. With or without you."

"Yeah…That's true…"

"She has lots of maids to take care of her plus Ava who's practically her best friend…maybe this is okay…we can do this."

"If you think so. It's up to you." I said. We stopped dancing and he stroked my cheek repeatedly with two fingers.

"This is right. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. I know it." He smiled tenderly.

"Do you want me to be with you when you talk with your mother?" I was praying the answer was no but unfortunately, he nodded.

"Do you want to do it now?" I asked. Again, he nodded. Damn. I let him lead me to his mother's office. When he opened the door, she looked up and seemed a bit surprised to see me tugged behind her son.

"Antonio?" She asked, wondering our reason for intruding. Antonio led me over to the leather chair and sat be down beside him.

"Mama, me and Lovino want to move out." He stated. Wow…he was not one to work his way in gently, was he?

"Wait…since when?" she asked in shock.

"We decided on it a few minutes ago."

"Well, Antonio. That's a decision that takes more than a few minutes to decide. What's wrong here?"

"Nothing Mama, I love this house but this is your life and I think I'm ready to start my own now."

She sighed. "Antonio, you're not ready for such a step in your life. As your mother, I have to advise that you stay here for at least a year or two .Get a stable income"

" Me And Lovi will make it work and this way, Aunty Esta will have no business with you, right?"

"That's not what this is about, she'll get over herself. What brings this up so suddenly? Don't lie to me." She warned. I looked between the two, nervously.

"We're ready to start our lives together."

"You've known each other, what? Like, a few days? Antonio, this is too soon."

"Please? I'm already twenty-four. I'm getting no younger."

"Still. You're two boys living together. That's going to bring things up in society and Mama's not there to protect you."

"We'll get a house in the country where we can be alone."

"Antonio, this is a lot of news at once. Can't we just wait it out? Maybe you'll change your mind."

Antonio shook his head and took my hand, squeezing it hard. "I know, I know. But I'm ready now. I'm going to get a job and learn how to clean."

dropped her head in her hands and thought. "When people said children grow up fast…I never expected it like this…"

"I love you. I don't want to hurt you but-"

"I know baby. I should have been preparing myself for this for years…"

"Mama?" He asked and was answered with a long silence.

"Is that what you really want?" She asked in a weary voice.

"Si! It is."

"God…I won't be able to watch you. If something happened overnight, I wouldn't know till it was too late…"

"I'll be okay." He said reassuringly.

"No matter what you think, you're still my baby."

"I know…"

"And you're positive this is what you want to do with your life? Positive, bambino?" this time she made harsh eye contact.

"Si." He answered and squeezed harder on my hand. It was beginning to hurt.

"Then…fine. Alright. But I have ultimate say over where you live and how often I can visit. I'm putting a phone in every room and you will not miss a single call. Got it!?" She asked in a stern voice.

"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Antonio lunged across the table and hugged his tired mother who patted his back.

"Mama loves you, mi bambino." She whispered.

[I'm sorry everybody! I'm suffering writers block so I'm going to stop here before I write some tired junk but it's possible I've already done that. Again, sorry. Fear not, I'll fill up the rest of this chapter with some dumb one-shot or something. I wouldn't stop just like that. So, here! Enjoy.]

BLOG FAIRY

(A short, purposeless, intermission story.)

[Chibi-fairy romano x Spain]

I pulled the swivel chair under me and let my body fall onto the cushion. I, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, was once again going to update my blog like I did every week but this week I had a little extra to write about. I pushed my finger into the power button and felt the laptop take a breath of life. Such a sweet sound. I turned my attention to the cup of hot, Starbucks coffee and fiddled off the protective cardboard cover. I smiled. That's how I liked it, It made me feel like a rebel. I didn't need their cover, my hand could take the heat.

The screen lit up and my fingertips began to glide across the keys effortlessly. I logged in, using "potato" as my password. Nobody would ever guess that as my password. I was so clever. My blogged opened and I hit the button titled: "Update." and began to tap letters.

**Hola, my loyal readers!**

**As always, I have prepared hints, tips and notes for you all but this week I have an extra special topic. Here are some things you'll want to know if you happen to stumble into the same situation as I have. Enjoy!**

**1. Fairies are real and quite adorable.**

**2. They are invisible to the human eye (That is, unless you happen drop your contact into a puddle that a cute little fairy boy was crying into.)**

**3. Don't freak out or comment on his pointy teeth, he'll curse you out or try to bite you. It hurts.**

**4. If you do end up freaking out, (I said not to.) then he'll get scared and probably start to cry again.**

**5. If he starts to cry again, you'll feel really crappy and give him the only thing in your way-too-hipster messenger bag, which might be a tomato.**

**6. If it is a tomato, he'll be overly pleased and snatch it up without hesitation. **

**7. Odds are, you'll be enthralled by curiosity and you'll want to take the new discovery home with you.**

**8. He won't want to go home with you.**

**9. In fact, to prove his point he'll call you every swear word in the book.**

**10. He'll be a lot more willing to visit your house if you tell him you have a tomato garden.**

**IF YOU MANAGE TO TAKE HIM HOME:**

**1. You will realize very quickly that he is narcoleptic. No matter what he's doing and where, he'll manage to fall asleep.**

**2. Don't try to wake him, serious consequences will follow. (including the pulling of hair.)**

**3. He'll be hungry when he wakes up.**

**4. He can eat like there's no tomorrow. Feed him tomatos, poptarts, hot dogs, and yogurt. If you offer him a potato, he'll throw it at you.**

**5. He's like a toddler. He'll need you to give him things to do all the time or he'll leave. Give him things to color on (but keep an eye on him because he'll draw on anything, including his skin.)**

**6. If you offer to take a bath with him, be prepared for him to call you a pervert.**

**7. Try to reason with him by reminding him how young he is, which makes it okay but he'll insist he's older than he looks (yet, he won't tell you how old he is).**

**8. With much arguing, you might manage to get him into the tub. He'll have a bit of baby pudge but don't comment on it or he'll send you out of the bathroom.**

**IF HE AGREES TO STAY THE NIGHT:**

**1. Fairies can be hurt by the morning sun. I have no idea why but you'll notice this when you find him sizzling on the couch in the morning.**

**2. Offer him to sleep on your bed since you probably put the good curtains in there.**

**3. Surprisingly, he will accept!**

**4. You will be spending the night on the couch.**

**5. Regardless, make sure you put long pajamas on him as well as gloves and long socks.**

**IF YOU TEACH HIM HOW TO USE THE LAPTOP: **

**1. He will not understand the concept of 'technology' at all.**

**2. He will probably start screaming when words appear on the screen just because you pushed buttons.**

**3. Once you calm him down, you can teach him how to play games on the Disney website.**

**4. If you hear a loud crash noise from the kitchen, don't assume it's nothing and try to brush it off. You know for a FACT that it's not nothing.**

**5. You will probably find the laptop in three pieces on the ground.**

**6. Really, really try not to yell at him. He'll cry and say that the devil computer cheated on the game then you'll feel like shit for making him cry again. (Even if he deserves it.)**

**7. You'll probably have to use all of that money you were saving for car repairs to purchase a new laptop. (Fear not, it will be worth it.)**

**8. When at Best Buy, he'll hold your hand because he secretly feels pretty bad about what he did, even if he believed the computer was the devil.**

**9. People will probably stare at you for talking to yourself. Girls will point and laugh, mothers will lead their children away.**

**10. Pick up pop tarts on your way home, you've long since run out and he'll only eat the cinnamon ones.**

**IF HE MENTIONS HIS BROTHER:**

**1. Don't ask more than one or two questions about said brother, he has inferiority issues.**

**2. Because he's desperate for attention in this state, use this opportunity to ask his name. You may have asked before but the only answer he'd give you was 'Lucifer, King Of Magic Kind' and you can definitely rule that out of possible names.**

**3. What he will tell you, will be the most beautiful name you've ever heard but best keep that to yourself.**

**4. From then on, make sure you compliment him on being big and manly and remember not to bring up the subject of his brother. He'll probably be a bit kinder to you from then on.**

**IF YOU TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM.**

**1. He'll throw a fit.**

**2. He'll curse at you for being a liar and trying to pick on him.**

**3. Deny these accusations and make it know that you find him to be the most interesting being you've ever met.**

**4. He'll probably turn deep red (which is really cute~) and demand to know why the hell I would like him.**

**5. Tell him how unique you think he is. Tell him how you like his smile and like his spunk. Make sure he knows you see a good, exciting character behind his rough exterior.**

**6. He'll more than likely turn redder than a tomato and walk off, saying he wants to take a bath and cursing at you for being such an idiot.**

**7. Use this time to change the sheets he wet.**

**IF YOU TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM:**

**He might decide to stay a little longer. (Best of luck you you.)**

I clicked the "Save update" button and pulled down the screen of my new laptop. The silence in the room was quickly replaced with a tired grumble and a thump. When I turned around, I found the little fairy on the ground along with the blankets that used to be on the couch.

"Are you don't writing that stupid blog?" The hoarse voice asked and he rubbed the crick in his neck.

"Yeah. You want me to make dinner, Lovi?" I asked and smiled at him.

"Duh. I'm starving." He complained and took a chug of my coffee which he had grown quite fond off.

"That's my coffee." I whined and watched him hoard it with both hands clenched around protectively.

"I can have it?" He asked. I smiled and ruffled his hair before giving him the coffee as a reward for asking. It was a new skill for him and he was learning more every day. He followed me to the tiny apartment kitchen and sat in a chair, watching me and telling me about the things he did that activities consisted of (attempted)cleaning, drawing, sleeping, eating and bullying other kids when I took him to the park before my shift at work.

"Someday, I'll be grow up." He mentioned.

"Will you?" I asked and kept cutting tomatoes.

"Duh! Fairies grow up too."

"How quickly?"

"Depends. If two fairies fall in love, they'll age together and usually live about a hundred years. If a fairy falls in love with a different species, they'll age with their mate and live as long as the other does."

"So if you and me fell in love, you'd grow up to about my age?"

"THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY!?" He hissed "GOD! YOU'RE SUCH A FUCK'N PERVERT!"

"I'm just trying to understand." I said in my defense.

"Yeah, that's how it works." He growled. "Are you getting ideas?"

I laughed. "Of course not. How do you like your tomato sauce?" I asked to change the subject.

"Chunks of tomato, no visible onion." He answered.

**Hola! So, another week has passed and another update is due. Here are my new tips:**

**It'll take a hell of a lot to convince him that you mean it when you say you love him but god, it is worth it. He might just feel the same.**

[Okay, it was cheezy, I know. Sorry, if you hated it but I promise a full chapter of You Belong With Me in about four days. Thank you every one!]


	9. Little Place

Chapter 9.

(Wow guys, I am SO sorry about last chapter. I've got a bit of 'the dead writer's bug' but I promise, I'll try my very best to do this chapter well. Hopefully, if I'm up for it, I can re-write last chapter. I'm not real proud of it. Anyways, thank you if you've made it this far. All of the usual warnings.)

Lovino's P.O.V.

So that's how it went down. I was astounded when that first happened, I really didn't believe it could be that easy. I was dead right. Mrs. Carriedo had me staring at home and garden magazines for hourse so I knew what a good house should look like and I could run one with Antonio.

God, I wasn't getting used to that idea at all. Having a home with Antonio…were we would _live_…as a _couple_! It was…such a foreign subject that I had settled to not think about it too much. This could be a simple thing, right? One home, two people. Simple! No…not really.

I sighed loudly and flipped another page in the latest magazine. Mrs. Carriedo had insisted I do this in her office, while she was there, no less. She said it was so I could ask questions and not get distracted but I'm almost positive it was just an excuse to glare at me from time to time and secretly curse at me for stealing her son with such ease. It wasn't my fault! I _tried _to separate from him but _he_kept finding me! It wasn't my fault he was persistent as hell. It was her fault she hadn't thought him about stranger danger.

"What do you think about that one?" She asked. It wasn't till then that I noticed her standing over my shoulder and looking into the magazine. Shit! It was a quiz, she'd been throwing these my way since we started this whole 'leaving-the-nest' fiasco about a week ago. I studied the picture heavily for flaws but it looked fine to me. Windows that lock, thick wooden door, tiled floors, kitchen far from the bedrooms. Perfect by her standards.

"It seems pretty good to me." I said with an unsure whine to my voice. Her finger instantly shot down and pointed at the picture.

"The door step is too high and the divots in the tile are too deep. Someone could trip and break their head opened." She pointed out. I knew perfectly well that when she said 'someone', she meant her precious son.

"I don't think we'll be finding any houses with pure marble floors." I answered a little bitterly. I tried so very hard to be polite with her but I always found my usual hostility creeping in.

"Well, maybe it is best that you two remain here." She offered with obvious annoyance.

"Maybe it is best that we reconsider the dangers of tile floor divots." I sneered and she gave me a good scowl before returning to the leather seat that she had tucked into the mammoth mahogany desk that was flooded in papers.

"Lovino, remember that he was my son before he was your 'friend', I know what's good for my son." She reminded me and began scribbling things down.

"Yes mam." I said and continued to browse the waxy pages of the thin pamphlet for the next hour.

"LOOOVI~" A voice called and I could hear dress shoes tap through the halls in search of me. I decided to ignore it and let him find me on his own. He could use the excursive anyways, since I started cooking he started eating a lot more.

After a few minutes and many confused footsteps later, the door behind me opened and the Spaniard happily sat beside me.

"Hey! I found you! I was starting to get worried I wouldn't." He explained

"I don't run away that often." I retorted simply and kept my eyes on my magazine though I had no interest in it anymore. He thought about my answer for a while then gave up on it and leaned close to me.

"Anyways, I was just outside practicing hand fishing like you showed me," Mama shot me a glare. "And I saw this _really_ cool fish! It was completely blue but it's gills turned green when the sun hit them! I wanted to catch it for you but it bit me and got away." He proudly showed me a little pink suckle mark on his hand. Mrs. Carriedo was about to throw a fit (over nothing) but I acted first by taking the injured hand and standing up.

"We can rinse it off in the sink." I said and lifted my lips a bit. he excitedly hoped up and jumped to my side.

"With soap!" Mama called as we were leaving the room and making our way to the kitchen.

"Must have sucked quite hard to make a mark like this." I commented and smiled.

"You could tell!?" He whined.

"I've been bitten by fishes plenty of times. So tell me, why are you lying about fish bites?" I asked.

"I wouldn't call it lying really. The part about the blue fish was true and the rest was to give you a break from Mama. I know she can be tough some times." He said and ruffled my hair which I responded to by smacking his hand. I led his to the kitchen and rinsed the hand anyways. Might as well, he'd been touching fish all day.

"I was out there a long time but I didn't manage to catch any. You make it look so easy." Antonio said and sighed.

"You'll get it someday. I had to learn too." I reassured him and noticed I was now washing his hand _for_ him so I pulled my hands away. He wasn't a baby. (Now, if we could convince his mother of this.) He granted me a toothy smile and finished washing his hands.

"We should find a good hiding place unless you want to be looking at other people's homes for the rest of the day." Toni suggested. I nodded in agreement and after much wandering, (Accompanied by the accusing eyes of the help), we found a quiet cove in the back of the garden were tools were kept but was nearly empty at the time.

"We're not staying here the rest of the day, are we?" I complained and tried to make myself comfortable on the wooden floor.

"Why not? It's quiet and no one will ever find us here."

"Cause it's cold. Can't we hide inside?" I tried to protest and squeeze myself into the corner to preserve heat.

"Not's not so cold when heated by our soaring love~" He said smoothly and puckered up.

"What the hell is with you!? Don't give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself." I hissed and made a bag of soil my new boyfriend by cuddling up to it.

"Lovi, isn't it magical? How one's heart can beat with such passion?" He said with his accent thick, ignoring my protest.

"Shut up. For once, stop being a dog in heat and just have a conversation with me."

He frowned. "Lo siento Lovi~ Can I at least hold you so you don't freeze?"

I shot him my usual scowl and contemplated a bit. "Fine…but hands around the stomach. Got it, touchy?"

He nodded and pulled me into his lap. " So, what do you want to talk about?"

"I dunno."

"How about the house? What kind of house would you like?"

"I dunno."

"Common Lovi, that's not true. You've been looking at home and garden magazines for the past week. You must have some idea of what you're looking for." He said. Dammit, the idiot knew everything. (Ironic, I know)

" Um…okay well. I was kind on imagining a little house with a big field and lots of shady places to nap. A river and forest would cut down on the cost of food and you could go swimming. It would also be cool to have some hills or mountains."

"That's lovely Lovi~" The bigger man purred and rested his head on my shoulder.

"What about you?" I asked and rested a hand on the arm wrapped around my waist.

"Hmm… A nice room for just us (Which his mother would never allow), a big kitchen with lots of windows and a big porch. Perfect." He smiled and nuzzled his head against mine.

"Won't you miss house keepers and care takers?" I asked.

"No." He answered, not even bothering to think about his answer.

"But you'll have to learn how to clean and cook and work."

"I can do that." He replied with a grin I could practically feel.

"It's not quite that easy."

"That's why I have you to teach me! I'll teach you about taxes and balancing a check book and budgeting."

"That's math stuff, isn't it?"

"Yes Lovi, math stuff."

"You know I don't like math."

"You don't know that, you wouldn't let me get past multiplying double digit numbers."

"Cause they're dumb."

"Things you don't understand aren't dumb."

"Things I say are dumb are dumb."

"Oh really? What else to you consider dumb?"

"You."

"What else?"

"Um…dates."

"Well you haven't been on one before, have you? So how do you know they're dumb?"

"Cause I see people on dates all the time and they're all the same. The girl latches onto the boy's arm. He holds the door open for her and she blushes. They eat pasta, then say some flirty giggly shit, then leave just as they came."

"I should take you on a date!"

"I already said they're stupid."

"I'll make it not stupid."

"No."

"Aww, please?"

"No."

"Consider it?"

"Fine, I'll consider it."

"Thank you, mi tomata~"

"How about, you go get a job then we'll date to celebrate."

"Deal! I'll do that tomorrow, okay?"

"Well give it some thought, idiot. What do you think you can do?"

"Um… I could sell newspaper!"

"You'd get ripped off or mugged."

"I could…sell make up door to door?"

"Someone would shoot you because of your god-forsaken persistence."

"I could…cook?"

"You could wait."

"Wait for what?"

"No, stupid. Wait on people at restaurants, flash them a big, goofy smile and collect the tips. You get a little note pad too so you don't screw up orders. It's perfect for you."

"You're right! That sounds like lots of fun! And you could cook!"

"No, I don't work with other people. I'll run machines or clean or something."

"But you're such an amazing cook!"

"But people hate me."

"I don't hate you. In fact quite the opposite."

"Thanks but that doesn't help."

"Maybe I could get you a good spot in the family business."

"No thanks. Hey, What's your family business anyways?"

"Oh…I don't know actually."

"Stupid! What if you just offered me a position in prostitution?"

"Oh common, It's not prostitution."

"It could be."

Antonio laughed and stood up, helping me up with him before opening the shed door and letting the dimmed light pool in. I squinted at first but Antonio made sure to stand in the way of direct sun. He was kind of sweet like that…okay, really sweet.

We went back inside and parted ways. I went up to my room to read a book Antonio gave me called 'Oliver Twist' which was really hard. I could read but I didn't know all of these big words and the style of English was old. Princess, on the other hand, galloped on his merry way to I-don't-know-were.

Antono's P.O.V.

I knocked gently on the door of my mama's office and a voice inside invited me to continue. I went in and sat. I felt bad after souring our relationship.

"Hola Mama!" I greeted happily.

"Hola, mi bambino." She greeted back, looking up from her papers momentarily.

"So…I read that book you gave me for my birthday…" I said, nervously trying to make conversation.

"Did you? Well that's good. How'd you like it?" She asked, keeping her focus on the papers.

"It was good! Did you know Francis read the same book! He loved it too."

"Oh did he? Well good. I didn't think that boy took interest in thinks other than genitals."

I laughed at that and apologized for my friend's past behaviors. A long, awkward silence followed. The silence was only interrupted by my mother's pen scraping against crisp papers.

"What'chya doing?" I finally spit out and rocked in my chair.

"Work." She answered and scribbled more.

"What kind of work?" I clarified.

"Business work. Don't worry about it, baby." She smiled at me for a moment.

"The family business?" I asked with a little more interest, hoping it was not prostitution.

"Yes. That business."

"What does the family business do, mama?"

"We help people out with money. Go find Lovino now, he's probably trying to read that book again and we don't want another broken window. Go calm him down, will you?" She said and looked me in the eye. It was weird that she encouraged me to spend time with Lovino but I wasn't going to let that pass me up so I agreed and skipped out the door.

Mama's P.O.V.

I ran a hand through the thick curls that coated my head and watched my happy little son hop away. God…why did he have to grow up. Why did he fall in love (with a little boy who's practically a trouble magnet), why did he have to move away and get a job and leave me? If only he could understand how much bigger this all was…

No, it was best that he didn't know. It was best if he could just bounce around in his little bubble and drag the cursing Italian with him. That Italian only made things more difficult but Toni adored him…

I let my head fall into my hands and looked at the papers I had been writing on. Bonds and loans galore, calling for thousands upon thousands of dollars. I groaned and pushed them aside. Why couldn't Antonio just stay here with me? I could provide for him and keep him safe from the harsh cruelties of the world, safe from the awful men that our family gave money to.

Yes, the depression fell hard on everyone, especially the Carriedo farm loaning business. No one could afford to farm but mobs could still afford to assimilate and money was still a necessity. Business was a necessity. We had to find business where it thrived and the Italian mafia seemed to prosper in these times. They were the reason we visited all those thirteen years ago. The offer was so hard to deny but I turned it down when my husband passed and I turned back to it in the fear of losing everything. Now…Antonio could be in danger…not my precious baby…I didn't know what to do anymore.

I began to massage my head but was interrupting by loud laughing and muffled yelling.

Antonio…if he could just stay like that forever…I was really praying the Italian boy could help that dream.

Lovino's P.O.V.

Sure enough, after lunch on the next day, Antonio and the maid Alita went into town in search of a job and I didn't see him until the next morning when I awoke to him shaking my shoulders.

"Agh! FUCK! Let me go, you bastard!" I groaned and threw punches at him, none which hit.

"Lovi~ get up! I have a job now so you owe me a date! Get up now! The day is so short! Vamanos!" He encouraged and continued to chant 'vamanos' and jump on the bed.

"Go away! I wanna sleep!" I hissed and chucked a pillow at him who responded by flopping down next to me and tugging me into a hug.

"I don't mind starting my date like this." He cooed and snuggled me. Normally, I would cry and fight but I was not a morning person so I just grumbled and fell back asleep. As easy as this sounds, it's a lot more difficult when Antonio's cradling you and whispering Spanish against your neck…_a lot more difficult_. I gave up after about twenty minutes, once I was flush red. I dragged my tired limbs up and stumbled over to the drawers but the giddy Spaniard begged me to let him choose my outfit.

In the end, he picked a light blue blouse and straight-legged tan pants, completed with brown dress shoes. I was quite stunning and Antonio though so too because he made himself busy fixing my hair with licked fingers. It was gross but I just squinched up my face and let him finish his animalistic cleaning.

"Where are we going anyways?" I asked and lazily brushed down his bird's nest, mop head.

"Secret! I know and you don't!" He chirped and pulled me down stairs. I quickly made eggs and Antonio made toast. The whole time we ate, Antonio pushed me to move faster and I cursed at him, telling him I would take all the time I damn pleased.

He said a quick good-bye to his mother who was still asleep and shoved me into the car which I was not ready for and promptly squeaked which led to teasing through the whole car ride. Apparently, I sound like a mouse, which is really fuck'n hilarious.

We arrived at year-round fair a few towns away. I had never been to one of these before so I followed at Antonio's side like a puppy and admired the colorful tents and animals and people.

"Alright Lovi, we should catch a show first." He explained as he handed a few bills to the man in an obnoxiously stripped jacket who handed back little purple tickets and flashed me a rotten-toothed grin. I hid (In a manly way) behind the Spaniard who was confused as to why I was scared. When that nightmare was over, I was not hasty to speed away.

"Wow! You seemed to be having so much fun! I'm glad!" He exclaimed as I dragged him away from the devil man.

"Sure, whatever. Anyways, let's do a show. What do you want to see?" I asked and tried to find a direction through the bright, sparkling maze.

"Lovi, I'm the one taking _you_ on a date so we do what you want to do." He explained. I was tempted to ask to go back home and sleep but my pity for the man-child trumped.

"Uh…how about…" I read over the brochure quickly. "Madam Reptile…" I said. Antonio grinned and led me off to a pink and purple striped tent (because he seemed to know every inch of this place.)

Inside, we found a seat on a smelly, broken bleacher and a woman walked out into the center. She was quite the sight. She looked to be about fifty or sixty and the wrinkles drooled off her like sap from a tree and she wore the tiniest little bikini I had ever seen. She did some weirdo gestures and finally a giant boa was brought out and wrapped around her. She held it and kissed it and I thought I was going to be sick.

Antonio felt the same so we left (very) early. Antonio walked me around the strip and showed me how to play the different games. I sucked at them all and after two hours, Antonio had won me three dolls. I would never in a million years admit it, but I loved each one of them. I'd have to find somewhere to hide them so I wasn't picked on but I was thrilled to finally own my own toys. I had a pink monkey with giant marble eyes, a multicolored frog and a squirrel holding an electric guitar. I named them and hugged them against me roughly, I was never getting rid of them.

For lunch, we ate mostly churros but also a bit of nachos and soda. I had completely forgotten that this started as a date and now I was just enjoying myself. We travelled from show to show, and towards the day, Antonio ended up carrying me around on his back. He was warm. I got comfortable just burying my face in his scarf and listening his steady breaths. I loved this man, no doubt about it.

Antonio drove us to dinner at a Greek restaurant on the other side of town. When we went in, the first think I noticed was all of the vases and paintings. There just seemed to be too many and I was pretty sure I saw a cat or two walking around.

"Oh hey! A person!" Antonio said and nudged me before pointing to a little huddle at the register.

"No…that's a stupid sculpture. There's like five hundred in here." I said and studied the little black haired man.

"No, Lovi…It's a person, I think…" Antonio whispered to me.

"What?...really? Go touch him and see if he flinches." I prompted and shoved him lightly at the figure that stared dead ahead. My "boyfriend" bravely encountered it and it's eyes bolted up at him, making us both jump. It was alive! Or…haunted…

"H-Hola…?" Antonio nervously greeted. The figure stared back with deep black orbs…it was terrifying.

"S-sir…um I'd like to be seated…table for two." Antonio declared. The man's shaky hand slowly reached up and suddenly began to hit the bell-hop bell as fast as humanly possible, sending the room into a panic.

"Kiku?" I voice called from the kitchen. Soon, a burley (But lazy looking) man stepped out and the bell stopped. He looked from the hunched figure to us then understood.

"Oh…we have costumers then? Okay…come have a seat please." The burley figure said in a low, soft voice and began to walk to the empty seating area. I was starting to think this wasn't a good place to have dinner but I followed Antonio who, in return, followed the crazy cat man.

"Today's specials are…meatballs." He stated quietly. We both waited for more but none followed.

"Um…Alright. Are there menus?" Antonio asked and searched around the table.

"Meatballs." He stated again. Okay, Looney Express has left the station.

"Are there meals other than meatballs-" Antonio began but I stopped him. Anything could tick this freak off. Best not push him.

"_Honey_." I growled at him through a smile and clenched teeth. "If he says there's meatballs, I suggest we eat the meatballs." I said and the man left without waiting to see if we were even going to order the damn meatballs. I wasn't going to stop him though. If I offended him, there would be nothing stopping him from slipping a little something special into my meatballs.

"So Lovi, how's the date been so far?" He asked and awaited my response in excitement.

"Um…good…" I said.

"_Really_." The Spaniard encouraged.

"I…loved it…" I spit out and was answered by laughing. That bastard.

"I'm glad. You're so precious to me, I wanted your first date to be great." He explained and I blushed deep red.

"Sh-Shut up." I whispered, trying to no avail to keep him from going all lovey-dovey.

"You're so beautiful, more than I'd ever be able to tell you." Toni looked into my eyes with his giant emerald ones so I stared right back.

"Whatever." I sighed and looked at my hands that fidgeted on the table until they were grabbed by bigger, tanner ones and my eyes were led back up to his. Both of us moved hypnotically together and met lips. One soft, gentle kiss marked a successful date.

We began to talk about harvesting tomatoes at our future home and getting jobs then we got to the subject of salsa dancing then cooking salsa and then the food came. Meatballs. We both agreed to try at the same time like a Romeo and Juliet dual suicide. Surprisingly, they were delicious. They were served in little potato buns with homemade marinara.

We ate them all in a matter of minutes before Antonio paid the bill to the black-haired statue boy up front and I made sure to send an apology his way for calling him a stupid statue. He drove us home and carried me to my room. For once, I was okay with being carried because I had been thoroughly tired out by my day of excitement.

"Alright Lovino, time to go to sleep." He whispered softly. I nodded lazily. He smiled. "I really do love you Lovino." He stated before pulling out pajamas and helping me into them. I laid down on my bed. It was so soft, I had nested the thickly cushioned blankets into a comfortable bowl that fit my growing frame.

Antonio puled the crushed little stuffed animals out of his bag and laid them beside me before sitting on the ground and lightly brushed his finger though my hair as I slowly began to drift off. He hummed a song I had heard him playing on record a few days ago. It was something Spanish. Be-sah-mee much- a ? something like that. Warm kisses hit my forehead as I finally drifted off in pure happiness.

Antonio's P.O.V.

I looked at his cute, sleeping face. It was cute but more so beautiful. No matter what trials faced my or his future, we would be okay as long as we had each other. I loved him more than anything…more than air or sunshine because let's be honest…

He was my Lovino.

With that thought pleasently swimming in my head, I went to bed.

The next day was dedicated to weeding and watering the garden. Alita told me that was not a chore I was supposed to do but I ignored her with ease and spent my day with Lovi and the tomato plants. As we worked, I passed the time showering him with affection and flirts. I complimented his hair and his eyes and his tequnique for pulling weeds though it was no different from mine. He blushed at every remark and threw dirt at me time from time.

"So. You said you found a job. I want to go see the place." He declared and ripped a bushel of green from the earth.

"You already have." I said with a matter-o-fact tone and a smile. he contemplated my asnwer for a minute.

"Wait! That freaky Greek place!?" He exclaimed and stopped working so he could shoot angry glares at me. (I loved every one of them)

"If by 'freaky Greek place' you mean Mikro Meros (little place) then yes, I work there starting Thursday." I replied and threw a disesaed tomato into the woven basket at my side.

"Why on Earth would you want to work at a place like that!?" He questioned.

"Well Hercules, the meatballs guy, owns the joint and he's really nice. Plus, I don't need any past work expirience." I explained and plucked a worm off of Lovino's sleeve.

"But he's _**crazy**_." The little Italian pointed out. "And so is that statue kid in the front."

"Lovi, that's Kiku. Him and Hercules are like best friends or something. He's just shy."

"Shy my ass." He grumbled and bitterly unrooted another plant.

I laughed and patted his head lovingly before tuning back to my work and speaking after a few minutes of silent labor.

"He could use a cook. He seems to any have the energy to make meatballs." I mentioned.

"I already told you, I'll do some dumb labor. I'm not a people person. Maybe Bella would let me bake bread in the very back of the shop." Lovino said.

"That's such a waste of your skill and I think she has her brother, Nathan, doing that job already. I'm pretty sure it's a family business."

"I could always become a prostitue and work for _your_ family business." he added jokingly.

"My family business isn't prostitution!" I protested wearily.

"Then what is it? It _could_ be prostitution."

"We help people out with money. Like Robin Hood!" I boasted.

"Help who?" He countered.

"Um...Like small businesses and farms and churches and stuff like that." I answered unsurely. I really didn't know but I was sure it had to be something like that.

"Mm." He grunted and never took his eyes off his working hands.

"So you'll at least check out the cooking possision? You woldn't really have to talk to anyone other than me~" I asked hopefully.

"I dunno...I'll think about it." He replied quietly.

"It'll be fun Lovi! And this way, i don't have to worry about you being kidnapped or beat up." This comment earned me his full attention and a long glare.

"You think I can't hold my own!?" He snarled.

"No, of course not Lovi. But some people are just bigger than you. It's fair for me to worry."

"Thanks but don't go thinking I need a bodygaurd. I've been taking care of myself for the past nineteen years, asshole." He growled and savagely began to work on his weeding again. Oh no, I made him upset...

"Lovi, I'm sorry. i was just-" I began to protest but was cut off when he stood up.

"I sick of people looking at me like I need pity and I don't want that from you. I don't want you to to worry that some one will shoot me the second I walk outside. I'm not some fuck'n toy." He declared with a violent anger to his voice and walked off the the shed before closing himself inside.

A deep, aganizing weight dropped in my stomach. I could fix this.

Lovino's P.O.V.

Dammit! How did I always manage to end up like this? One thing was said and I'd always over react. I burried my head in my arms. I didn't want to go back out anytime soon, it was so embarrasing and pathetic. I was too jumpy. I could get worked up and running full steam in just a moment. Dammit...I was awful.

I was ripped away from my thoughts when the strum of gutiar began to sound around me. A familiar voice followed in a thickly coated and musical accent.

_Oh mi tomata..._

_Don't be sad, my precious._

_You're so pretty when you smile so please smile smile again for me._

_Please come out and smile for me._

A hum of gutiar rang and skillful fingers plucked quickly at the chords.

_I'm under a curse, mi amore._

_I cannot smile when you are sad._

_Please come out now. Don't be sad, little one._

_You're far too young to be so sad._

_Come out and smile for me now because I love you._

_Oh, Lovino. How I love you._

He hummed out the rest softly and the music finally ceased. God Antonio...you're something else...

I gently opened the door. Antonio was sitting criss-cross a few feet away with the gutiar in his lap. When he saw me, he set the instrument down and stood.

"Come here Lovino." He called softly. I obeyed and slowly approached the warm figure. When I got close enough, his arms wrapped around me.

"Lo siento. I didn't mean to make you sad." He tenderly explained and rubbed my shakey back.

"No...It was my fault." I whispered. It was very rare I ever amitted blamed and Antonio knew that so he rewarded me by kissed my temple.

"No blame to anyone." He said and let me go. I smiled a little bit for him and recieved a short kiss on the lips. We went back to work easily, like none of that happened. I requested songs and Antonio would play them for me as I worked. Of course, the only songs I knew were Elvis Presley and church hymns but Antonio was more tham happy to strum them out for me.

"Sing along, Lovi!" He encouraged and watched me draw shapes in the dirt.

"I don't sing." I retorted flatly.

"You sang for me once." He reminded and lightly nudged my foot.

"Key word being _ONCE_." I said and ignored the puppy face he was giving me.

"But your voice is so beautiful. Please?"

I blushed but just shook my head. "No."

"Why not?" He questioned but I didn't answer. He pestered me till I told him what the nuns had told me years ago. It was a sin to give away a gift that had been given from above.

"That's just silly. Gifts like that are for sharing." He argued.

"Okay, you know what, pushy McGee? I don't have all of the facts and statistics so lay off." I scolded.

"Well...I guess you can still hum then?"

"I dunno, I guess so." I answered and stabbed the soil with my twig a couple of times.

"Then you can hum along!" Antonio stated joyously stared the music back up. I sighed and hummed quietly so he would just shut up already. He sang in my place and had a grand old time till it was time for dinner and we stopped working for the day. After dinner, Antonio dragged me down to the freak show we had eaten at yesterday.

"Hercules!" He called excitedly as we entered. Kiku jumped at the sudden outbust and graced us with the smallest welcoming nod. We waited around and Toni called out for the store owner a few more times till he took my hand and settled with dragging me around to find the man. I protested but was pulled along anyways.

We found him sleeping in the back, in what appeared to me a pile of stray cats. A brown and white one swiftly trotted over to me and sat at my side. he seemed to be just as annoyed as I was...I took a liking to him instantly.

"Ah, Amigo!" Antonio called and shook the man's shoulder which didn't seem to have any effect. "I have someone I want you to meet! He's an amazing cook!"

One lazy green eye opened and looked half-liddedly at me. He studdied me up and down before closing his eye again and leaning back.

"Okay. He's good." He said and started to snooze again.

"Wait! Just like that? I've got the job?" I asked, stunned. The man gave me a thumbs up.

"Yup, that's it. Oh, and Kiku might ask you to wear a dress uniform if he works up the courage. Just humor him for a little while." Hercules informed me .

"O...Okay." I mumbled. If all I had to do was cook (maybe in a dress just once. No one would see me.) then that sounded like the ideal job. The place didn't seem to have any costomers so I could just slack off and even sneak some free food.

"Yay! Gracias! I knew you were a pal!" Antonio exclaimed and sat beside the Greek. I walked back into the restraunt, not caring to hear two idiots converse. From the kitchen ( I was checking it out for employment purposes) I could hear that thick Spanish voice echo from his position.

"Wow! seriously?...mm-hm...oh yeah, I heard about that...What? seriously? how cool!" Damn him for being so loud. I mockingly mimicked him with my hand till a soft knock on the door frame inturrupted me. I looked back to the short asian man who was watching at me. Jesus Christ! Was he raised by ninjas or something?

"Oh! Hey...didn't see you there." I said and put a hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"Ah...excuse me, I'm sorry." He said, barely audible and bowed.

"No, um, you're alright." I excused and nervously bowed a bit too. "You're Kiku right?" I asked. He seemed taken by surprise by my familiarity but nodded.

"Yes. Please excuse my abruptness but, will you be working here now then?" He asked hesitantly.

"Um, yeah. I guess so. I'm going to cook." I answered and he smiled to me softly.

"That is a relief to me. Karpusi San often falls asleep while cooking and I worry he will burn down the kitchen. that is why he only cooks meatballs. They are the only food he can seem to stay awake long enough to make." He took a moment to walk all the way into the room. "May I ask your name?"

"Oh. yeah, I'm Lovino Vargas." I said proudly since I finally had a last name to give.

"Alright Vargas san, you may call me Kiku." He announced, making me feel stupid for not realising earlier that I needed permission to call him such.

"Thanks. You can call me Lovino. Well, some people call me Lovi." I explained and nervously scratched the nape of my neck with a slight smile.

"Kawaii." He suddenly chirped before turning red and apologizing. I had no idea what 'kawaii' meant but I was pretty sure it was directed at me.

"Yes, I'll call you Lovi then. It's a very..._good_ name." He corrected. What was _that_ suppose to mean!? I decided not to call him out on it since his timidness seemed to eating him already.

"Thanks...um, if you don't mind, I'll excuse myself now. If I don't get Antonio, he'll talk all night." I said and quickly left before he could ask me to wear a dress. I got the Spanish idiot (though it was hard to convince him to leave. It took me telling him his mother would be angry to finally get him on his feet.) and we left the same way we had came.

I planned on learning how to drive soon because then I could leave him there and teach him a lesson. Of couse, I'd feel bad and go back for him an hour later. Antonio explained to me his and Hercules' conversation which consited of cats, polotics and the plan for Thursday. Antonio would drive us both there in the morning. I get off first but I was welcomed to stay and wait for Antonio to finish sweeping (not that I had a choice). We would do that five days a week for a reasonable pay.

it seemed that things were actually going to work out for us now. We could afford a home and food and heat. Maybe someday we could get a second car or maybe cow and chickens. whatever happened, it was going to be fine. I knew everything was going to work out.

(Alrighty! Another chapter down and our plot has once again started turning. Yay! I am so thankful to everyone. I'll update one week from now so bye till then!)


	10. Working with assholes

Chapter 10.

(WARNING: foul mouth, profanities, offensive language, terms and themes. Mature content, religious themes.)

Lovino's P.O.V.

When I awoke, it must have been very, very early or very, very late sensing by the darkness that surrounded me. I groggily looked around the dim room that was slightly illuminated by the nightlight Antonio had put in there for me in case I needed to get up and was in danger of falling. I tried to adjust myself into a sitting position and immediately noticed the sloshing feeling between my legs and my pants sticking tight to my legs. Confused, I tried wriggling them a bit and found that the feeling had already made its way down my legs and now I could feel warm slipperiness coating my toes. I shifted my hips and the bed in response made disgusting squishy noise and revealed the puddle that had formed around me, shit.

I cursed myself a million times as I hastily removed myself from the dark stain in the beautiful sheets. The smell was now hitting me… shit! I hadn't done something like that in years! Why now!? I must have had another muscle fit in my sleep, which often resulted in me losing my bladder, damn it…

I took the sheets in my frustrated fists and began to pull off the layers. Each retold the embarrassing story of my nightly accidents. I didn't know how I was going to get away with it this time. I smelled, my sheets smelled, and we were both very obviously wet. Once I had relieved my bed of its covers (The mattress didn't lie though), I changed myself into a pair of clean boxers and laid a quilt over the grey patched mattress. With a ball of dampened blankets in arms and a blush emanating over my face, I quietly opened my door. The hall was deathly silent. Even more, it was pitch dark.

When I looked into the black and never ending hall, my mind immediately resorted to the anxiety of imagining the most horrid things that could lurk in such a mystery. My eyes feverishly shot around and saw every kind of monster possible. They watched me with wicked evil eyes that wanted nothing more than to tear me to shreds. I quickly stepped back into the room, busying myself with shushing the thought. How stupid could I be!? I couldn't still be afraid of the dark! That was for babies! I could do it, I reassured myself. It was better to face a stupid fear and get these down to the laundry room than having to confront Antonio and his mother with urine stains on their lovely sheets. With a deep breath, I shoved myself into the hall again.

My eyes deceived me again, portraying hideous pictures of evils and devils, I shut my eyes tight. I could do this! I could do this! Then…the imagines began to breath and I could feel them move. I could them bringing their scrappy bodies closer so they could breathe down my neck. Fear began to shake my body, possibilities flooded my mind, and I could see them even with my eyes closed. I quickly abandoned my mission and ran back into my safe zone.

Dammit! Dammit! I roughly wrestled tears of frustration off my face which only made them spill harder. Not only had I wet the bed, I was also still terrified of the dark and now I was turning into an uncontrollable cry baby.

Pathetic was just an understatement. I was embarrassed beyond belief as I sat on the carpet and sobbed to the stench of my own urine. It was absolutely disgusting and demeaning in every way. It was pretty fair to say that this might be the worst day of my whole life, especially because Antonio was just a few feet away and I was acting like a complete infant. I hated it. I hated myself. In a pathetic attempt to release frustration, I threw a fist at the pile of sheets but my blurry eyes corrupted my sight and I ended up scraping my knuckles against the carpet and crying harder. I could add the fact that my hand was stinging and bleeding to my list of things that destroyed any pride I had left.

I reevaluated what I considered to be the worst day ever when Antonio drowsily walked in and saw the mess I was. Yup…this was definitely was worse. All I could do was weep and weep to pity my own despair. Yes, now he was looking at me as I cried a river and buried my head in the ball I had formed. I felt so awful…

Antonio knelt by my figure as a giant hand lifted to rub my bare back. I uneasily shifted under the hand until its owner began to use a heavy Spanish voice to relax me.

"Hush, hush…it's okay Chico…you're okay…hush, it's okay, it's alright." He cooed lovingly into my ear. These chants soon calmed my body and I fell hypnotized into his arms. He cradled me softly, continuing to reassure me that everything was okay.

"Go away, I don't want you here." I lied with shaky breaths. I felt him smile and respond by only rocking me to a gentle rhythm.

"I knew something was wrong, I could feel it. What's wrong, Lovi?" He asked in a melty voice, soft as satin. I didn't answer for the shame of the truth, only allowed myself to be nested against his body so closely that out heat beats intertwined into melodic drumming.

"You're scared." The Spanish voice noted. I just barely nodded. That was something I hated to admit as much as needing help but this moment didn't call for hostility.

"Everyone gets afraid, amour. Don't you think David was afraid when he was faced by Goliath? Or even Samson, a great hero, when Delilah deceived him and stole his power? Of course, everyone is afraid sometimes." My love explained and pet my head soothingly, knowing how it relaxed me.

"I hate it." I said, nerves beginning to ease.

"I love it, it's just another thing that makes you _you_. Now, tell me why and I'll fix it." I nervously though the proposition over before finally looking at the door and giving a quiet reply, "I hate the dark…"

I was so thankful he didn't laugh like he did sometimes when I told secrets. "That's alright; the dark is a very frightening thing." He gave a short pause and looked around my room, "Is that why your sheets are on the floor?" I had done a pretty good job of wrapping them in a way that concealed the wet patches inside.

"No…" I whispered with more shame sweeping over me. I felt his nose press against my back (I really wish he hadn't because I start to tear up again) and took a sniff. It was so embarrassing. My face flushed deeply as the tears raced over my hot cheeks without a deterrent.

"Oh Lovi…" He sadly whispered when he realized how the scent on me and the ball of sheets connected. I prayed over and over that he wouldn't be too disgusted. I prayed he wouldn't think I was a pathetic baby. I felt his silence press hard on me, a slight confusion work its way into his breath. He must be lost as to what to do or say. I sat quietly in his lap and waited with all the patience I could muster.

"Lovi…it's alright. Some boys are just piddlers." He said, trying to sooth me but I only cried worse at hearing the word 'piddle', a term used only in the context of animals.

"No, no, don't cry! It's normal…" Antonio whined and tried again to calm me again be being more abrasive in his petting.

"I peed the bed, okay!? Straight forward!" I wailed, burying my burning eyes in my hands so he couldn't see them. Dammit…why was I doing this!? It was pathetic.

"It's alright! It's okay! Calm down, calm down!" The Spaniard said and tried to pry my hands away. I didn't want him to, I hated this. I wanted him to leave! I didn't want him to be trying to reason with me like a tantruming child, which I was! I lifted a hand and smacked at the ones that were desperately trying to help he. I heard the sound of the slap followed by a silence resounding around the room.

Dammit! I was doing it again. I was getting frustrated and lashing out on poor Antonio. I wanted to run right then. The feeling protruding in my stomach was that of guilt. I started shoving at him, trying to free myself so I could escape. I didn't care if I had to run in the dark as long as I could run away. This situation was too much for me, I had to hide and yet the arms wouldn't release me. They allowed me to fight and struggle all I wanted but held me around the hips with just enough strength to keep by bottom planted in Antonio's lap.

After much fighting, accompanied by colorful words and curses aimed at the one I love, I gave up and fell limp in his lap. I had grown tired of fighting; I let myself give into pathetic retreat of being at his mercy. He hummed softly and pet my head for a long while.

"Lovino, should I sing to you?" He asked me, his crybaby boyfriend. I pouted as I watched the carpet, pretending I was dead in his lap. A soft smile played over his lips.

_"Poor little Lovi was so scared one night_

_He scared himself to tears_

_He opened wide and then he cried_

_He cried out all his fears."_

He softly sang like a nursery rhyme, quite proud of his rhyming skills. I had to admit, he could probably make a fortune writing spontaneous greeting cards,

_"But since he's such a brave little boy,_

_He stopped his tears real soon_

_He stood himself up and smiled wide_

_For his face was as bright as the moon."_

Antonio laughed at his own sing-song poem then gently pressed a kiss to my temple. My face remained in a defeated scowl.

"I think that was one of my best songs!" He declared before moving the hand petting my head down my arm to stroke my side. I gave up a weak smile. He knew what I liked, damn him. Why did he have to be so perfect?

"Thank you." I muttered stubbornly (I wasn't giving that up).

"Anything for you, mi amour." He answered simply and peppered my forehead with kisses. I don't know how he managed to still love me; it was mind boggling but hell if I was going to protest.

"You can go sleep in my bed. I'm going to take the sheets down then I'll come back and make sure you're asleep." He informed me with his usual peaceful tone.

"You don't have to, idiot. I'll do it in the morning." I objected with a pink tint to my face. I didn't want Antonio to carry my 'accident' sheets.

"But you don't want Mama to know about this, am I right?" The truth was, I didn't want anybody to know about his. I nodded.

"Then I insist. I don't mind Lovi. Go to bed." He insisted and picked me up as he stood. I stared at him accusingly, wordless asking his he was sure he didn't mind. He smiled at me with such intensity, I was left wondering if I was even deserving of such a face. I nodded since I was a bit too dazed to answer civilly.

Antonio led me by hand across the hall the two feet that separated our rooms. He flickered on the table lamp and situated me in his bed before pressing his lips to my nose and leaving with the promise of returning. I had no idea how he could manage to be so nice to me…he was crazy or stupid or something.

I snuggled onto my side (By the way, the bedding was totally as great as he said it was.) and let my body be devoured by the cushions. I sunk into the embrace of goose feather blankets. Antonio's scent had been harbored in the sheets so I buried my face in them and enjoyed the feeling of protection and comfort. The scent was trademark; I knew it was his for a fact. It was a mix of hearty garden soil, natural flower and weed aromas and coffee beans. It was the smell of Antonio, the smell that filled my lungs every time he wrapped me in his arms. It was perfect. It was sweet and filling like eating till your full and taking a siesta.

Said human walked in the door and climbed in bed beside me but not before greeting me with a smile. I blushed and rolled away from his big body, not wanting to start a cuddle fest. I shut my eyes so could tell I was ready to sleep. However I felt an arm wrap itself protectively around me and the man beside me let his breath calm till I was sure he was asleep and I felt ready to sleep myself.

When I awoke for the second time, I found myself completely draped around him as he cuddled me back, his arms latched around my waist possessively. I quickly recalled the events of the night before and immediately checked to make sure I hadn't done the same. _Dry_. Thank. God.

Sighing a breath of relief, I tried to pull myself up but the weight along my hips refused that idea. Antonio growled in his sleep and tightened his grip as if he were a dog and I, his bone. In annoyance, I shoved the face that has pressed against me.

"Hm!?" Antonio grunted and shot awake. He looked at me in confusion without removing his hug. I thought he might realize his position then be a reasonable person by letting go and getting up for the day. I was wrong. Antonio's face melted into a smile and he snuggled back into his previous position with a purr. Why did I even bother to think that he could be a reasonable person? I should know better by now.

"Get off, bastard. We have to work today. I know this whole responsibility thing is new to you but if you tell someone that you accept a job, you're kind of supposed to show up on the first day."

"I kind of don't want to; I want to stay like this all day." He corrected. I found that to be a pretty damn good response for someone who wants to be punched in the stomach. I did the honors. (I was gentle, okay?)

Antonio grumbled and whined. "Get up." I commanded again. He wriggled but refused, earning himself another attack causing an all-out wrestling match. We managed to wrestle our way off the bed with a thump. The rivalry ended when a certain curl was pulled and a cry was let out. Antonio tried to apologize as I stomped out of the room. I locked myself in my room, letting myself calm down then get dressed in appropriate clothes. I didn't see Antonio again till I was downstairs eating breakfast. He offered an apologetic smile but I suck my tongue out at him and gave him the silent treatment till breakfast was over.

Antonio said goodbye to his mother and we left in the car. Five minutes later we arrived at Mikro Meros ("Crazy Town" but Antonio insists that it really does translate to "Little Place"). Outside, a piece of cardboard was leaned against the wall that read 'Knew Employment'…well; it was obvious we weren't working with a genius. At least there was some sort of welcome for us and we were considered management. That was a good start I guess.

"kalo̱sórisma (welcome)." The burley brunet man called when he noticed us walk in. Kiku was the first to stand and approach us…specifically me. He approached ME with a frilly white cloth in tow. I grimaced, imagining what it might be. He gave me a bow that I awkwardly returned.

"Konnichiwa." He greeted in a mellow, flat voice. Jesus Christ, did no one ever speak English here!? I guessed it was a custom or something so I of course followed suit.

"C-Ciao." I answered and regained the posture of a European. The little Asian man seemed to accept my response because the next thing he did was took the linen off his arm and held it out to show me.

…

Crazy town was a pretty good name for this place.

It was an apron. A white, frilly, apron with a heart-shaped chest cloth and a big bow that tried behind the neck along with one that tied right on the small of my back. Toni flashed me an excited bush. Kiku looked nervously between me and the half dress.

Uh-uh. Nope. No.

"I sewed it myself…I thought it might protect your clothes while cooking." He told me and blushed. When I opened my mouth to protest, of course Toni was there to interject.

"He _made_ it _himself_ Lovi…_for you_~." He reminded me and nudged me forward, hinting that I should accept. I turned around and shot him a quick glare then shifted my attention back to the anxious man who nervously offered me his present.

"Thank you…I love it." I answered and used all the muscle in my face to hold the sides of my mouth up. I hoped it sounded sincere. He smiled and excitedly pushed it towards me where I took it and gave an accepting nod. Okay, so I accepted it but I didn't plan on actually wearing it.

"Here, Lovi~ I'll tie it for you!" My so-called-boyfriend offered. If I could kill have him with purely the heated anger in my eyes, I would have taken his life thirty times over. I'd have raped his ability to die.

"I really wouldn't want to ruin it, it's so nice." I answered with a sweetie voice, a 'Take-_that_- up-the-butt, Toni' voice.

"Oh, I should make you a few more? Then you won't have to worry about ruining one." Kiku offered.

"No! This one is great! I love it, I'll use this one." I shoved the apron at Antonio so he could gear me up. Last thing I needed was six different colored aprons that really belonged on a little girl's doll. Dear god…this was Antonio's fault. Before I knew him, I would have flipped the Asian off and maybe even try to fight him for trying to get me in an apron. He was the one who turned me into a prissy-priss. Dammit, I was going to kick him right in the manhood later so he knew what it felt like to take away mine.

Antonio was perfectly happy to tie the apron onto me. The sad part was, it was made for a girl yet it was too big on me. All that 'not eating' shit was really catching up to me. I grumbled a curse at him and went back to the kitchen. There weren't any customers so I made myself familiar with the kitchen. It was filthy. The red brick tiles looked more like the beach I visited with Antonio and his family. Better yet, I couldn't find a broom so I was left kicking the filth around with the side of my foot. Finally, Kiku found me doing this and showed me the little hand broom commonly used from quickly cleaning small messes. I set Antonio to work with that since there were no customers to wait on. By the time he had finished, he was swearing that he was going to invest on a real broom with his first paycheck. I wiped the counters and pretty much every other surface in that room with a hot rag.

I spent the next hour cleaning out the stove while the Spaniard and Greek unloaded boxes of rice. Antonio was sent to ask Belle if he could borrow her moving dolly so they could get the rice into the store-room. Soon after he left, I heard Kiku ringing the door-hop bell like crazy. We must have a customer. I pulled the pans off the fall and began to heat up the stove. After a few minutes of preparation, Hercules appeared in the doorway and read off a little note pad.

"One order of 'whatever the chef recommends'." He informed me and left without another word. I was already liking this customer. With a bit of a smile, I began to cook the familiar dish of Ziti. As the cook, I was justified in snacking on it as I went and it was pretty damn good. Hercules arrived and took the plate from me, giving me time to sit on a little chair in the corner and let myself start to nap.

"Lovino…?" A tired voice woke me up. I opened an eye lazily to see Hercules again in the door frame.

"Yeah?" My voice came out a bit groggy and pissy. It didn't betray me; I was groggy and pissy after being interrupted in the middle of a nap.

"The customer is very unsatisfied with the meal and he requests you remake his plate."

I don't know if it's natural, but I was pretty sure I was developing a twitch in my eye. "Oh really? Tell the son of a bitch that he can eat my foot! There was nothing wrong with it!"

"I don't think I can say that…"

"Fine, then I will." I growled and pulled off the apron. I stomped out past Hercules and into the dining room, searching for the little bastard who I was about to give a taste of my fist to. Of course, it was one of the last people I wanted it to be. When I saw him sitting cross-legged in the booth like a little prissy bitch, I didn't even have to look at the atrociously bleached hair to identify him. That bastard Vito looked up at me. His frown switched to a smirk the moment our eyes met.

"Ah, Amico! (Friend)" He called and waved an excited arm at me. I gave him a scowl far more hateful than my angry scowl.

"Get the fuck out of here." I said in a menacing tone, flashing teeth for a snarl that had no effect on him.

"I wouldn't talk that way to a friend. Now, where's that hotsy totsy boyfriend of yours?" He asked and gave the room a quick survey to prove the point that he wasn't around to protect me.

"He's not my boyfriend! He's my cousin!" I corrected. I could never publicly admit my love for Antonio. Homosexuals were executed…and not in the 'nice' way.

"You don't have to lie to me. I won't tattle on you just because you're a ball sucker." He smirked with the comment. I could lunge at his head and claw out his eyes, in fact, I really wanted to. No, I could hold myself back! I was better than that now. I was better than street shit like him. I was the love of Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and I would not do something as demeaning as lowering myself to his level. I wasn't Lovino, the scrappy, anxious, feisty homeless boy anymore. I was better than him now so I straightened my posture and acted like it.

"I'm leaving." I told Hercules as I walked to the door and got my hand around the handle. I was doing so well. Antonio would be proud with me! If only that little fucker didn't have to go and wither my already thin patience.

"Yeah, try not to suck too much dick in the parking lot!" I heard him call and make his way to his feet. Fuck him...fuck him patience. Lovino was put on this earth as a scrappy, feisty, pissy boy and that wasn't dying anytime soon.

"Okay, fuck face." I addressed him and turned around. "The day I need a friend like you, I'll have myself a little squat and shit one out." I scoffed.

Feeling brave, Vito took a few steps forward which I had no trouble putting an end to. "Sit your five dollar ass down before I decide to make change." I growled at him.

"Wanna talk about ass!? Is that were you got that meal from!? It was shit! You suck! If fact, it would take three promotions for you to suck! Even then, saying you suck is an insult to people who suck! I would rank you 'scum sucking faggot'!"

"You're gonna have a hell of a time trying to eat shit when I knock every tooth out of your damn head! I'll hit you so hard, the impact will kill your whole family and you'll wish you had died as a child!"

"I already do after swallowing a bite of your Poison Pasta!"

"Y'know what!? I will personally drag you into the kitchen by your tiny wiener, cut you up, and make you the special ingredient in our Road Kill Soup! People will come from everywhere to have a taste and they'll all ask me what my secret is and you know what I'll tell them!? I'll say it's the power of friendship, Amico!"

"You wanna play that way!? Well, I'm no spoil sport. Let's have ourselves a game then~" He growled and dug a hand into his coat pocket. Dammit, street freaks like these were always packing hidden dangers.

"What your reaching for better be a sandwich cause I'm going to make you eat it!" I screeched, worrying for my life but trying to sound menacing. My verbal attacks did me no good. He laughed mockingly at me and began to pull his hand up. I was so focused on him and my fear that I didn't noticed the black haired boy holding a stir-fry pan and slowly inching toward Vito until it was too late and the metal met roughly with his head. Kiku looked at the figure on the floor and shook horribly with adrenalin.

Stunned? Absolutely. I looked between the sleeping gangster and the frozen Asian. I didn't expect that from Kiku, not in a hundred years. He dropped the pan and it clattered the floor loudly just as he started to sway.

"I…I need to sit down…" He said with a bit more anxiety than his usual nonchalant tone. Hercules took him by the shoulders and walked him into the back room so I was left with the unconscious boy. I sat in the booth and waited for Toni since he was too heavy for me to drag out on my own.

Antonio's P.O.V.

I arrived within the next ten minutes; dolly hooked around one arm and the other pushing open the stubborn door. I looked around, noticing Lovino sitting at a booth towards the back over the top of the cluttered desk that Kiku usually at.

"Hola, Lovi! Where is everyone?" I asked and wrestled with the large metal dolly so I could shimmy it through the door. It took me a minute but I managed then began to wheel it in only to stop when an unusual sight met me. There was a dead man crumpled on the ground at Lovi's feet.

"We had a customer." He informed me since he knew I was going to ask.

"So I see…but why is he dead?" I didn't take my eyes off the body as I stood the dolly up against the eggshell colored walls.

"He's not dead, Idiota. Kiku hit him with a pan."

"Why would he- wait…hey, it's that guy from town!" My tone took and abrupt shift from curious to angry. "Was he giving you shit, Lovi!?" I was going to kill that sick bastard. I could kind of turn into a psychopath when I wanted to. (Who wants to turn into a psychopath?)

"Yeah but I gave him hell till Kiku went crazy ninja kid on him. Just drag him out, okay?" He ordered before standing up and walking off to the kitchen. I abandoned the dolly and made my new task to sling his limb body over my shoulder and carry him out the back way, into the alley. I wasn't far from just setting him down and beating the living shit out of him. Alas, I was classy. I wouldn't hit someone who was unarmed; it was the lowest of low. I carried him down the alley for a block or two then found a nice smelly dumpster to leave the trash in.

Upon returning to the restaurant, I swept the floors, beat the rugs and whipped the tables. Since there were no other customers, I was allowed to leave with Lovino.

"Fun, si!?" I asked and looked to Lovino who was seated in the passenger seat of the car and looking out the window at the passing scenery.

"Yup, a real blast." Sarcasm practically dripped from his mouth. I chuckled a bit.

"Besides the sucky part." I clarified.

"You mean the whole day?"

"The whole day didn't suck Lovi~"

"First, I was forced to wear a girly apron then I had to cook good food for someone I absolutely hate, which in return, cussed me out and almost killed me. Oh, you're right Toni. My day was actually great." He said. He didn't use his usual venomous voice and instead used his 'pip-pip-cheerio-fuck-you' voice. I had learned his language and that voice meant he was secretly in a good mood and would probably be up for cuddling later tonight. Lucky me!

"Well I'm sorry you didn't have fun. I'm sure tomorrow will be better." I offered. He snorted humorously and watched the world move quickly by us until we arrived home.

As I predicted, Lovino was in a good mood all night. He made me dinner and let me choose the meal. Of course, I asked for stuffed tomatoes. I read Oliver Twist to him for an hour and he sat in my lap all on his own! I didn't have to grab him or plea! Then, he kissed me for a while and we went to our separate rooms after bathing (but Lovino had already showered in the morning after his accident). I missed sleeping with Lovi, he was such a cuddle bug! He was so sweet! I hugged my pillows but the feeling wasn't even close. Maybe when we got our own house we could sleep in the same bed as long as Mama didn't find out. Even if she did I would anyways. I loved Lovino and I wasn't going to give up holding him all night.

I couldn't wait to wake up and see Lovino again in the morning. As I fell asleep, I imagined the little Italian cuddling into my arms how he had last night. Love makes a person crazy. Crazy enough to hallucinate a human were a pillow was, yes. It was actually pretty scary.

(I'll be updating this weekend, see you then~)


	11. An Adventure

Chapter 11

(WARNING: foul mouth, profanities, mature/offensive language and themes. Religious themes.)

Antonio' P.O.V.

I spent my night in a realm of pleasant dreams. Unfortunately, I am a man and my dreams consisted of my secret desires for the young Italian boy across the hall. It wasn't morally right but lust was as natural of a feeling as happiness. My dreams had been disturbed not my the clanking pots downstairs or by my mother yelling for quiet or even by the slamming doors. No, none of those. The thing that finally managed to tug me away from my make believe sensations was a sudden heaviness on my chest and the yelling of,

"Toni! Get up!".

I opened my eyes to reveal said Italian sitting on my stomach, legs on either side. Cautiously, I checked around to be sure this wasn't a continuation of the dream before looking back to the little one who pouted in response.

"Good morning, Tomata." I greeted tiredly. His hands came down to my shoulders, pinning me against the mattress.

"I made breakfast." He declared with a bit of excitement. Overall, he resembled a big puppy, pinning his master down so he could wag his tail and whine.

"Then we should go eat, no?" The hands on my shoulders remained, making sitting up impossible.

"Baciami prima. (Kiss me first)" His head leaned down closer to mine so that I could look into those gold crested eyes. I knew the word "baciami"…at least, I thought I did. I had to question myself now. It didn't seem like something Lovino would ask for first thing in the morning or ask for at all. He usually just took what he pleased. The signs of confusion on my face were evident and read instantly.

"Do I need to get you a manual, idiot?" He questioned before taking the initiative and kissing me. It took me a minute to compose myself but once I did, I kissed him back passionately. The moment only lasted a few seconds then he pulled away and got off me entirely.

"Good morning to you too." I hummed a chuckle out of my throat. Lovino was pinking on his cheeks but he remained in the room as opposed to running out like I had expected.

"Wow, you're feeling quite affectionate today. What's the occasion?" I asked and got out of bed as well. The boy shuffled a bit, like he was contemplating an answer. He settled with blowing it off as nothing. I threw a grey blouse over my bare chest and slipped into dress pants.

"Change your shirt." Lovino said from his comfortable perch on top my dresser. Why he was up there, I had no idea. Maybe it made him feel tall or something.

"What's wrong with this one?" I asked and ran a hand down the soft, charcoal material.

"It…boring." He stated as his fingers curiously found their way around a glass trinket that his eyes had been studying. It was a little porcelain parakeet that had been painted with gold leaf. A token of my mother's decorative spirit.

"You like that sort of thing?" I watched him turn it over every angle. He rubbed over the soft surfaces and experiment by scratching it with his nail.

"Yeah…this is a bit too showy for me though. I like simple." His lips formed the words slowly, delicately. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how beautiful he was.

"I have a present for you, mi amour." I told him and started carefully looking through the jewelry box beside him on the dresser. His eyes followed me. When I found what I had been looking for I held it up.

"Do you like this?" I asked. His eyes carefully studied the necklace hung by pinched fingers on either side. Simple, gold chain held up a single golden cross in the center. Beautiful and simple. I was really expecting him to make fun of the fact I had jewelry but instead he reached out a curious hand to touch it. Before his fingers could meet the cold metal I pulled it around his neck and snapped the lock around the chain. Drawing back, I could take in his appearance. He was beautiful. He looked at the pendant without really knowing what to say or do.

"I…um…" He finally managed to whisper, not taking his eyes from the chain, "Antonio?"

"Si?" I asked. He slowly lifted his face and made eye contact. A single marble tear ran down his cheek and plopped into his lap. "Lovi? I'm sorry, what wrong?" I worriedly used my sleeve to wipe the wetness from his face. Lovino's expressionless face suddenly melted into a gentle smile, the rarest of all his smiles. A little warm hand weaved around mine. I was admittedly a little confused.

Lips pressed against mine, silently telling me that nothing was wrong at all. It took nothing else to convince me, I kissed back.

"Grazie, amore…" He said quietly, looking back down to the pendant. I used my free hand to stroke his cheek.

"This necklace has been passed down my family since the pirate days. My father passed it down to me and I to you." I took the cross in my fingers and flipped it to show him the little engravings going up the spine, "It says '_esperanza_', it means 'hope'."

"Toni…can I accept this?" He ran a finger down the carved letters as if they were Braille.

"Your supposed to accept gifts, its proper manners." I said with a smile.

"Fuck manners. I meant, is it right?" Lovino ran his teeth along his lip nervously. I took his hand and led the fingers over the letters again.

"Hope, Lovino…what else have we got?" I was answered with a smile and kiss.

"Change your shirt, stupid. If you got any darker, you'd be a shadow." He said. I smiled, he had a point. Deep coffee hair, tanned Spanish flesh, charcoal shirt, black pants.

"What should I wear than?" Lovino slid off the dresser and made his way to my wardrobe. He filed through the carefully pleated shirts till he found a scarlet button-up and pulled it out.

"Put this one on." He commanded, shoving it into my arms. I did as he more or less asked without protest. When I had changed, Lovino studied me over. "Good." He stated in sudden approval, "Now, breakfast." I followed him out of the room and down the stair. Little Lovi was wearing a pale yellow blouse, brown straight legged pants and suspenders to hold them up. He had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, mainly because the shirt was made for me and my arms had been longer than his. It suited his so well.

When we were in the kitchen, I saw the layout of pancakes and homemade honey margarine syrup. The table had been set for just two people, measures were taken to ensure that the etiquette was correct according to the books.

"You did this?" I asked, a little astonished. I didn't think he actually remembered all of the lessons he received from Alita.

"Of course I did! Who the hell did you expect? A box of tomatoes fairy?!" He snarled, putting his hands on his hips with a bit of attitude. Cute~

"Those are real!?" I asked with sarcasm that only resulted in Lovi sticking out his tongue and threatening to not let me eat. I submitted told him it looked lovely, that was enough to convince him to let me eat again. The food was delicious, even if a bit cold. When we finished, Alita practically shoved us out the door, saying she wanted us to pick up the mail on our way. I'd have to thank her for cleaning up our dishes later.

We made a stop at the post office rather quickly. Lovi shoved the four or five notes into his bag, saying we could read them later. I was admittedly getting very nervous. I had heard nothing from Aunty Esta yet. Either she didn't know or there was one hell of a storm brewing. My anxiety only heightened every day. Lovino did the courtesy of reading out loud the sender's address of each for me. Two from Germany, one from France and another from Italy. I breathed a sigh of relief. Safe another day. We arrived at work within ten minutes.

Kiku rose and bowed when we entered. We had both already learned that this was the appropriate greeting, we mimicked the move. The little Japanese man handed Lovino the frilly apron he had forgotten in his fit of anger yesterday. I was more than happy to put it on for him. He was more that happy to remind me that he knew where I lived.

After three hours, only one person came in. It was a man shouting jumbled Italian and waving a pile of crumpled papers around. Kiku took the initiative by sprinting back into the kitchen and fetching our fluent Italian speaker. I watched the two closely, making sure no physical violence was initiated. Verbally, they could have been cussing each other out for all I knew.

Once Lovino calmed the man down, they laid his papers down on the table. Lovino flattened a few out then used his finger to trace a trail along one. He quickly switch to another and continued the trail, making turns here and there till he stopped and slammed his finger down in one spot, crying, "questo è tutto; basta! (-And that's it!)"

The man began to laugh and roughly pat Lovino on the back. I edged forward, ready to rip his arm away if I needed to. "Ho sbagliato città tutto questo tempo! (I've been in the wrong town this whole time!)" The man exclaimed. They mumbled Italian to each other for a while until he kissed Lovi's cheek, gave his a giant crushing hug and left. Once the man was out of sight, I approached Lovino and quickly frisked him to make sure he was still in tact.

Hercules emotionless face quickly popped out of the back room. "Lovino gets a promotion." He said flatly and disappeared again. Lovino smiled and boasted the whole way back to the kitchen. In about an hour, a badly drawn scribble of a person appeared crudely taped to the wall. I wasn't sure when it had gotten there; I hadn't even seen Hercules leave the back room. It was labeled as: "Lovino, employee of the month." After reading that, I broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

I could make out the picture now. His frown took up the whole lower half of his potato shaped head. Lovino's eyes were different shapes and sizes, his hair was a tangled mess of lines that resembled what a cat having an epileptic seizure might draw. In fact, that was probably just the case. My hysteria attracted the boy in question out of the kitchen to find out what was so damn hilarious.

Once he saw the picture, he began to beat me up for laughing at something like that. "It's not funny! You bastard!" He cried and beat another fist against my back. I couldn't stop laughing. It was hilarious.

"Lo siento, lo siento!" I chocked out defensively. His fists gave up and he settled with swearing at me. "You're lovely, lo siento. I didn't mean it, it looks nothing like you." I called again, not able to hide my ridiculously huge smile. He growled more swears under his breath and retreated to the kitchen. I spent the next few minutes just staring at it, trying to conceal the rising laughter in my throat.

The day was uneventful. I swept, mopped, and dusted the millions of vases that were lying around. Lovino used the rice we couldn't pack into the store room for lunch. Apparently, rice was a whole meal for middle class families. I tried to call Lovino's bluff but Hercules and Kiku agreed with him. That information blew my mind.

"_JUST_ rice!? No way! What about the meat?!" I asked and shoveled another spoonful of the sticky white kernels into my mouth.

"Don't you know what the fuck a depression is?" Lovino countered. "Oh wait, of course not, you prissy priss. Get used to it."

"How do people get their protein?" I asked, still in shock.

"Well in the U.S.S.R, they practice cannibalism." Kiku informed me.

"THEY EAT PEOPLE!?" I cried, ready to loose my lunch.

"Yes. There is no food. Wouldn't it be better to eat a child and feed yourself rather than let it die slowly of starvation and rot?" Hercules asked, taking another bite as if the thought wasn't at all repulsive.

"WHAT!? NO! OH MY GOD!" I cried and clapped a hand over my mouth to keep the vomit in.

"And in Germany-" Kiku began but was cut off by Lovino who knew how delicate my stomach already was.

"That is why we eat rice." Lovino stated matter-o-factly and took another bite. I slowly nodded in agreement. Rice was good. In fact, I _loved_ rice. It was much easier to swallow than human. We continued lunch in relative silence. I say relative because there would always be a meow or patter of paws to break the silence. This place had a serious infestation.

"Lovi, the work is done. Maybe we could read those letters?" I finally spoke up as I neared finishing my bowl of rice. Correction, my bowl of _delicious, magnificent, definitely not human_ rice.

"I said when we got home." He answered with a scowl.

"I'm excited~ I think I got letters from my friends." I told him. I had been thinking about the letters all day.

"Sure, whatever." He answered, pulling up a suspender strap. The other two men stood up and took their dishes away.

"There are _two_ from Germany. I'm willing to bet one is from your brother-"

"I don't have a brother." He interrupted and scowled down at the remaining white kernels, scraping his spoon against the walls of the bowl.

"Of course you have a brother. Feliciano." I insisted, a bit confused. Lovino never failed to confuse me. I loved that about him.

"I don't want that boy to be my brother." He clarified, using perfect diction.

"Lovi, that's not something you choose." A frown found a place on my lips. How could he not want a brother? He had family now. His brother was a nice boy too so I didn't see the problem.

"Well everyone else seems to be able to decide that so why not me? I don't want to be related to him." Lovino nervously ran his fingers under the elastic straps of his suspenders.

"What's wrong? Why don't you like him? He seems perfectly nice." I asked, thoroughly confused again.

"He's an asshole." He mumbled bitterly, still refusing the eye contact I was searching for.

"Lovino, what happened? You're not making sense." I pleaded again.

"He's not my brother!" He finally snapped, looking up at me with a hateful scorn in his eyes. "He's had a mother and a father and education and food. I didn't have any of that! He doesn't need me and I don't need him! As far as I'm concerned, some bitch dumped me and ran out. End of story." He growled and made a point of ending the conversation my taking his bowl and storming off to the kitchen. Needless to say, I was on his heels.

"Lovi! Is that what this is about!?" I asked. Lovino chucked his bowl into the sink with a clatter. He squirted more soap than ever necessary into the pit of hot water and forcefully scrubbed the dish.

"YES. _That_ is what this is about, got a fuck'n problem!?" He growled. I really didn't understand why this was working him up so much but I was set on defusing it.

"Lovi, talk to me." I whined. I kept my hands off him for now, knowing he was an unreadable ball of fire that was very capable of exploding. "None of that was your brother's fault. Surely you could forgive him?"

"I don't need him in my life. He didn't exist for the first nineteen years so why the hell should he matter now!?"

"Common now, he's family. He hasn't done anything to deserve your hatred, he's just a boy too." That must have been the wrong answer. Lovino shot his head around to kill me with his haunting eyes.

"If you love him so much, why don't you marry him!? For fuck's sake! He took everything away from me! Shut up about my fuck head brother!?"

"Lovi, I'm not picking sides! I just don't want such a bad relationship for you two! I want you to love your sibling."

"He doesn't need my love! He's already got everyone else's, including my boyfriend's! Fuck you, fuck him, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" He yelled as well as slammed his fist against the counter and bit into his lip to hold back the yell I was sure was boiling in him. My expression shifted from frustration and anger to sadness and sympathy. This had obviously been hurting him quite a bit. Regardless to what my mother claimed, Lovino didn't get worked up over nothing. If something was bothering him, it was _really_ bothering him.

My eyes fluttered down to his hand that was still balled up on the counter. "You hurt your hand." I whimpered very softly and let my body finally relax.

"It's fuck'n fine." He looked away. His voice was cold but it still told me he had relaxed, which I was thankful for.

"Can I see it?" I asked in a friendly tone, slowly luring him to me like a wild animal.

"I said it's _fine_." He growled, starting to get a bit antsier. I had learned how to take care of him by now. He was in a situation that was easy enough to work him down from. Tears in his eyes told me he was not only frustrated but in pain. All I had to do was take away the pain and the rest would melt off easily.

"Please, tomata? That looks like it hurt quite a bit." Lovino considered my proposal. He obviously knew it hurt but he didn't know if he wanted to submit just quite yet. He still seemed to have some fight left in him. Eventually he lifted the hand and put it in my awaiting one.

"Whatever, just stop nagging me, Grandma." Lovi sighed. I gently flipped the hand onto either side and inspected. The carpet burns from his tantrum yesterday were still there and now accompanied by a forming bruise. I traced my finger roughly over the splotch in search of inner traumas. A few winces and curses later, I had deduced that he hurt the little finger. Poor Lovi. Kissing didn't seem to fix it which pretty much exhausted my list of cures.

"Kiku!" I called loud enough for him to hear me from his nestling spot in the dining room. Some pitters later, the little Asian appeared in the doorway. I waited before remembering that he wouldn't enter an occupied room unless invited. "Come in, come in." I called. He scuttled in as I lifted Lovino by the hips and sat him on the counter.

"You called?" He asked and nervously looked between us, hoping he could answer his own questions.

"Lovi hurt his finger, could you look at it for me? I tried kissing it." I mentioned and gestured to the stubborn injury. Kissing it should have worked. Kiku chuckled but politely covered his mouth with his long sleeve.

"No, I don't believe that is an adequate treatment. May I see?" He asked and held a hand out to Lovino. The Italian complied. Kiku had such delicate movements, he was like a ballerina or something. He used just the soft tips of his fingers to angle the hand. I was pretty jealous. I wished I could be that soft with Lovino. My hands were huge compared to his little boney ones. Maybe once he picked his weight back up they'd grow but until then, I was a lion trying to handle a lamb.

"He has dislocated his digitus minimus. Please get the warm water running." The black haired boy said in his usual flat voice. Neither him nor Hercules seemed to be very expressive people. The same didn't go for Lovino though. He looked around with panicked and scared eyes, finally pinning them on me.

"Don't worry." I tried to sound reassuring. With the sink now running hot, I picked Lovino back up. Instead of protesting, he wrapped his legs around me and buried his face in my shoulder. I held Lovino securely and brought him to the sink. Kiku, after prying his arm away from me, pulled Lovino's hand under the water. This was it.

I whispered comforts to him and bounced him lightly like a baby. In one sharp pop and a yelp, the finger was fixed. Lovino was given back his arm and it wrapped around my neck along with the other, holding their owner tight to me. I knew this wasn't a reflex of fear anymore, he was doing this to make good our prior argument. I continued to bounce the boy and loop my arms under his bum, supporting him until a flash in the corner of my eye blinded me. Both our heads shot to the source.

The Japanese man was holding a camera and blushing hard. "Excuse me. It is company policy that I document these things." He lied. While I laughed, Lovino scowled and jumped down from my hold. He was so cute~

Kiku let me bandage his finger, stopping me a few times to tell me I was doing it wrong. We cut a chopstick in half (surprisingly easy), and wrapped his finger against it with gauze. I was very proud of myself when we finished.

I finished cleaning and stocking the kitchen for Lovino. It was done in a fraction of the time it took Lovino since I was stronger and taller. He refused to admit to this. Once I was done an hour later, Lovino agreed to let me read him the letters. We started with the one from my friend Francis. It read:

"_Hello dear Antonio,_

_I have missed you so dearly, my friend. I'm taking a long trip back to my home country to help with the war relief. France is in complete despair. Nothing but rubble and crumpled spirits walk the street. Normally, I would oppose such physically labor but when faced with a sight like this, I have no choice. _

_Of course, most of my relief efforts are dedicated towards the spirits rather than the buildings. Do not misunderstand! It is hard work as well! So many sad girls walking the streets with nobody to love them! Can you imagine? I must try my hardest to bring back their happiness! (don't get me wrong, men need relief too. I am a very generous person.)_

_Now, less about me, more about you. How is Italia? I've heard Italians are very easy, if you know what I mean. If I were you, I'd hit the town and have a party with that legendary Italian wine. I've heard it does wonders. Nothing compared to French wine of course!_

_You've always been such a player, I hope you find some nice company out there. Ones that can satisfy your craving~ I joke, I joke. I know you don't find interest in the same things I do. In all honesty, I really hope you are happy and maybe even lucky in the ways of love. _

_Say hello to Mama for me and convince her to loosen her leash! You are twenty four, man! Stand up to her already. Remember to write me back! I'll start calling if you're getting too late. _

_Au revoir,_

_Francis."_

I tried to stop reading after a few sentences but Lovi stole it and read the rest aloud. When he finished, he looked over to me with a smirk. "Tapping much ass, Toni?"

It was my turn to blush. "It's not like that! Francis is just a pervert!" I exclaimed in denial. True, I had slept around quite a bit in my prime but I didn't need to bring that up in front of Lovi! Francis, that bastard!

"Just want to let you know…if I find out you slept with anyone from this point on, I'll castrate you with my bare hands." The innocent looking boy said, stabbing me with an evil smirk.

"Never Lovi! I swear!" I cried in desperation. Lovino laughed softly, his painful smile melted into a sincere one.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm not worried." The tone of his voice was surprisingly kind but also tinted with hurt. If I had known I'd meet Lovino one day, I would have denied all of them. I'd have run to Italy so our futures could have started sooner. "Smile, you idiot. I'm not mad at you." He said, reading my expression.

"Let's read the letter from Gilbert." I changed topic with a smile. " He moved to Germany with his little brother right before I moved here." I ripped the wax seal off and opened the envelope. It read:

"_Hey Tonio!_

_What up bro? We agreed to send each other letters after a month, remember!? I forgot and even I got mine out before getting anything from you. Franny is going to get all pissy! You know how freakishly infatuated with you he is!_

_Anyways, you can totally blame that on bad mailing system in Italy. How is Italy, by the way? I bet you miss me. Try not to cry too much._

_Germany is just how I remember it… not. Some freaky shit is going on over here. They're doing rallies or something. There's lines of soldiers everywhere and the air raid siren goes off at least four times a week. We have yet to experience any actual attacks and I have no idea who's attacking but it's really freaking me out. I'm going to save up money so we can move back to Spain._

_Ludwig wanted to help with finances. He's such a good little brother~ He's working with the police as security in foreign affairs. He's been gone for the past week. He's guarding a group of missionaries that stopped in the town next door. He'll be back next week with a handsome check._

_He's only sent me one letter. It was very short and mostly just mumbo jumbo about the weather and what flower is blooming this time of year. I worry for his sanity._

_I have a feeling that something bad is happening here. Not bad as in, depression and hunger but bad as in real bad. World devastating. Italy, being an allie, is in just as much danger. I suggest, as your friend, that you move back to Spain. Shit is coming down._

_Wow, this letter ended up being quite the bummer. On a lighter note, I found a little bird! I followed me around for a whole day so I decided to keep it. I wanted to name it Gilbird but Luddy said that was self-centered and stupid. He's such a bully! He didn't even have a name suggestion! He just told me I should put it back where it came from and get a pet rock. Rocks are no fun._

_You're lucky you don't have a brother with the world's largest stick shoved up his ass. I'm just kidding, I love him. I love you too, Toni! I hope your learn how to do a decent cartwheel. Handstands are getting old._

_Peace out,_

_That really awesome guy you know."_

I looked at Lovino who nervously looked back. There was going to be a _war_…my god…

"My brother is in Germany. Read his letter. Now." He demanded, not arguing the brother complex any longer. I could see he was truly afraid. I quickly opened the last letter and fiddled the papers out. They read:

"_Fratello,_

_In many ways, Germany is beautiful but it is also so broken. There will be war. This is a fact I am certain of. There is a dictator here that is more powerful than any man I have ever seen. Millions follow him. I can hear their chanting echo day and night from towns away. For once, I am grateful I don't know what their saying._

_There is evil here that is stronger than most. They town you live in is small so you have yet to see the armies of jets and lines of soldiers. Still, I fear that day will come soon. Leave Italy. That country is as uncertain as this. There will be bombs and fires… There will be terror._

_When I arrive in Czechoslovakia first, we were housed along the outskirts of the country. We spent two weeks educating the people of Prague about the word of the lord. The people there are very afraid. They know what is to come. Honestly, I'm not sure if I took a single breath while I was there. The entire town fell heavy with death and pain. Instead of playing hopscotch, the children would pretend to be soldiers and took turns capturing each other. The worst part was, the parents participated in this game. They taught the victim children where and when to hide. They spent the whole day mastering the art of stealthy escapes. _

_The next town we went to was Chemnitz Germany. There, we had to be escorted in by special guards to ensure our safety. They stayed in the camp with us day and night. I made friends with a boy named Ludwig. He's two years older than me but acts like a cranky old man. He's very funny._

_I've known Ludwig no longer than a week yet I feel that he's become the best friend I've ever had. I feel close to him, I love him like a brother. One day, he went on a walk with me to a field not far away. We spent the whole day there. I told him about the flowers that are blooming around this time of year and he, in return, made them into a crown for me._

_We've been talking about him coming with us, leaving Germany. It would be easy enough to sneak him out but he refuses to leave his brother. I can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea of leaving him here…in this war…_

_I really want to take him with us! I don't know why. There is an awful nagging in my chest, it won't let me leave him. I can't even sleep without seeing him in my dreams. Maybe if we found a way to take his brother with us…_

_Until then, I plan to stay in Germany. This feeling must be the work of God's plan. I must trust him in such a time of fear and confusion. He knows what is right and he's telling me that staying with Ludwig is right. _

_I am scared. I am terrified. I am so confused I question which hand is right and which is left. Brother, I pray to God for peace but I am sure it won't be sent soon. Leave Italy, hide in the hills and away from the shore. _

_God be with us all,_

_Feliciano Varges.__"_

Silence followed for a long time. A long, painful time. The hand on the clock echoed its haunting ticking through the room. Neither of us could put together what we had heard. When I finally heard Lovino's breath pick up, half an hour hand passed. A trembling breath, then words, "Antonio…oh god…what are we going to do…?" He whispered, unsure of every syllable.

I had no answer. None. My brain was empty. I answered through my silence as I tried to wrack my brain and force the gears to creak back to life. Silence…silence…silence…..

"Lovino?" I finally murmured, picking my head up from its rest in my palms. Golden honey orbs answered me, obviously holding back tears for the second time today. "I have an idea…"

"What?" He asked in more of a statement than a question. His voice quietly shook out of his tired throat.

"We'll go on an adventure. How about it? The greatest stories of our lives." I offered, flashing him a smile I was just starting to believe in.

"What the hell are you talking about?" As the thought evolved, my heart started picking up pace.

"I'm talking about you and me. We'll get in the car with a few bags and go. First to Germany to get Gilbert, his brother and Feliciano then we'll go to Spain. Drop them off in a small town and that's it. Done. We find a cottage and live out our lives in the happiest ways possible." I sounded insane, I already knew that. Go into the center of a terror-stricken country, shove five people into a little car then illegally immigrate them one thousand miles. Didn't really sound like peaches and cream.

"What about family? You have a life here." Lovi countered.

"Franny was right. I'm a man now. I love my mama, always have and always will but now it's time to start the rest of my life. I have friends in need of help and a house in need of settling and a beautiful, _beautiful_ boy that I love more than life. I need to start my life now. I'll tell her where I'm going and why but now I have to take care of _my_ family." I answered, growing more and more passionate with my idea.

"This is insane! It's dangerous beyond freak'n belief!" He exclaimed.

"That's what makes it so perfect! It's an _adventure_ Lovi. It's our future….. will you go with me?" My voice wavered, not as sure as I was. I prayed he'd say yes. I could never leave without him. That familiar silence resounded again. Lovino watched the ground intensely and rubbed away the exhaustion manifesting in his temples.

"You're an idiot." He finally sighed out. My smile was wider than a rainbow at that moment.

"Is that a yes?" I asked, overwhelmed with excitement. My lungs rapidly filled with then released sweet air. I could _feel_ the adrenalin as it coursed my veins and pumped through my whole body.

"This is the stupidest fucking idea in the history of ever." His voice raised a notched and even cracked.

"That sounds like a yes!" I cried, almost shaking off my seat. The Italian's head lifted and met my bubbly green eyes with his deeply determined hazel ones. A smirk quirked onto the corner of his mouth.

"That's a hell yes."

(Yay! Thank you every one! I'm very excited! I plan on updating again this weekend so I hope you're all up for that. Also! Bonus! Remember that little intermission story in chapter eight called BLOG FAIRY? Once I wrote that, the ideas just began to bloom so the first chapter is up on my home page! It has changed a bit from the original story but if you want to check that out, it would put a little skip in my heartbeat. Till later, bye!)


	12. The secret origin of Lovino

Chapter 12.

(WARNING: Foul language, profanities. Offensive language/terms. Religious themes. Speak of 'butts', fluff. Also, some characters have a lot of different human names so I just chose whatever seemed to work. I'm sorry if they're not your favorites.)

Antonio's P.O.V.

At that moment, our bodies ran into each other and we both received the tightest, most bone crunching hug of our lives.

I couldn't believe this was actually going to happen…we were _actually_ doing this! It was beautiful!...and then terrifying. The truth of the matter hit me like a ton of bricks. We were two gay men, running into the center of an extremely Catholic and extremely crazy country so we could get two more gay men plus a white hair freak-child then cheat them out of the country…yup pretty terrifying. Cold sweat began to bead at the back of my neck. My bones hallowed and I felt ready to collapse.

"Calm down already." A muffled voice replied from a face buried in my chest, "I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't think we could really do it."

"Lovino…I love you. I just want you to be okay." I said back in a low, relaxed voice.

"Did you _see_ what happened to that Vito kid yesterday?" He asked, pulling his face up and flashing me a truly happy smile.

"Kiku hit him with a stir-fry pan?" I asked, smiling back down.

"I mean before when he was reduced to tears by my heart-wrenching insults. He was begging for mercy as I stood before him and crushed his soul using only my words." The little one smiled triumphantly.

"Well, unfortunately, I wasn't around for that part but I'll believe it all." I began to dance us slowly around the room with Lovino's feet resting atop mine.

"He tried to call for his friends to save his dumb ass but all they could do was watch in horror. None of them dared to enter the pen while _this_ bull was loose!" He called, retelling the whole story with his voice. I landed a kiss on the short mess of red hair and muttered "Olé~" that comment turned our waltz into a messy tango. I had been teaching Lovino how to dance but it was a hard thing to learn. I admit though, while he might have not known the moves, he was a beautiful dance. His little body was _made_ for the art. It was smooth and gentle but also quick and hot. Amazing. Samba flowed through him as naturally as blood.

"But the last thing he said was, 'oh please! Please! Don't call that big scary boyfriend guy of yours!'." I loved the smile he was wearing as casual as a shirt.

"Of course he did, mi pequeño mentiroso~(my little liar)." I let one hand fall to the small of his back and received a glare.

"Hey, that was Spanish again! What did you say?" He demanded to know.

"I called you my little angel." I clarified.

"Idiot! I know that one! That's 'angelito'!" Shit. I didn't expect him to catch that. I should have known better, that word was very easily translated.

"Did I say angel? Lo siento. I'm getting old, I forget things. I meant blessing." I said.

"Whatever, you old fart." A tiny laugh escaped. I slowed our dancing to a stop.

"You truly are a blessing." My voice floated on the air before softly resting on his head. He nuzzled his cheek against me in a way that showed me how truly warm he could be. I loved this boy.

A flash. Dammit! I turned my head quickly but the little man was already gone. God damn Kiku! Lovino pushed himself off me. "That tiny bastard!" He growled. I pet his head once, causing his attention to be pulled back to me. The frown remained but the eyes softened.

"We should go home now Lovi, I don't want the rest to be documented." I sent him a sly smile. His frown deepened as did the bush cascading across his face.

"Fuck you! I'm not doing anything like that with you!" He snarled, flashing glimpses of white teeth.

"I didn't say it, you did." We continued to bicker the whole way home, even approaching the subject of which color was the better than all the others. We both agreed it was red.

I swung the big doors open. The giant marble hall greeted us with its usual cold breeze and scent of carpet cleaner. Yup, home.

"Antonio?" A woman's voice called. It was a voice I recognized from my many years of exposure to it. It was the voice that sang me lullabies and that clicking sound was the sound that warned me of her movement without fail.

"Si, mama!" I called loudly. Lovino cringed. I had forgotten he was right at my side. Oops. I whispered a short apology. He accepted by punching me in the arm.

"You're home early." She noted. I watched her appear from the hallway and make her way towards us.

"Si, Lovi hurt his finger so Hercules said we could leave early." I told her. She lovingly ran a hand through my hair and pressed her bright red lips against my forehead.

"Is that right, well I hope he feels better soon." She greeted the Italian with a sideways glance, "Well, I have more work to do so-"

"Actually, I wanted to talk with you." Her eyes widened ever so slightly and sent me a questioning look.

"About what?" She asked.

"I got letters from my friends…in Germany." That last part seemed to make her understand. She nodded and started to walk off to her office. I dragged Lovi with me and followed. We entered the big room. It was by far the messiest room in the house since the maids were not allowed to clean it. Papers upon paper created messy stacks. Three file cabinets in the back of the room were stuffed to the brim with manila folders, some accumulated on top of the metal storages. Some of the files simply laid loose in hills around the room. The most noticeable feature though either had to be the millions of fountain pens that seemed to have been produced by the desk or the human-high stack of home and garden magazines.

Me and Lovi sat in the leather chair that faced my mother's placement at her desk. Actually, I sat in it and pulled Lovi unwillingly into my lap. My mother wasn't a fan of this position but I pretended to not notice.

"So, what is it more specifically that you wanted to talk about?"

Mama's P.O.V.

Once the words left my lips, I instantly regretted it. The nervous look on my boy's face told me it wasn't going to be something I would like.

"Well…you remember Gil and his brother, right?" I nodded, he continued. "Well they moved back to Germany about a month or so ago and he's been telling me about the war starting there." He told me with the same innocent smile he had manipulated his whole life. To me, this all sounded like 'blah, blah, blah, I'm going to go do something really stupid in a war engulfed country then elope with the Italian'.

"They can't afford to leave right now so I was thinking me and Lovi could drive up there and get them." I was disgusted in the fact that I could predict this.

"So you wanted to take your little rick-rack car into the pit of a homicidal nation, shove two more people in then try to run out before they notice. I'm on track here, right?" I asked. It sounded crazier when I said it.

"Actually, three. Lovino has a little brother there too." He said. I wasn't sure if I was actually banging my head on my table as hard as I could or if it just felt that way. Nobody told me being a single mother was so hard.

"Antonio…what on Earth is going on in your head? Did you fall or something?" I tried to keep my voice at a level of collectedness.

"No, I'm fine!" He insisted. I was wondering how soon I could have him checked out. "Then we plan on going back to Spain to avoid the trauma of war."

"That's it? Attempted suicide then running off Yodel Mountain and never seeing me again?" I asked, my voice getting more anxious. I couldn't just _not_ see my baby anymore!

"I didn't say that! In fact, you should move too. Italy isn't safe. I'm going to take care of the family I've started and I really suggest you do the same." He spoke every word like an adult. It was so wrong. I was used to a little curly haired boy calling to me for everything and holding his sticky little fingers out for my hair.

"The family you've created!?" I demanded.

"Yes. _MY_ family. I have a lover. I've got his sibling and my friends. That's my family." He told me with a serious tone. He wasn't joking. This wasn't like playing house as a child anymore. This was real. He was replacing me like I had replaced my parents. My heart tried to tug it's way free from my ribs.

"Antonio…" I said softly, not sure what else I _could_ say.

"Mama. I love you. I will always love you but…I have to take care of the other people I love now. I have to take care of my family in the way I know to be fit." He answered.

Oh god…he was a man. It finally hit me. He was my husband but younger. He was grown up… my baby…the little crying ball of fat that I used to hold against my chest and cradle was now getting ready to do that to someone else.

There in no way I could describe this feeling. Astonished…disbelief…those words were close but still too far. I suppose it might be similar to what a man feels after seeing his daughter in a wedding dress for the first time. The Italian was the wedding dress in this metaphorical sense. When I saw my boy with him, I knew he was being pulled away. I knew Lovino was going to take him somewhere else, somewhere away from me. I knew Lovino was going to be the thing separating us and driving Antonio to begin a whole world of his own.

I felt just as a father did about his daughter with the dress. They looked beautiful together. They fit together perfectly and they both knew it but I couldn't stop denying it. I didn't want him near that thing that was going to make him grow up and take him away. I had tried so hard to pull them apart but now…all there was left to do was accept it.

My boy was a man now. I had to let go… the decision was harder than any one I had made before but it was necessary. I kept reminding myself that every parent did this at one time or another. With a deep breath, I let the words leave, "Alright…I'm very proud of you Antonio."

His name felt strange. I used it as the name for an equal instead of the sweet call of my little baby. I was left wondering when things began to change. How could I have not noticed such a transformation? I looked to my son to see honest tears fill his eyes. Just as I began to lean over the desk to dry them, I was stopped by another amazing thing.

The little boy in his lap who was looking at his own hands suddenly noticed the silent change in Antonio's composure. I hint of worry spread over his face. I watched as he looked up and dried the falling tears. He began to speak to my boy words which I couldn't hear but words that were stopping the tears. It was beautiful. The two of them were perfect for each other. It was so evident, I was stupid for not seeing how great the two were. I was stupid for pulling them apart; I was stupid this whole time.

My boy was ready to leave. I had decided. I stood up from my seat, earning both their attentions. "Common, up you two. We've got to pack." I announced then walked out the door in my usual calm composure, heels clicking the whole way.

Lovino's P.O.V.

All three of us were in Antonio's room. He and his mother were sorting through clothes. Actually, it was more like Antonio's mother had turned into a typhoon of excitement and Antonio was trying to collect the debris. Something scary had clicked in the woman. I really had no idea what set it off but suddenly she was complete on board.

She rambled on about what we were going to need, traveling safety and how we should be eating healthy. Me and the Spanish boy were both stunned. We just sorta watched her go off and nodded with whatever she was saying.

"Don't forget about the turtles! They could infest your house if you live too close to the shore. Also, it's very sunny but it can get cold. Don't forget your scarf during the winter." She explained, dropping another pair of socks into the trunk she was working on.

"You're not staying in Italy, are you Mama?" Antonio asked, shutting the case and opening the next.

"I am. Not very long though, Aunty cut us off the family business. I need to stay till we can get the papers together." Two jackets were stuffed into the second trunk.

"Really!? I'll talk to her! She shouldn't-" Antonio began to protest.

"Nah, I didn't really like that job anyways." She interrupted, finishing the second case quickly and leading us over to my room next.

"It sounds like a great job! Helping farms and small businesses make their dreams come true~" A sort of dreamful tone worked its way into his voice.

"That's not what it was. You're a man now so you can know the truth, right?" She asked, looking to her son who just confusedly nodded. "That's what it used to be. Now we loan to the Italian mafia. Let's keep that just between us though." She opened a wide smile for both of us then continued to pack.

I had sort of been catching on to that but Antonio, on the other hand, looked as if someone just told him tomatoes don't exist. Fish faced, he had a good long staring competition with the wall (until the wall gave up).

"I'm sorry, I just thought you didn't need to know. Know you have the right to." continued to coolly pack my belongings into a trunk. It only took one since all I owned were those few clothes and the necklace I was currently wearing. She took the initiative to snap Antonio out of his shock. That I was thankful for. He looked just about ready to turn into a fish. (Gross fish kisses)

"Mama's so proud of how well you've grown up." She stood from her crouch and cupper the boy's face in her hands. "Now I can retire in peace, si?"

"You're going to retire?" He asked, sufficiently awoken.

"Of course. Mama is old now. (I was guessing early forties. Not necessarily old.) Now you're going to go off and make yourself a home, have a family. I'm done being busy. Maybe I'll move to Bora Bora." She rolled her eyes up a bit as she though. "Probably time to downsize. Maybe I'll do a two story this time."

Mrs. Carriedo wasn't a woman I could ever see not busy. Even at age eighty she'd still be shuffling around in high heels and bossing people around.

"So when are you and scrawny ass over there leaving?" She asked and oh-so-discretely jabbed a thumb in my direction. So I went from being 'the Italian' to 'scrawny ass'…joy.

"His ass is actually quite nice. Plump. Anyways, I was thinking tomorrow or the day after I don't want things swelling too much in Germany." Antonio said. A wink was thrown in my direction this time…from both of them. What the hell was with this family! They were all freaks!

"How about tomorrow, I've got a meeting the next day. We'll throw a nice little party." She suggested. We shared looks then accepted the proposition.

When Antonio's mother was leaving, I felt a sudden sharp pain in my rear and a quick squeeze. She was out the gone and out of sight before I could turn around. This act made Antonio became upset rather than giggly as I would have expected. He took my already confused body into his arms. In one swift move, a finger was hooked under the elastic of my trousers and undergarments. I didn't have time to collect or process my thought. The finger pulled back, allowing cold air to hit my bum and make me squirm."

"There'll be a mark…she did that on purpose!" He huffed and released my pants so the fit back against my body. Finally the thoughts collected and I reacted. I shoved the larger body away.

"Did you just look at my…my butt!?" I demanded and stood defensively with my feet apart.

"Am I not allowed to?" He cocked his head, honestly confused. That stupid idiot.

"No…not unless I say so!" I exclaimed, now feeling self-conscious about my rear. I swear to god, that was a new feeling.

"Can I see your butt then?" He asked. I could see him trying to grasp this new concept of dignity.

"No! you can't just ask people to see their butt!" I tried to explain.

"Not people, just you. Can I see_ your_ butt?" He clarified.

"No!" Why didn't he understand!? Did he usually go around and just look at people's butts?

"Maybe later?" He tried again. All the heat in my body rushed to my face.

"…..maybe later..." I whispered. It was barely audible but loud and clear to Antonio the bat child.

"Okay Lovi, maybe later~ I get it." He seemed very proud of himself for being able to grasp this concept. I reached out quickly and took his hand. I tugged it twice, telling him I wanted to go now. He was able to read my food-lusting thoughts without effort. While we went down for dinner, I couldn't help but think about how big his hands were (Weird, I know). I wanted to hurry and put on weight so that I didn't feel like a child anymore. His hands were always warm. His calluses made a soft but tuff touch on my skin; it left every spot with a deep burning sensation. I wondered what I'd have to do to be more like that.

I prepared dinner for the both of us. The maids had stopped even asking if they were needed in the kitchen. Toni often became impatient when I was cooking. This problem was easily solved my spreading a bit of puffed rice over the table. While he felt like he was eating, he was actually just running around the table and amusing himself. Easy peasy.

Dinner was out soon enough. We managed to prove the theory that nagging _doesn't_ make it cook any faster. Who'd have thought?

I had very few tricks for getting the hyperactive twitch to stop talking during a meal. It was practically his favorite time to talk. I continued to murder my vegetables with the fork. Why wouldn't he just shut up!? What was worse, he didn't just babble on and stare at the clouds. Of course not, that would be too convenient. Actually, on the contrary, he constantly asked my opinion . Every question ended with "Right, Lovi?" or "Is that how it works?" or "What do you think?" or even "Have you ever heard of that? Isn't it just the craziest thing?".

It was like he didn't even _know_ how to shut up. I tried giving him a glare and telling him to eat before the food got cold. That only made it worse. The bastard knew how to eat and talk without choking.

"For god's sake! If I let you look at my butt tonight, will you shut up!?" I asked. Perhaps with a bit more volume than I had intended. A soft echoed followed to remind me of what I just agreed to.

The Spaniard's eyes widened with excitement. He made a hand motion over his lips that I assumed was metaphorical zipping. Well…at least it was a silent one. I wasn't in the least bit thrilled to hold up my end of the deal (no irony intended) but can you really blame me? I wasn't a fan of showing people where my poop came from. The idea, to me, was disgusting. Why Toni wanted to see a lump of fat, I had no idea. If that's what it took to shut him up, fine. He was going to see it sooner or later.

The silence through dinner was a double-edged sword. On one hand, I was able to relax, breathe and think. On the other(less favorable) hand, I had to let Antonio look at my butt. I wondered if normal couples had difficulties such as these. Then again, I was the only one with Antonio so maybe every moment was divinely unique.

After dinner, Antonio took a shower. He came to find me later and must have had a panic attack when he realized I wasn't in my room. He found me in the library taking another stab at Oliver Twist. The damn thing. I read the next passage aloud over the ragtime I was blasting on the phonograph to help me think.

"…he had sustained severe internal injury and damage, from which he was at that moment suffering the acutest torture." I read carefully. Sometimes reading slower helped the words sink in. Not this time. None of that made sense to me! Italian was my first language! I thought in Italian, I dreamt in Italian. My English vocabulary consisted of the basics, what I picked up on the street and my sounding out of bible verses. I didn't need English, that shit language! Everyone knew God was Italian anyways.

Antonio walked in on me just as I was throwing the book to the ground. He pulled the pin off the record then calmly retrieved the book. As we did every night, he sat in the big velvet armchair with me in his lap. He would hold the book in front of us and read aloud. My job was to follow along with my finger and be able to summarize the page. I had gotten quite a bit better since we started. We were able to cover five pages every night. Reading always stopped when I began to get tired and my finger was no longer able to trace the words as fast as Antonio could speak them.

Most nights he walked me back to my room but sometimes I was carried. It depended on how much he made me read that day. Once my lids drooped and didn't blink back to life, it was carrying time.

Tonight, we stopped after four pages, completed in record time. Thanks to these lessons, I could read at amateur level, I could multiply two digit numbers and I could read a bar of sheet music. We walked up stairs; I turned to my door and expected his hand to slowly slip off as it usually did. Instead, it kept its grip and pulled me towards his room.

"Lovi~" A thickly accented voice reminded me. Oh yeah…butt showing time. Dammit. I grumbled and followed as promised. Let no one ever say I wasn't a man of my word.

We entered his room quietly. Once our bodies were safely hidden by the door, I felt a big, warm hand run itself over my head then down my cheek. His thumb gently reached out to stroke circles on my skin. Dammit! He was being romantic! I was hoping it would be like flash and goodnight. Soft brown lips parted and matched themselves to mine. My resistance always faltered when we did things like this. I kissed back tenderly, rubbing pink skin against brown. I gasped, breaking the kiss. There was something on my behind. From the squeezing sensation, I assumed it was a hand.

"I said you could look, not touch." I corrected and stubbornly shook my hips free.

"I am looking with my hand." He answered in a velvety voice.

"Look with your eyes or do nothing." I used a stern accentuation, the hand met my body again but instead it stroked up and down the side of my frame. The hand was heavy but not painfully. His fingers glided over the still prominent bones. I hated those. I had started eating regularly but I had yet to regain normal form under my clothes.

"Is this okay then?" He asked, trying to lure me to him with his voice. I already knew that trick.

"I'd rather you not." I answered. The fingers stopped.

"You usually like that." He whined in confusion. It was true. I liked his gentle grooming motions but I did not like the body he was touching. He noticed when I nervously cringed away.

"Lovi…you like it when I stroke you. What's wrong…?" An arm wrapped around my waist, trying to calm me with physical interaction.

"Nothing's wrong. Just look at my butt and let me go to sleep." I ordered.

"I don't want to look at your butt." The answer caught me off guard.

"What? Then what the hell are we doing here!?" This was confusing me. I was sure his attention had been at my rear earlier and he verbally confirmed desire for it but now…nothing?

"I just wanted to have some close time with you. Make you feel relaxed and I'm obvious I'm not doing a very good job of it." He told me before starting to work his arm into a small stroking motion.

"How the hell is my butt going to make me relaxed?" I turned cold on his touch.

"I've studied Anthropology since I was young. A mammal's confidence in their rear is a large part of happiness and pride." He told me, letting his strokes grow until he was running his fingers along my spine.

"That's stupid! I'm not some monkey." I objected.

"That's true." It was then I noticed the adoption of full strokes again. I instinctively pulled myself away only to find I was held by an arm on the small of my back.

"A dominate ape would move in forcefully now. " One of his legs forced in between mine and he got close, raising his shoulders. "See, I invade your most personal of spaces, between your legs. I also display my true height, look down on you, and the fight is over."

Stupid idiot! He starts off sweet and then goes on talking about apes!? He released his position, putting space between us and smiling kindly.

"Now this would be a comfortable position for you. I give you the dominance by keeping my distance and going into a submissive pose." He demonstrated, holding his own hand and covering his private area.

I gave him a questioning look before sighing and relaxing "This is so fucking stupid. Just come here and kiss me already."

A short laugh and soft hands on my hips greeted me along with a passionate kiss. Just when I thought this ape game of Toni's was over, he just _had_ to open his mouth.

"Since you accepted my submission and we shared mutual affection, this would be the time for me to mount you and get busy. You see, apes are quite rude-"

Antonio's P.O.V.

My words were stopped mid-sentence by a warm sweetness in my mouth. Strange…that feeling reminded me of Lovino's kisses. Fancy that. Lovino was kissing me…very passionately.

I didn't compose myself till it was too late and he pulled away. Damn it, I had to work on my reflexes. I just stupidly stared at him.

"I swear to god, one more word about monkeys and you will _never_ see my butt." He told me sternly, sufficiently earning the dominant role. He waited only long enough for me to nod before he left my room and went into his own. God, I loved that boy…he was perfect.

He never wanted to play along with my stupid games but I didn't care at all. Nope. That was just how he was. Lovino preferred straight up affection unless he was feeling self-conscious which I was sure he was. It was my goal to convince him of his beauty someday.

I fell asleep somewhat late that night. I was too concentrated on the travels I had ahead. I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep Lovino safe. I wasn't sure we would come out this with our freedom…or if we would come out of this at all. I would never deny being afraid. Afraid was _exactly _what I was.

I thought about the possibilities. We could slip up some how. We could say the wrong words, our engine would fail on the border, we could be bombed before we even got there. When I finally slept, it was because of the pure desperation in my body for rest.

In my dream, I was in Germany with Lovino. The only way I knew where I was came from the fabled lines of soldiers and the deep growls of falling bombs that surrounded us. Lovino was afraid. He cried and wailed. No matter how hard I tried, I could settle the little one.

Soon, we had gained everyone's attention. Soldiers came towards us, evil intent in their eyes. Lovino began to scream. The men grabbed the both of us and began to pull away. I tried to hold on to the Italian! I screamed and I fought and I kicked. My efforts were useless. They were stronger. They took Lovino farther and farther away. I remember screaming and sobbing until-

_Thump._

The dream became fuzzy but continued to play. He was taken farther away. He screamed my name and-

_Thump._

The images began to fade. The men stopped taking him away. Instead, they held Lovino still. One soldier lifted his rifle and pressed the end of the nick right against his temple. Lovino's face was…oh God. It was fear. Complete terror. I fought uselessly against those who restrained me. I screamed until I could not anymore. A single tear dripped down my boy's face. His lips silently spelled out 'I love you' and then-

_Thump._

My eyes shot open and consciousness flooded over me like a tidal wave. Lovino was there. This time he was real but the scared face he held in my dream was still there. It was focused on me.

_Thump._

His hands on my chest pushed down hard again to resuscitate me. Had he been the one doing that? It seemed so.

"Are you awake?" He asked in a weak, petrified voice. He pumped his heart-attack-revival routine again.

"Si, si…" I answered and felt how hoarse my throat had become. Lovino instantly embraced me in a tight hug. I was as clueless as I could be. What had happened? I had been dreaming, right? So I must be awake now which meant Lovino was _really_ in my room and he _really was_ crying and holding onto me for dear life. Wait…what?

"Lovi? What's going on?" I asked. This was definitely out of character for him. I thought that maybe he had a bad dream too.

"Y-You were-a…c-crying and-a screaming a-a-and it was-a really freaking me out!" He answered with an unusually thick accent then settled so he could take a few sobbing breaths before he was ready to continue. "I-a came in-a here th-thinking you had were-a being murdered or something…b-but you were o-only-a sleeping! So…so I-a tried to wake you up and-a you wouldn't!"

I placed a hand softly on that back of his head and stroked. So _that_ was it…poor Lovi. "Hush… hush, bambino." I cooed to the boy who was practically vibrating.

"Stupid-a bastard!" He cried, squeezing my neck harder. I took his little body and easily pulled it onto the bed, nestled between the wall and me so that I could cradle him like he needed me to.

Little mumbles of swear words could be heard through the tears he was trying to silence. Finally only one word was repeated. It was my name. He called my name very quietly till his hard breathing subsided and the tears stopped. I continued to pet him and shush him in the course of his panic and even afterwards. He fell asleep just like that.

I brushed silky red hairs away from his face. His warn olive skin was soft under my fingers and his relaxed face was the ultimate settle to my nerves. It wasn't long until I followed in slumber. This time I didn't dream. I held my good-hearted lover protectively until I awoke at a quarter till seven.

Lovino was still asleep, breathing softly against my neck and creating a little spot of heat there. Koala bear child's entire body wrapped around mine. His face was so happy…so at peace. I wished to preserve that moment forever. There was no way in hell I was going to wake him up.

The Italian boy wore only faded red boxers, making the freckles on his chest now clearly visible. They gave me another thing to add to my 'Reasons Lovi is just too cute' list.

Each breath emitted a high-toned sigh noise into a sleepy lullaby. His hair had thickened since I first met him (food really does wonders for your body) and now his eyelashes were of countess supply. My hand slowly stroked from his head down to his hip repeatedly. To this, his cuddled in further and blushed…even in his sleep~

I spent tow hours doing this. I rhythmically stoked his body and combed my fingers through his hair. I was quite religious about it. I knew where he should be touched and how often. Finally a small grumble accompanied the flickering open of his eyes. Those infamous gilded orbs met mine with a half-lidded weariness.

I smiled and pressed my lips between his eyes in welcome to the real world. He only responded my moaning and falling back asleep. As mush as I wished to let him sleep, it was already nine o'clock which meant if we weren't down for breakfast, there would be none. I gently sat up. Lovino growled at me for removing the heat and comfort in his position.

"I'm sorry, mi amour, but we must wake up~ the day is new and we must grow older." I told him, petting his head.

"I don't wanna." A muffled voice answered; the boy squirmed to make himself more comfortable. I wedged my hands under his arms and dragged the limp torso up. He gave me a close-eyed glare but let me handle him, too lazy to fight. I repositioned the little one onto my lap.

"Common Lovino. You don't want to sleep all day, do you?" I asked, knowing it was a stupid question.

"I want to sleep forever." He grumbled.

"They I must too." I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Don't be stupid. Go eat breakfast, I don't care." He yawned.

"I don't intend to leave bed if you don't." My answered prompted Lovino to finally open his eyes. He looked questioningly at me for a while before cursing and struggling off the bed.

"Common fatty, we'll eat if it's such a big fuck'n deal." He shuffled over to my drawers (Surprising, since he seemed to not even be looking where he was going). He pulled out one of my soft linen shirts and threw it over his head. I confirmed my suspicion that he had no idea what he was doing because the shirt he wore had the Spanish flag printed across it. No way Lovino would wear that if he were fully conscious…right? He had managed to confuse me once again.

I wrapped myself in my light blue bathrobe and followed the boy out. The shirt fell a little above his knees, his bare feet papped along the cold marble. For the first time, I noticed the absence of body hair on him. I knew he wasn't shaving so it must have been due to vitamin deficiencies. I knew this would be cured once his weight started to catch up with him but I also knew that if he wore a dress there would not be much distinction between him and a girl. I decided to keep this thought to myself, lest I loose a valued part of my body.

I was scolded by my mother once I arrived down stairs for being late to breakfast. Unfortunately, she also noticed Lovino and my appearances. My hair had was more disheveled and messy than usual due to Lovino's strange cuddling habits , this one being the nuzzling of heads. Lovino on the other hand was not only wearing my shirt without pants, he was also licking his lips tiredly and trying to stretch his spine out. A smirk pulled over her face.

"Hungry, boys?" She asked with evil intent. Lovi nodded and rubbed the slap mark on his rump without thinking. Dammit, he didn't even know how much worse he was making the misconception.

"That's not how it happened, Mama." I clarified and brushed down my hair a bit.

"You bottomed?" She asked teasing but still with genuine interest. Lovino seemed to have no interest in whatever we were talking about. He made his way around the kitchen, collecting food for his aching stomach.

"No! Mama!" I whined. I prefer to deny the thick red color painting my face at that moment.

"Hey, don't get pissy with me just because you're sore-"

"We didn't have sex!" I cried. The 'S' word caused Lovino's head to immediately pivot in my direction, ignoring the orange he had begun to peel.

"Is he lying to me, Lovi~?" She asked my love playfully . It took a few seconds for his sleepy head to mull her words out. He answered by giving a quick shake of the head and returning to another episode of fruit genocide.

"Well you better get working on that soon, Bambino." She coolly occupied herself with the newspaper in her hands. "He might loose his fighting spirit or give up all together."

"Common, Lovi. I'm taking you out for breakfast today." I said loudly to cover my mother's words (seriously, what kind of mother _was_ she!?). I quickly made my way around the kitchen and took his wrist. "You want to see Bella, right?" He nodded, not sure what was going on. "Good, we'll go see Bella." I forcefully brought him upstairs, abandoning the fruit.

"Let go of me, Toni! You're hurting my arm!" He whined once we were at the top of the stairs. On command, I release the limb I had been using to drag him around.

"Oh, sorry tomata." I rubbed the arm as if maybe I could just wipe off the damage. He forgave me, as displayed the quirky smile that I returned in full force. We both dressed and left rather quickly. Lovino looked so handsome in his army green trench coat and wool beret hat. Apparently he was predicting snow. I remembered to wrap a scarf around his neck before we left in case the clouds _did_ feel like gracing us with little cold flakes while we were out.

Lovino grumbled about the unusually cold weather and we both missed the large fireplaces back at home. Cold prickled up my skin with a devil's touch, making me cringe and huff. Thankfully, we arrived in the town soon and left the car not far from Bella's shop, called 'Bakkerij'. I just settled with calling it bakery (it's proper English name).

Bella was pleased to see us. Well, mostly Lovi. She greeted me and smiled for me but Lovi was still the object of her affection. She hugged the little one and kissed his cheeks and squished him as if he were her personal play-thing. I don't like to admit to jealousy but…hell. I was jealous. Lovino didn't even fight her! He just rolled his eyes and scowled.

A monstrously huge man stepped out from a room that I assumed the oven was in, taking the pounds of sweat dripping off him as a hint.

"Oh, Nathan! Look, Lovi's here!" Bella called excitedly.

The man (who I made sure to keep a close eye on) looked at the much smaller Italian boy. "Hey kid." He greeted and nodded. Lovino nodded back, obviously this was some sort of secret language. Nathan looked over to me with accusing green eyes. I might have shit my pants…_might_ have.

"Who's this?" His husky voice asked and his eyes made a little dart toward me.

"He's with me." Lovino answered, still engulfed in the girl's hold. "He's Antonio."

"Looks like a prissy priss." The inhumanly large man noted.

"Bingo." Lovino said with a flat tone.

I wasn't going to let this man talk down to me in front Mi Amour! I was supposed to be big and tough! I took a deep breath before trying to give Nathan a threatening expression. "Yeah? Well…well your hair looks funny!"

…..good one Toni… I'm sure he's crying deep down inside.

"Touché." He said suddenly, not changing his cool composer and going back to the ovens.

"I'm sorry. My brother has a hard time digesting and sometimes it makes him grumpy." I was _SO_ grateful that the man was out of earshot when Bella said that. Bella offered free danish pastries to her favorite, quote-on-quote, 'Little Punk'. I was ready to turn them down in the name of proper manners but Lovino snatched up the opportunity to receive free food before I could even open my mouth. He chose one with custard and walnuts. My choice was the cranberry jam filled one. We thanked her and began to walk with our hot treats. If Lovi could get us food just by being cute, we would have no problem making it on our own.

Our breathes created hot puffs of steam as we talked and shoveled the steaming pastries into our hungry throats. When they were gone, our legs had carried us all the way to a familiar white cathedral.

"Hey Lovi, let's go in!" I proposed and tugged his arm towards the building. He scowled and tugged against me.

"Why should we?" He growled and quickly licked clean his sticky fingers.

"Just one last time before we leave. It's very important to both of us." I begged until he gave in and came with me. The inside was cozy and warm. This was probably because if the hundreds of candles left as offerings to sculptures of religious figures and the pots of incense that hung in every corner.

It was silent apart from the coo of doves nestled in the rafters and the whispers of two elderly nuns praying in the back. I followed Lovino who already knew the place like the back of his hand. His feet made no noise as they slid across the floors to a carving of a man surrounded by children.

He stopped directly in front of the figure and dropped to his knees. I followed example.

"This is St. Jerome Emiliani, the patron saint of abandoned children." He explained after a minute of silent prayer. "That is why my mother left me here. This church is honored in his name." He bowed his head and closed his eyes. "The nuns named me Jerome, since I was in great likeness to him. He was a military commander in Venice. He always thought he didn't need God. He didn't want some one to lead him. He had his own soldiers and weapons. It wasn't until he was captured and imprisoned that he turned to God and begged forgiveness from his savior. When he was able to escape, he ran to this church and hung his chains upon the door. Jerome dedicated his life to helping the orphaned children. He became a father, a brother, a hope to those young and wounded souls."

I gently rubbed his back, feeling him get emotional. I took a few second to calm his breath then he continued. "My mother never planned on coming back for me. The people of the town gave me the name Lovino, meaning 'I ruin' after many years of misbehavior and uncontrolled spasms. After time, I eventually adopted that name. It seemed to fit much better." A hiccup and short sob could be heard but I decided to not disturb him.

"The nuns used to tell me the story of the night my mother left me here." He said quietly. I only nodded and listened patiently to the story he began to tell.

_A woman arrived at the church quietly in the dead of night with a crying and tossing infant in her arms. The nuns noticed the disturbance but decided to watch her cradle it in the courtyard rather than approach and frighten her._

"_Hush. Hush my sweet baby." She called softly to the infant. She had been wearily trying to quiet the baby for so long but it would only ever cry in her arms._

"_Why do you cry when I hold you? Why? Am I not your mother and you not my child? Stop crying, please child!" She plead and cried as well. The cold night's air hit her hard, causing her body to tremor. She continued to rock the child and try to calm it._

_Finally, Sister Marie cautiously approached the woman and invited her inside, saying there was a room for her and her child to sleep in and food for them to eat. The woman looked to the church nervously then to her baby boy who began to have another fit. In fact, it was his fifth fit that night._

"_Please, take my son inside. I cannot enter because I am a not a woman worthy of the lord's protection but my boy needs to be warmed." She handed the spasming child over to the nun who received with open arms. The moment the child was in the other woman's arms, his fits subsided and his crying eased into peaceful sleep. When the woman saw this transformation she began to sob. _

_She knew what was wrong. The child had a demon in its soul that could only be silenced by the work of the lord. She knew it was her fault. She had lived the life of a sinner for so long. She had slept with many other men before his father so that must have caused the devil to curse him as the son of a whore. It was her fault that her beloved baby had evil in him. She knew what she had to do._

_While the nun brought the infant inside, she began to run and spit prayers under her breath. She prayed for her son. Her only son. Her so loved son. She prayed that by submitting him to the lord, her sins could be forgiven and the child's soul would be saved. She didn't want her child to be damned because she had unfruitful wombs. She continued to run until she returned home._

_At the church, the nuns laid the child down to rest then went in search of the mother who was no longer in the courtyard. They searched and called for the young woman but they could find her no where. They gave up once the chill of the night made it impossible to continue. From then on, they cared for the child and waited for the woman to return. She never did. The child became the son of the lord and no one else._

When he finished his story, his sobs broke free. I wrapped my arms tenderly around him and cradled him in my arms. I cooed little words of reassurance. I hushed his cries and dried his tears till he found he could cry no more. Calmly rocked the shaking boy back and forth, I rested his head on my chest so his could rest his tired lungs.

I felt the rare emotion of sadness. I hurt even without physical pains. All I could think about was my poor Lovi. He was so hurt, so abandoned. Every tear he cried only made me more and more determined to settle him. His little body shook; course breaths filled our silence.

When he was done crying, I pulled him off my chest and dried the wetness on his cheeks. "You are far too beautiful to cry." I told him. I smiled softly, cupping one red cheek. A smile returned mine. Lovino chocked out a small laugh and dried one more of his falling tear. I was never going to leave him. I was never going to stop easing his soul when he cried. He was _my_ baby now and I was going to hold him whether he wanted me to or not.

I stood up, helping him up as well. "Let's walk, Lovi." I offered and took a slow step forward. He stepped forward as well. "It'll help you feel better." I reassured before beginning to walk hand-in-hand around the church, Lovino in tow. This helped him calm down remarkably. After four rounds, his was back to normal and I was more than happy to see that after he had been in such a sad state just minutes ago.

"Ah! Lovino!" A little old voice called. I broke out of my thoughts to see a nun approaching us. Well actually, she was approaching Lovino.

"Sister Aida." He said in a soft response and nodded his head respectfully before pulling his hand out of mine.

"I haven't seen you in a while. Have you been well?" She asked.

"Yes, I am quite fine." The nun nodded then looked to me.

"And who is this?" She smiled in my direction. I politely smiled back.

"This is Antonio. He's the brother of my fiancé." Lovino answered, causing me to panic for a fraction of a second before I realized what he was doing it. "We were just taking a walk. I got dizzy so he was just helping me around." He added. The nun happily shook my hand.

"It was nice to meet you but I should really get him home before my sister begins to worry." I excused us and we left. We made light conversation as we walked back to my car. By 'light conversation', I mean me teasing him about his deep love for my sister.

We stopped by Mikro Meros to resign our short lived employments. Kiku made sure to give Lovi his apron and also the three backups he had made. Hercules offered us a cat since he had heard that presents between friends were correct manners. We both denied that proposition quite quickly. After some good byes (Note: don't hug Kiku too tight, he _will_ faint), we went back home.

The day was spent finishing packing, picking tomatoes and napping. My mother never went into her office even once. She was either on the porch watching us and reading or following us around and telling us what we should know about running a house.

By the time dinner rolled around, a feast had been prepared. The entire table had been decorated with our fine china and carefully pleated linens. The meal was a celebration. A celebration of Lovino and I's love as well as our appending departure.

We toasted and cheered to the future of both families. Dinner was a four hour event filled with talk of plans, pasts, futures, weather, books and anything we could think of. By the end of the meal, both me and my love had been worn thin. We read half a page in Oliver Twist but quickly quit for the sake of our tired eyes. We collected the few books we were taking with us. They were: Oliver Twist, Treasure Planet, The Tale Of Two Cities, Mathmatics and Beyond, The Basics of Science and a family album dedicated to my life. We packed them into the last case, striped off our clothes and both fell dead into my bed.

The next morning came far too early for my tastes. I was enjoying cuddling Lovino too much to get out of my bed, even when my oh-so-kind mother dumped a cup of water on my head. She justified this by telling me it was already ten o'clock but I knew for a fact it was only nine fifty.

After breakfast, we loaded the trunk. I said my tear-filled goodbye to my mother. I promised to call her very often. She kissed me all over my face then began her attack on Lovino. She hugged the life out of the dear boy, complete with a squeeze to his rear just to spite me. With a few more shared good byes, me and my sweet love left.

The beginning of our new lives didn't feel as good as I thought it would. It was mainly a lot of tiredly staring at the road before us. Regardless, I was happy and I was sure Lovino's snores meant he was as well.

(Sorry I was a little late on that one! You'll notice that it's a bit longer than the others though. All comments, favorites and follows are greatly appreciated. Till next time, bye!)


	13. Germany

Lucky Chapter 13.

(WARNING: foul mouth, profanities, offensive language/ terms.)

Lovino's P.O.V.

I was sleeping. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I was sleeping. I was peaceful and calm and happy then some stupid fuck-face had to go and wake me up.

"Lovi~ Lovi, wake up." A voice called me and shook my arm. I was _thi_s close to ripping that arm off.

"What the fuck do you fuck'n want?" I swore and shut my eyes tighter.

"You shouldn't swear so much. It's bad for your health." Dr. Science informed me.

"I fuck'n know your making that the fuck up, fuck face. What the fuck do you fuckedy fuck want? Fuck fuck." I snarled, making my point clear.

"I'm lonely." He whined.

"Heaven forbid." I answered flatly and turned a cold shoulder.

"We'll be in Switzerland pretty soon." He told me, a sad edge to his voice. That's when I knew it. There was a punch line that Antonio was nervously getting to.

"Yeah, and…" I prompted, flipping over and giving him my attention.

"And that means we'll be in Germany soon so I just wanted to talk to you. Y'know…in case things go…wrong."

My heart stopped as the painful words settled into the rigid air. No…I didn't want to talk about that. I didn't want to consider that as a possibility at all.

"They won't." I lied. A pitiful smile crossed his face, his eyes focused on the road ahead.

"They might. I'm sorry , Lovi." He spoke soft.

"So? What if they do?" I asked, unsure of my question.

"Then…I want you to remember how much I love you."

"No…God, Toni. Don't do this to me…I don't want to have this conversation." My uneven voice begged.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry…but it might be the case so I don't want something to happen and not have said a proper good bye."

I leaned back in my seat, letting the gruesome words settle in. "It's going to be okay." I reassured again, mostly for my own sake.

"I love you Lovino…I love everything about you. I always have. You're my most precious memory."

I wanted to block him out. I wanted to silence his words. I hated this conversation. Ever word was a bitter bite to the back of my neck and the next was salt on the wound. I settled for staring blankly out the window and letting it wash over me, accepting the pain and begging myself not to cry this time. I had turned into such a cry baby and I wouldn't resort to that, I swore it.

"If something happens, DO NOT admit that you are homosexual. Go with them, do what they tell you to do and don't worry about me. If I'm alive, _I will find you_. Do you understand?"

I released a soft, almost invisible nod. _If I'm alive_…those words were bullets, penetrating deep into my body and haunting my hallow innards.

"Now…you are my everything. You are my Lovino, my feisty, pissy, sweet, caring, loving little boy. Never in ever would I forget that and I wish you wouldn't either. If you get scared…I want you to think of this time…or any other time. A time when we were happy and together and safe."

I felt so empty. Like he had already been taken away for me… I couldn't bare that. It was the worst kind of pain I knew…the pain of being separated from your love. It made me want to cry out every ounce of liquid that my body could hold. Damn Antonio… he was always the one giving me these feelings.

"Antonio…please…just say it's going to be alright…I just want to hear that now." I whispered.

"Yes, Mi Amour. In the end, it will be perfect." He said but I knew this was a promise he planned to keep after death. Now it was my turn, I supposed. It was only right. I had to force those words out of my heart, up my throat and open for Antonio to here. In order to do such, I had to kill off my hesitation and hostility. It all had to be true. Pure.

"I never gave much thought to death…I guess after being faced with it every day, it becomes just a metaphor for the day you stop winning. When you finally fall off that pyramid whether by being pushed off or just giving up.

I never thought about how I wanted to die…since it's not really an option but I think that dying knowing you've been loved is the best way to go. If I could have some recollection of my truest happiness…I would be willing to go. I guess what I'm trying to do is thank you. Because you have lived, I can leave knowing that I'm complete. I've had nothing else to give or take so I must already be done and just waiting for the end to come.

If that end comes today or tomorrow, I would have no say in changing that. I've heard god is equally merciful and just…that seems to mean that if I'm ready to go, he'll take me. So…if the time comes that I'm not here, I'm there. I'm glad I've loved and been loved. I'm glad I held and been held. I'm glad I've laughed and smiled. I'm glad I've cried and starved and run and fallen and broken and wished….

I'm glad I've belonged…..I'm glad I've belonged with you."

And so ended my good bye. This time, I wasn't the one to cry. In fact, I felt light. I felt like I had relieved my chest of a heavy weight. We pulled over, Antonio's head fell into his hands and he sat there, hunched and not moving. I gave him a few minutes. I waited for his head to perk back up, say something sappy then continue. Not this time. I must have broken something in him. I lightly laid a hand on his shoulder. At that moment, a hiccup and shaky breath released from the Spaniard.

Was he…crying...? Like, for real? He hadn't done that in front of me except once or twice when he was happy and dreaming. I didn't understand how a few words could do this to him. A few words that were supposed to be of light spirit. My hand calmly rubbed up and down his back. I hadn't done that enough.

It's not until everything's threatened that you realize how much you should have done. How many thing you were waiting to do and now too late for. I never wished I had been more hostile. I never wished I had pushed him away just once more or rejected his sappy love lines. I never once wished I had forgotten to tell him how much I loved him before bed.

Regret, my friends, is a heavy feeling. It hurts…oh god does it hurt. I never took the words 'Do everything you wish to while you still can' seriously until now. Father DeLuca had never been wrong. No matter how stupid everything he did and said seemed, he was right. Dammit, he was right.

Antonio sat up and pulled me into a tight embrace, not bothering to give me some words or even meeting my eyes. "Let me hold you, Lovi." He whispered into my ear, not that I would have fought anyways.

I remembered that advice…_while you still can_….I mulled it over again and again in my head until I was decided.

"Antonio…I was thinking…since this might be our last chance…..Would you want to do…that thing?" I asked. Sad emerald eyes broke away from my shoulder to answer me.

"Do you mean…make love?" His voice was plagued with shock.

"Yes…."I gulped hard. I was terrified. My bones were cold and frigid, not ready for it but willing if it was the only opportunity.

"No Lovino. Don't you worry about that." A kiss was planted on my forehead and the engine roared back to life.

"I love you Lovino."

"We're done with that now?" I asked, getting excited.

"Loving? No. Saying our good byes? Yes. That was awful." I was never more thankful that smile playing on his lips.

"Agreed. And it was entirely your fault so you owe me something good." I answered, letting myself smile too. It felt good.

"What? Why me?" His voice drifted back into it's usual peppy tone.

"Cause you made the mood all shitty!" I retorted, crossing my arms comfortably over my chest.

"Ah, I see. Well…I'll make the mood better then."

"What the hell does that-" I began.

"Fusosososososos~" The Spaniard began to chant with a big, dumb smile slopped over his face.

"What on earth is that!?" I cried, looking at the source of the alien noise which happened to be the man I was currently starting a life with (I make great decisions).

"It's a cheer-up charm! Fusososososo~" He explained.

"Oh my god, stop doing that!" I covered my ears from the weird sounds.

"Common Lovi, smile for me~" He cooed with lips pursed.

"Fuck off." I snarled.

"Fusososososo~" He continued, adding hand motions.

"I'm smiling, I'm smiling! Put your hand back on the wheel! I raised my cheeks and formed my mouth into a standard crescent shape. A very awkward crescent shape.

Big tan hands grabbed the wheel again, a slight laugh arose. "Well I can't really say you're not trying."

I played my fingers along the leather of the glove box, just enjoying the feel. "You're bad at being romantic." I added.

"I'll have you know I can be very romantic." His left hand reached over and covered mine which I responded to by shaking it off.

"Drive, idiot." I scolded. "How many times do I have to remind you? Eyes forward, hands on the wheel."

"Aw~! Lovi! Look! Those dogs are us. I'm the black one and you're the brown one." He exclaimed and pointed out the window to a scene I was sure he thought was romantic but I couldn't quite see from my seat. After struggling and readjusting, I managed to catch a glimpse of said dogs.

"I don't want to be the brown one!" I complained and settled back into my seat.

"Huh?" Antonio sat up and adjusted the rearview mirror so he could see the beauty I just saw. "Oh…well they weren't doing that a minute ago." He checked the mirror once more. "Looks like you're enjoying it, though." He noted, just in time for me to punch him in the stomach, causing us to swerve the whole road width.

"Hey! Weren't you just telling me about NOT driving like a lunatic!?" He regained control and steadied the car, leading it back on track.

"Fuck you." I growled, turning my back to the man I was trying desperately to hate. Stupid asshole! How demining and…humiliating! Comparing me to a bitch then going as far as to say I was enjoying it! That…that asshole! This meant war and I knew exactly what I had to do to win. This calls for a guilt trip. (Yes, I'm a jerk. I know but, who doesn't?)

"Aw~ Lo siento." His voice practically smiled at me. I could feel his stupid oblivion like sunshine, prodding hot rays at my back and waiting for me to submit to its power.

"No…your right." I answered in a solemn voice, hunching my shoulders over a bit more.

"No, no! Lovino, I was only joking. I'm sorry~" His voice had now subdued into a worried tone. He was hoping I wasn't actually too damaged. I could play damaged like a damn pro. My life was damaged.

"No…don't apologize. It's completely normal that you'd feel that way. Everyone else does." My wavered a bit, hinting at appending tears.

"It's not like that, Mi Tomata. _I'M_ not like that." He tried again.

"Obviously, you are." I metaphorically stroked my own head. I had him in the palm of my hand. Now it was just time to show him I forgave him, let him in on my act and-

"Fine, whatever. This is ridiculous Lovino. You're acting childish. I'm not going to beg for your pity like this." His voice shifted to cold unexpectedly. It was like a wash of liquid nitrogen, freezing me in my spot and threatening to shatter. I turned to look at him. He was…angry? Was that possible!?

"What?" I finally managed to ask. Not the best response, but the only one that came to mind.

He sneered at my question then returned to his scowl. "Don't act all innocent. You know exactly what I'm saying. I'm tired of trying to reason with you."

That one hurt. Antonio was the only person who _would_ try to reason with me! That's what made us so perfect! I'd lead him around life and keep the idiot from running into walls and in return, he would smile and pet me when I got pissy. What the hell was happening!?

"Antonio, stop being an idiot." I warned, in case real Antonio was still inside that mess. A hand reached out and took my chin, bringing it up so I was inches from his serious face. A smirk flashed over that uncharacteristic face.

"Don't mess with me, Lovino. Two can play at that game." He released his hold and broke into his usual sunshine smile. I was stunned.

Damn…I had good taste.

"I…love you…" I mumbled. I stared wide-eyed at him. Man, he was great. Perfect. And for the first time…_sexy_. That was the first time it hit me. I always found him very attractive and sweet and lovable but this was…sexy. He was cunning and witty and smart and…damn. Antonio could work it.

"Aw~ I love you too, Mi Tomata." His smile grew, proving wrong my theory that it was already bigger than the universe.

There was a new heat. Where? The most embarrassing place possible, lucky me. It took me a few minutes to realize I was sexually aroused for the first time. My face flushed and my curl began to crinkle. I really had no idea what I was supposed to do. I settled with manning up and telling the big man himself.

"Toni…" I whispered as if it were a secret.

"Si?" He kept his eyes on the road, as I had asked.

"You… made my body…um…warm." I said. He thought about my answer for a minute before realizing the massage I was trying to convey. He looked directly into my lap, no digression at all.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is it uncomfortable?" He asked, tomato red.

"No but…what do I do?"

"Just look out the window and wait. It'll take care of itself." He answered, looking back to the road. I complied, bringing the start to the series of awkward minutes that followed.

"We're in Germany now." He mentioned and pointed to the land in front of us as if it were any different from the land behind.

"Joy." I huffed, now relaxed.

"Let's think about something else. Like our house. What's our house like?" Antonio suggested.

"We haven't found it yet." I reminded him.

"I mean…what do you imagine."

"Hm…um…a house."

"Be a bit more imaginative! How about…a little wooden house with hundreds of yards of field in each direction. Green as far as the eye can see!"

"Great. So when our wooden house catches on fire and the field erupt into miles of flaming hell, we can run to nowhere."

"No, no, Lovi. We'll _wade into the bay_~"

"Yup, fabulous. You sure dream big, don't ya?"

"And when that house burns down due to lack of thought process when purchasing a wooden house, I'll build you a house on the very top of the hill so you can look out on the world."

"And so I can have a long fall when my back finally gives out."

"No, I'll make sure to build you some speed bumps too. It'll be like a fun ride!"

"Sounds like a blast."

"You can knit little sweaters for all of our little turtles and I'll teach them how to dance."

"You better be talking about reptiles when you say turtles."

"Or children."

"Oh, thanks for clearing that up for me. I'll get right on that."

"Well they don't have to be _our_ kids but it would be nice to have little niñas and niños running around, si?"

"When you find a woman perfectly willing to give her baby up to two men with a dysfunctional relationship, call me."

"Does that mean you're actually saying yes to children?"

"No."

"What? You don't like children?"

"I don't like screwing up children."

"You'd make a great daddy!"

"No I wouldn't. I'm pretty much the worst option ever for a parent."

"We all have things to learn. Do you _want_ children? Regardless your knowledge on raising them."

"…yes. But only one! I WILL NOT raise my children with one completely inferior to the other."

"But a child needs friends. We don't want a sissy."

"Don't call my child a sissy! It'll be the coolest kid ever!"

"Ever!"

"Our child will dance like a fuck'n angel!"

"Our child will outshine every other!"

"And our child will be no prissy-priss!"

"Of course not!"

There was a moment of silence before we both broke out in laughter. We laughed and joked all the way to our appending deaths, strictly ignoring the signs of an obvious dictatorship. Fuck the world and its problems. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha, ha, ha!

When we arrived in Chemnitz, it was not hard to find the missionaries' camp. Hint, it's the only giant tan building with a cross and five black cars outside. We parked behind the line of cars and hesitantly set out on German soil. This was when it began. If we could live through the next few hours, we were home free.

"Do we just…go inside?" Antonio asked nervously and stretched. It was getting dark. We had timed it so that our escape would be a simple slip out, set in the dead of night.

"I guess. I don't think we'll be attacked by thirty old ministers so we should be okay…" I wasn't actually quite sure of that. A lot of things had been changing as of recently. Who was I to say they wouldn't turn into crazy, blood sucking ninjas?

"Alright." He looked over to me, noticing a lack of redness in my face. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get this over with." I wished I could hold Antonio's hand. I was scared, petrified. In fact, I wanted to jump back into the car and run off to Spain but I had to shove that thought away. I had a brother. I had Antonio's friend and my brother's lover. It was time to grow a pair and stop running from trouble.

We continued inside. It was a gorgeous building. A huge archway caped over the entrance. Rich, antique carvings adorned each wall. It was a castle of its own kind.

"Ciao?" I called, thick echoes surrounding us.

"Eh? Ciao, Chi è qui? (Hello, who is here?)" A far voice answered. I knew Antonio was so curious but I didn't have time to play translator.

"Siamo viaggiatori (We are travelers)." I answered. A small, bald man in a white robe and red sash appeared. It felt good to speak in my fluent tongue.

"Benvenuti, fratelli. Quali aiuti avete voglia? (Welcome, brothers. What aid do you desire?)" He gave me a respectful nod that I returned.

"Desidero parlare con il fratello del mio sangue. Egli è disposto qui, Il suo nome è Feliciano. (I wish to speak with the brother of my blood. He is stationed here, his name is Feliciano.)" I explained. The man instantly understood, he began nodding.

"Due si assomigliano molto. Egli sta cucinando proprio ora. Devo dirgli che sei qui? (You two look much alike. He is cooking right now. Should I tell him you are here?)" Poor Antonio was so lost and so desperate to understand.

"Sì, grazie mille. (Yes, thank you very much)" We exchange nods and he leaves.

"What happened?" Antonio anxiously asked, nervous as to the fall out of our plot.

"It's alright. He's very polite, content to help. He's going to go get Feliciano right now." A deep sigh escaped Antonio. He nodded and we both waited utill we heard excited yelling and feet pattering on the ground. Before I knew it, there he was, wrapped around my neck and crying his little heart out. He knew while we were here. It was obvious by the way he kept whimpering 'god bless you' over and over.

"Fratello, let's speak outside." I offered and didn't even bother trying to pry the little one off.

"Of course, yes. Of course." He quickly waved over another man, silently telling him to follow.

I knew the instant I saw him that I hated him. He was big and burly. The amount of muscle on the young boy was disgusting. He would not smile. He just stiffly walked forward and ignored my presence. He was the exact opposite of Antonio.

"This is my brother." Once Feliciano said that, The German's eyes sparked a little with an emotion other than the flat blue one he had been wearing. He nodded respectfully to me and came outside with us. Once we were a safe distance from the house, I was jumped by my ecstatic look-a-like. He sobbed loudly and spurted out thanks.

"Oh God, bless you, brother! Oh God!" He cried. "I never expected this when I sent you that letter. We will live! You've come to save us, haven't you?"

"Yes…We're going to Spain." I answered. The arms around me tightened to the millionth degree, crushing my insides.

"God bless you. Oh my God…we will live!" This was all he managed to say before breaking into uncontrollable sobbing. The German man finally decided to pity me. He, with the help of Antonio, separated us. My brother clung to the macho bastard for dear life, effectively wetting the entire front of his shirt.

"Yes, but you'll need to be packed and ready to leave very soon." Antonio told the couple.

"We can't just _leave_, it's not allowed. And what about mein bruder?" The German finally spoke up.

"We plan to take your brother too. This has to be secret. A one-night escapade. Got it? Get what you need and we'll be back here with your brother as soon as we can." Antonio could not have chosen a better word for this endeavor than 'escapade'. By definition, this was a reckless adventure or wild prank. Nailed it.

Blondie nodded and held my brother. If there was one thing we didn't have in common, it was taste. I preferred tan, happy-go-lucky Spaniards while he was attracted to(though he didn't know it yet) big, stiff losers. Antonio stood up and brought me up with him. The German followed, slinging Feliciano over his shoulder.

"I'm really grateful of what you're doing for us. If there's something you need-" The German was instantly stopped in his great display of emotion.

"There is nothing, Amigo. I just ask that you are quick in your departure and keep off suspicions." Toni explained. We began to walk.

"I'll begin hatching plans! All of my prayers are answered!" Feliciano exclaimed.

"Please don't. You'll come up with something stupid." I said, putting an end to that dream.

"I have to help somehow! You're an angel!" As much as Antonio tried to hide it, I heard his muffled chuckle. Good-bye testicles.

"I'm not an angel and I don't need your help. Actually, what would _really_ help me would be for you to keep your mouth shut and stay out of the way."

"How about food!? I can package some food!" He suggested. That…would actually be a huge help. We only had a case full of cans (And they called me crazy. Whose laughing now!? Squirrel boy is!).

"Yeah, okay. But don't take too much. It would be like stealing." He quickly agreed with me. Ludwig put him down once we reached the house again. It began to sprinkle, making me more anxious to get into the car.

"Okay, fratello. I'll see you later then. May god be with you, you truly are a great soul." With that, the two went back inside and we look to the road.

I wasn't quite sure what this Gilbert was going to be like. I had warnings from Antonio , saying he was noisy, obnoxious, twitchy and excitable. Perfect. That sound like the _exact_ person I want to pull off an extremely dangerous act of treason with. If you didn't catch the sarcasm, it was…everywhere.

I took a deep breath before leaning back and closing my eyes. It might be my last siesta. It might be the last time I was lulled to sleep by the rhythmic breathing of my love. It might be the last…but damn it was a good one.

(Hi! My goal is to finish this before school starts up again so you'll see a lot of updating in the next week. Anyways, thank you for reading! You all mean so much to me. Till next time, bye!)


	14. Why I hate Germany

Chapter 14

Antonio's P.O.V.

(WARNING: foul mouth, profanities. Religious themes. Offensive themes/ language.)

Light rain turned to showers and then into little white fairies falling from heaven onto the windshield. For once, the world was quiet. It was so beautiful. Lovino was gently tucked into a little ball, eyes closed and releasing a soft whine with each breath. The sky had faded into a blue of all sorts. Pinks, greens and purples decorated the clouds. Road bumps erected thin weeps from my guitar that was bouncing in the trunk. All was beautiful.

If only it could have stayed that way. I hummed a song to the resting child. It was a song of my own creation, dedicated to him. I couldn't wait till this was all over. Till we had a humble little house of our own. I imagined dancing with him and kissing him to no end. I imagined me playing the guitar while he hung the laundry and he nagging me when I harvested tomatoes. I imagined us going to bed together every night without a worry in the world.

The little one began to stir and moan, bringing a greater happiness to my world. "Sleep well, Tomata?" I asked only to be ignored.

"Where are we?" He asked and shifted up, shivering with the change in weather.

"We'll be at Gilbert's house pretty soon." He checked the rural land outside the window. A thin blanket of fluff coated the earth.

"It's snowing…" He mumbled, Still subdued from his slumber. He was so cute. I knew I should really be watching the road but I instead kept glancing over to the auburn haired beauty who was fascinated by the winter rain.

"You look beautiful." I noted after seeing how the thin rays of light cause by the now waking moon illuminated his skin and lashes.

"Thank you." He whispered to not disturb the subtle silence. I was taken aback by this response. He never acknowledged his beauty nor did he ever thank me for a compliment.

"Are you alright?" I asked just as we went over a bum b, causing my guitar to cry out again.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He continued to dreamily look out the window. "Antonio, what are the stars?"

I considered telling him that they were balls of flaming gas but I didn't want to ruin the sweat dream that was probably playing in his head. "What do _you_ think they are?" I asked instead.

"I don't know." His accent seemed to be thickening; he was unconsciously loosing himself in the dream. "Father DeLuca said they were one of God's creations and we need not worry about them, only admire their beauty and be thankful. There's no many…I used to look at them and feel so lost. I was so small, so insignificant to this world. I wondered if it was just me out here after all or if I was important to someone else."

"You're the most important thing to me. More important than all the stars combined." That's when he smiled, no prompting, nothing. He was just happy. An indescribable happiness filled me every time he displayed that emotion but I had yet to master the art of extracting it. It was a game of waiting. I loved it. Lovino was exciting.

"It's nice to think that we'll become stars one day. I've heard that theory before. I hope we don't just stay here and wander around." There, ladies and gentlemen, is proof that Lovino Vargas can dream.

"I don't think that happens. Maybe it's just an up or down deal."

"If God is equally merciful and just, he must offer the option of time to figure things out, right? He would just push you along."

"I don't know much about God or his decisions."

"There was a girl who came into the church once, when I was little. She complained about being able to see and feel departed spirits. I used to think she was making it up but the way she cried and prayed for understanding…it seemed so real."

"What did she say?"

"She said that some spirits and angry and some are happy but most are just scared and confused. They would try to talk to her or follow her. I felt bad for the girl." He finally pulled his attention away from the window and redirected it on me. "She kept begging Father DeLuca to ask God to take them away but he said that God must have reasons for everything he did. I never saw her after that once."

"Lovi…" I wasn't sure how I was supposed to answer that. Finally, I decided to say something rather than nothing. "The stars…they are balls of burning gas millions of miles away. So is the sun. It's just a small part of the infinite space out there. I don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about God or why things are the way they are. I just know what on this planet, right here, right now, I have you. That's all I need to know and I won't push for anything else."

Lovino slumped over and rested against me. His eyes closed, a low hum resounded and his head lay lax on my shoulder. I gently pet it a few times, pure bliss flooded the moment. That's how it should be.

I hated to disrupt it ten minutes later but we had arrived and in order for it all to work out, we had to stick to the plan. There would be plenty of close time in the future…if all went well. I had to practically push the tired boy out of the car. Needless to say, I had lost his favor after that.

Gilbert lived in a small town, just like we had. There was no more than fifteen buildings total and the street hadn't even been important enough to pave. His house was falling apart at the seams. Shingles had fallen off, board had been pulled loose, sheets were used as blinds and the only decorations for the sad building were bird droppings and mostly peeled paint.

"Who the hell dares interrupt my sleep!" A familiar, scratchy voice answered. He had contracted pneumonia as a child and his throat had never quite healed. After a few minutes of waiting, a half-naked, rough looking albino appeared at the door, obviously very disgruntled. He saw us, stopped, squinted and stared.

"…Toni boy?" He asked, unbelieving of my presence.

"Hola, amigo." I shyly smiled and played the little hairs at the back of my neck through my fingers (A bad habit). Thankfully, Lovino didn't seem to mind like others had.

"What are you doing here!?" He almost threw me over with his hug but I was more than happy to return it. I had missed him. He was one of my best friends, we were joined at the hip for twenty-some years.

"Let's go inside, keep your voice down." I suggested. He must have been too overwhelmed to come up with a witty come back. He quickly commented on the weather and ushered us inside.

"So who's this?" Was the first thing he asked after locking the door and casually throwing and arm over the Italian's shoulder. Normally, I would protest to anyone but myself touching Lovino but in this case, he was family. I wouldn't with hold my most important possession from family.

"Oh! Gilbert, this is Lovino. Lovino, this is gilbert." I said and made the proper introductions. They shook hands (Gilbert grabbed Lovino's hand and violently tossed it around) then Gilbert led us to the sitting room and offered us food.

"Yeah, sure." Lovino answered as he made himself at home. He perched his feet up on the table and tiredly slung over the arm of the couch. "What do you have?"

"Uh, I don't know. Luddy usually shops for me. I think I can make rice." He answered. Lovino let out a dramatic sigh and pulled himself out of his relaxed state.

"I'll make something." He announced and dragged his limbs off towards the kitchen. Gilbert didn't bother to protest, he took a seat next to me.

"So who's the cutey?" He asked, giving me sly eyes.

"He's Lovino, remember?" How could he have forgotten? I told him just a minute ago.

"I meant who is he…_to you_?" He clarified. I gasped, suddenly understanding the original question.

"Oh, he is my love." I answered simply, surprising him.

"He's a…boy." His whispering, indicated that it was some sort of secret.

"Yes, it would seem that way, wouldn't it." I joked.

"Why on Earth did you bring him here! You should be here! Did you even READ my letter!?" His voice remained a hushed but strained, panicking for my safety.

"Si, I did. That is WHY I am here. Get your things together. You're leaving for Spain with us." It felt great to tell him that. His eyes widened into saucers and he stared at me.

"But…mein bruder….No. What you're doing is nice but I can't leave him." He said. I couldn't control the giant smile taking over my face.

"He's getting packed. We'll get him and Lovino's brother before we leave." I swear to God, I had never seen my friend cry. Not when he fell out of an oak tree, not when he was attacked by a bog, not when his long time crush left him for another boy. But right then, little moist droplets broke free and rolled down his pale face.

"Are you okay!?" I took his shoulders and shook him awake. He took me into another bone crushing hug.

"Dankeschön.(Thank you)" Was whispered into my ear and I was quickly released. My friend wiped viciously at the wetness, as if it were just a mistake and nothing had changed.

"Let's see what Lovi has made, he's a very good cook." I suggested, knowing he hated to show emotion like this.

"Fuck the food. Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go." With that, he jumped off the couch and ran away. I, personally, was starving and I didn't feel like giving up the opportunity of having a bite to eat. When I went into the kitchen, I found out that Lovino wasn't actually cooking at all. He was shoving his face with what appeared to be melon. When he saw me, he froze.

"What? It's not like he's going to need it in a few minutes!" He said in defense, holding the devoured fruit in his hands.

I smiled and approached him, taking the fruit that he was reluctant to hand over. "You got yourself all dirty." I said, whipping his face with my sleeve though it didn't fix the damp shirt.

"Shut up, just eat some melon." He searched around for cans and I followed orders, digging my teeth in hungrily. Suddenly, I knew how Lovino felt that first day I met him. When you're hungry, everything tastes so much better. Rich flavors pooled over my tongue but I didn't have time to savor them. I attacked the food with vicious intent, taking its life in seconds.

Lovino threw a raw potato at me once the melon was gone. "Can you really eat these like this?" I asked, rubbing dirt off its skin.

"I've eaten a cat before. You'll be fine." He answered.

"Wait, seriously!?" My stomach churned painfully with the thought. I knew he had been hungry but…a cat?

"Of course. It's all the rage in Northern Italy right now." He explained. While it sounded like a joke, it wasn't. If I had anything in my stomach, it wouldn't have been there for much longer.

"Actually, throw it in the trunk and I'll cook it later." He said, taking a bit of mercy on me. I was new to this whole 'providing for myself' concept. I nodded. After search a bit more, he pulled out a loaf of stale bread. "Here. It's stale but not moldy." He passed it to me and I accepted gratefully. It wasn't bad.

"Alright, let's go." Gilbert came out, potato sack slung over his shoulder.

"You're only bringing potatoes? Psh." Lovino scoffed.

"No, duh. It's all my awesome stuff!" He corrected, sneering back.

Lovino scorn suddenly flipped to interest. "Do you have any records?"

"I haven't heard recorded music for a long time." He pulled on a bit of a smile and began to carry his things outside. I felt bad for Lovino. He loved the music. Sure, I still had my guitar and he had brought his record of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy but we had no way of playing it. Lovino loved ragtime. He loved Louis Armstrong and Marion Harris and Jimmie Rogers. I found him singing along if the mood was right. It was beautiful, I hated that we had to leave that.

"We'll get a record player someday." I assured him after grabbing the last can and pulling him back out to the car. We drove, in what I at first though was silence, but was quickly turned into mindless babbling on Gilbert's part. My the time we got to the missionaries' camp, it was pitch black out. Ludwig and Feliciano were already waiting outside. They saw us, pulled two duggle bags out of a bush and squished into the back seat.

"Ciao, thank you so much! I was so worried you might not come back." The littlest Italian said and closed the door. The car began to roll forward.

"Of course we would come back. You don't have to worry, we're leaving now." I told him. He sent me a tear-filled smile and began to sleep. Ludwig and Gilbert talked about the Italian that just happened to be Lovi's brother .Yes, very ironic. I didn't pay attention to them, me and Lovino were busy in our own conversation, contemplating how we would budget our money.

Lovino's P.O.V.

Half an hour later, whining sounded from back seat, causing me to flip over and catch sight of my sleeping brother. He was uncomfortably shifting in his sleep and crying like a dog. The German was the first to take action. He calmly woke him up, knowing what was wrong which pissed me off. He was _my_ brother, I should be the one in on secrets with him.

"Is it your legs?" He asked quietly, resting a hand on the other's knee. Feliciano nodded and whipped away a tear.

"It's too tight in here." He tried shifting again. The German readjusted so the boy was sitting on his lap.

"Is this okay?" He asked me, not my brother.

"What the hell is going on?" I hissed. I was NOT liking the German douche at all.

"My legs." Feliciano explained, lifting his robe and then this pant legs. Braces dominated both stiff legs. They were more advanced than anything I had ever seen. They had knee covers that locked and joints that released them so the leg could bend.

"What…are those?" I asked in shock. He had seemed perfectly normal before.

"I only started walking six years ago…grandpa built these for me. It's too tight in here, my legs are being squished." I curiously reached a hand out, brushing my fingers over the cold metal. My brother…was hurt. I thought I hated him but now…my heart was tight. He was my brother, my blood, I was supposed to help him.

"Oh…Common, Fratello. Switch spots with me." I got on my knees and prepared to move. I don't know what changed. I had never been a companionate person but Feliciano was my baby brother and he was in pain, what else was I supposed to do? He nodded and began to make the awkward transition from back to front.

I was squished between two people I didn't like for the next twenty-six hours. Probably the best day of my life.

"Hey Toni, why don't you let me drive?" Gilbert offered.

"No thanks, Gil. We'll rest once we're a good way into France." Said Antonio , yawning and readjusting his hands.

"Toni, you've been driving for hours and it'll be at least three more until we reach France. You can't drive all of that." I said, reprimanding. The stupid idiot was going to die of exhaustion!

"Lovi, I don't trust anyone else to drive with you in the car." God, I loved him. Nobody else had ever given a damn about me. Now, it was my turn to help him. He would follow my word like the bible if I was affectionate so I had to do the most demeaning thing ever.

"Antonio, please,…Amore mio(Love of mine), don't push yourself like this. Pull over somewhere." I suggested. Apparently, my 'please' and pet name didn't get me anywhere.

"No, suspicion will arise tomorrow. We need to put space between us and them." His beautiful face was dead with tire. His usually shining eyes were sunken with ashy bags. I wanted to help him, he was my love.

"Stop being stupid." I insisted.

"I can make it." He looked forward, focused. "I only have to do this once. Then it's home free for everyone. Each inch forward is an inch closer to our house, right?"

"Antonio, be reasonable-"

"I know how to drive, my grandpa taught me." My brother said, cutting me off.

"You can't put your legs through that kind of stress." Ludwig corrected, looking at the younger with concern.

"Then I can sit on your lap. You work the pedals for me. I've seen you drive the military jeep around a few times." He suggested.

"Yah, I can do that."

"See!? Come back here and sleep, I'll keep an eye out" Normally, I wouldn't agree to let my brother and a muscly German freak team up into a mutant driving machine or invite Antonio back with me for a cuddle fest but the scenario was different. I had to do what was right for us. Hostility had no place when running from Nazis.

Antonio mulled the thoughts over then finally pulled over and tiredly got out as did my brother and Ludwig. They rearranged as planned and we began to drive. I leaned the tired boy against me in a way that would support his weight, keep him warm and allow me to pet his head relaxingly. NEVER would I admit to this. It was the sissiest, dumbest thing I had ever done but I kept reminding myself of the Spanish boy I was cradling in my arms and how much he deserved it. He was working so hard, he was giving up everything just for me. The least I could do is help him sleep soundly. I leaned down and began to sing quietly for him. I gently laced my fingers through his thick chocolate curls.

He had such beautiful hair. His face was so manly but soft at the same time, I didn't understand how such a human could exist. The song I sand was called April Showers by Al Jolson, it was one of Antonio's favorites. It was beautiful. Antonio closed his eyes and gave me the softest, sweetest smile. That made it all worth it.

I cooed him into sleep in no time. For the next three, I listened to my brother sing and trailed my fingers over tan skin. Gilbert took to singing along which was torture for everybody. I kept my word and stayed awake, constantly surveying our surroundings.

I woke Antonio up once we were getting close to the border. Velvety green eyes smiled up at me. "Common, sit up. Time for border patrol." I said. This instantly made him sit up and take a serious tone.

"Calm down, act natural. We're going to be okay. Antonio, look at me." Green puppy eyes looked into mine. "It's going to be okay. Just think about that little wooden house, alright?" He nodded and faced forward. We pulled over with only a mile to go, they rearranged into their previous placement, we assigned fake names and nervously drove up to the awaiting policemen.

"Identifizieren Sie sich.(identify yourselves)" He demanded. Gilbert elected himself the official translator.

"My name is Phillip, he is my brother Heintz, these three are our close family friends. The twins are Mario and Luigi and this is Romeo." He explained in German to the guard.

"Warum verlassen Sie das Land? (Why are you leaving the country?)" He asked.

"I have family in France, I want to bring them over to Germany so that they can survive the war and even be on the winning side." He said in his native tongue.

"Sie haben keinen Platz für Ihre Familie in diesem Auto. (You have no room for your family in that car)"

"Yes, because they will be leaving in their own cars so that they can fit their luggage."

"Ah, ich verstehe. Warum ist es notwendig, so viele Freunde mitbringen? (Ah. I see. Why is it necessary to bring so many friends with you?)"

"My sister is getting married in a few days. We will stay there for the wedding then come back. It is a very busy schedule."

"Schritt aus dem Auto.(Exit the vehicle)" When Gilbert translated this, my body froze but I complied with the order. We all exited the vehicle. The guard walked up and down the line of us, using his cane to support him though it looked like just a show to me.

"Wo sind Sie geboren?" He said and approached my brother. The blonde boy looked inches from attack.

"He wants to know where you were born." He told the little one.

"Italia." He answered like a soldier.

"Es ist ein gutes Land. (It is a good country)" He said and whacked my brothers legs with his cane. I just about tackled him, hearing my brother try to withhold a yelp.

"Bitte tun Sie das nicht. Er ist gelähmt. (Please don't do that. He is crippled.)" Ludwig said, obviously trying to contain himself.

"Meine Entschuldigung. (My apologies.)" He flashed a disgusting smile at us and continued down the line, stopping in front of me. "Und Sie sind sein Bruder? (And he is your brother?)" He asked and Gilbert translated. I nodded. He leaned closer interested by something on me. I very quickly found out what it was.

"Was ist das?(What is that?)" He asked and wrapped a hand around my curl, tugging unmercifully. I had no choice but to let out a yelp that melted into a moan. He seemed very confused.

"Was ist das?" He asked again, tugging harder. My head followed his pull, trying to ease the painful force. I couldn't see Antonio but I knew if I didn't fix this soon, he'd jump and make a mess.

"Gilbert! Tell him to let go! That hurts!" I German quickly relayed the message but I felt no change in pressure. Gilbert repeated, nothing changed.

"Dies ist so neugierig ...(This is so curious…)" He tugged my head up by the hair, extorting a loud moan. "Wie erstaunlich! (How amazing!)" He exclaimed. Gilbert tried to plead with him. Finally, Antonio took action as I feared he would.

The Spaniard forcefully ripped the man's hand off me and pulled him away. Dammit! We were dead. I knew it.

When I managed to look back at the two, the guard had pulled his weapon in defense. A gun…was pointed at Antonio…_MY_ Antonio.

"Please sir, we're sorry. Lower your weapon, my friend gets easily worked up. We'll just get back in the car and leave, alright?" Gilbert tried to calm him in their language. My brother had already started to cry and I was stuck frozen, just staring at them and trying to comprehend how close my love was to death.

Thankfully, the gun was still held and ready to fire but it lowered. Antonio took a breath of relief as did I. On the less fortunate side, Antonio made a move forward to offer peace but ended up spooking the man, causing his to lift and fire.

I remember blood and the loudest 'bang' I had ever heard. Everything was painfully slow. I saw it all. Antonio's arm spasmed and he grabbed it. He let out a cry of pain. Blood…down his arm, it dripped onto the ground. I was frozen. My body wouldn't move, my heart wouldn't beat, my gears wouldn't tick. I felt dead. My brain wouldn't process reality, it refused. People around me bustled but I didn't. They were all shut out. I was alone…all I could do was watch the man I love in pain.

In a split second, I was snapped out of it. The German grabbed me and brutally jammed me into the car, the engine roared to life, the vehicle shot forward. I quickly searched around, thoughts cascaded my mind faster than I could process. All I heard in my mind was the chanting of 'Where's Antonio?'. Finally, I pinpointed the loved one. He was in the passenger seat. I could see the hot scarlet liquid coating his sleeve. Labored breathing, screams and sobs filled the vehicle. Gilbert sped forward as fast as he could, swerving nervously.

I really don't remember much else. Antonio opened his eyes and turned toward me, sad smile on his face. His eyes were blood shot, filled to the brim with tears. "Lovi…I'm scared…I can't feel my arm." He said as loud as his hoarse voice could manage (Not very loud at all) and that was when I promptly passed out.

(Aw, snap! Don't worry, I'll clear up the confusion in next chapter. Bye!)


	15. The Hospital

Chapter 15.

Antonio's P.O.V.

My vision was growing blurry. I wasn't sure if it was because of the tears or the pain stinging my body. My mind sent message after message to my arm, begging it to respond but nothing came. I rubbed it, trying to awake the shocked limb but it might as well have not been attached from my body because I didn't feel it. I breathed heavily and tried to block out the sounds of Feliciano panic when I caught a frayed voice calling my name from behind. It was Lovino, oh my poor Lovino. He was crying and panting, he looked desperately at me.

"Lovi…I'm scared…I can't feel my arm." I told him just in time to see his eyes roll back and him collapse onto the back seat. I didn't blame his, it was better that way. We could get into France, get my arm looked at then continued as planned. The worst was already over, right?

Feliciano began to scream and cry over his brother now, nursing him in his unconscious sleep. On the bright side, the pain had eased substantially. On the darker side, that probably meant I was losing my arm more and more as each second passed and I was still losing blood. When I looked down to access the blood loss, I suddenly remembered how blood made me feel.

Rolling down the window as fast as I possibly could, I wriggled over and vomiting out the hole several times. That combined with the blood loss and heavy panting caused by my rising panic soon brought me to that wonderful land of unconsciousness. Never had I been so happy to pass out.

Gilbert's P.O.V.

I had only driven a few times in my life and never at this speed or this level of adrenalin. I shot a glance to my best friend bleeding out in the seat behind me. Shit! He was out. Good for him, bad for me. Now I was the adult.

"Ludwig, get up here and push on the wound." I demanded into the back seat. Soon enough, He managed to squirm half of his awkwardly large body up and obeyed my orders.

"Pull into a hospital as soon as you can, his pulse is weakening." He informed me. Dammit! If I could have pressed the petal and harder, I would have. My friend was DYING. The friend who risked his life to save mine and my brother's was losing that precious ruby liquid like sand. Dammit! Damn it all! All swear words I knew flew loose into the air, mostly all were aimed at the screaming Italian who was really getting on my nerves.

It took ten minutes to find the next town with a hospital. Ten god damn, pain staking minutes of screaming and crying and blood. "Ludwig, you get Antonio, I'll get the Italians." I announced and screeched into the parking lot. Parking is for idiots, real men life to drive up and stop inches from crashing into the front door. Hell yeah, feel the rush.

Ludwig immediately jumped out with Antonio over his shoulder and rushed in (he would make such a good soldier, it was scary). On the other hand, it took me a good long time to drag the two brothers out. Lovino was a bag of bones. It would have been plenty easy to just pick him up and follow Ludwig is it weren't for his look-a-like battling me for ownership of the body.

"Feli! Let the fuck go! Get out of the car!" I demanded and pulled the torso I had acquired.

"I will! Give me my brother, he's hurt!" He cried and pulled the legs.

"He's fine! He's asleep! Let go!" I insisted, trying to tug the boy free.

"No! He needs me! Please, give him back!" He held on for dear life to his brother. Sure, I would have done the same to Ludwig but that was besides the point!

"Feliciano, I swear to god, let the fuck go or I will pull that curl off! Do you understand me!? Let go, you're only in the way!" I growled and finally was able to sling Lovino over my shoulder.

"Common, you too, let's move." I held out a hand to the sobbing Italian. I felt a little bad for being so mean to him but the kid could really be a pain in the ass when he wanted to. I gave up on getting him to move since all he seemed to want to do was cry. I pulled him over my other shoulder, closed the door with my hip and headed inside.

I might have spent more time to appreciate the confused stares from the nurses if it were not for the dire emergency ahead. I invited myself inside and oh-so-politely asked for the room my friend was being held in.

"Where the fuck is Antonio." I asked, shifting the boys in hope to even out the weight. One was limp and light, the other was heavy and hasting.

"Excuse me?" The receptionist asked. I caught a glimpse of tissue poking out of her bra. I decided on not commenting about her being a stuffer. Any other day, I would have destroyed her.

"The big scary German guy carrying a bleeding Spaniard." I snapped a few times, as if to say 'get with the program here, lady.'

"They were taken to room three, just down the corridor." She answered, making the right decision not to piss me off any further. Without thanking her, I strutted down the hall, turning into room three the moment I saw it.

I dropped the boys against the wall. The older fell into a heap and the other yelped before cradling his sleeping sibling. I wasn't known as the most companionate person. "How's he?" I asked, seeing my brother seated beside a hospital bed, occupied by a sprawled out figure.

"The doctor just left for his materials. He has bandaged it though." He told me. I stepped forward, inspecting the body. His face had paled from its usual rich tan to a fleshly thin pigment.

"He's alive then?" I asked.

"Barely." He answer, keeping his eyes on the softly breathing man.

"Let's hope Lovino sleeps a long while." I said, allowing a smile to ease over me. Maybe Antonio would lose the limb but I kept him alive. That was pretty damn amazing.

"Yah, I'll take the two out soon. When the sun rises, I'll walk them in the town." He looked back to the two. Feliciano had calmed down.

"How do you purpose you'll convince them to go along?" I asked and pulled over another chair.

"I have some coins to give Feliciano and Lovino will no doubt want to buy a gift for Antonio. He won't admit it but he'll find something there." I nodded. The Italian had turned out to be quite the character. At first, I had no idea what Antonio saw in him. They were opposites. The longer I watched the two interact, the more innocent the relationship became. It was evident that they had fallen in love without concern to any other factors.

The doctor returned with a leather case. Without introducing himself, he opened the case, pushed me out of the way and began to work with the wound. I might have jumped his if not for my brother pulling me back. "We should go wait in the lobby. I'm sure they don't appreciate us here." He said, pulling me towards the door and handing me the limp brother. He himself took Feliciano without protest and we carried the two out to the lobby, each of us sat with our Italian on our lap. In France, this was less strange. Nobody questioned us on the matter.

I had never felt so old in my entire life. I was actually taking care of other people, I was doing responsible things…it was…weird. I didn't like it. I much preferred being a pain in the ass. I prayed Antonio would wake up soon.

Ludwig's P.O.V.

Feliciano settled soon. He decided to use the time we had in order to exercise his legs by holding onto the wall and making laps around the room. He wouldn't stop until I forced him to. The boy was panting and wincing with each step! It was stupid for him to push himself in that way, he knew that and yet he never rested.

The boy was really an idiot. He needed to be looked after. He was like a puppy that would just run out into the street to satisfy its innocent curiosity. In this case, Feliciano was the most innocent and the most curious. No matter what answer I gave for a question, he always had six more. It was tiring and frustrating but…I didn't mind. Puppies are cute.

"Feliciano, come sit down." I ordered. Excited by being mentioned, he turned his happy puppy face towards me and pranced over to my lap. He was a weird one. He always preferred to sit on my lap, regardless of how many open seats were open. He always wanted to hold my hand. If I didn't comply, his hand would unconsciously clench and unclench all day. Once happily perched on my lap, he let the questions flow.

"Have you seen an automaton?" He asked.

"Yes." And so it begins. One answer is never enough.

"Where?"

"In a barbershop window most times."

"How do they work?"

"Gears."

"What kind of gears?"

"Clock gears."

"Where do they get them?"

"I don't know."

"What _do_ you know about them?"

"Not much."

"Would you want to be one?"

"No."

"I would! It would be fun."

"You already are."

"Oh yeah! It's like a super power or something!"

"Not a very good one."

"Luddy, what superpower would you want if you HAD to have one? It has to be a good power too. You can't choose something stupid like the power of perfect diction." Normally, I would never have this conversation with anyone, including myself but the boy demanded my interaction and I gave it without second thought.

"Uh…The power to…breath water." I had no desire for that sort of super human ability but it was an answer that I knew he would accept as a legitimate choice.

"And they would call you the great-" He exclaimed, leaving a purposeful gap, awaiting my answer.

"Ludwig." I answered flatly.

"No! A cool superhero name! Like, the amazing fish man, Glubwig!"

"Why Glubwig? That sounds gross."

"Fishes say 'glub', that's why!"

"Oh, makes perfect sence."

"And I'll be your side-kick. I'll be robo-boy!"

"Well your name isn't a strange pun version of your name."

"I couldn't think of much that rhymed with Feliciano."

"Won't you just get rusty in the water?"

"No, because you have the super power to protect my legs from rusting."

"Alright."

"And Gilbert can be our nemeses!" Gilbert, hearing his name, broke out of his day dream and looked towards the accusing finger pointed at him. He smirked.

"They call me Gilbird! I can speak to birds and turn them into my evil minions!" His gestures either indicated that he was having a seizure or acting how he believed evil people acted.

"Ah! Save me, Glubwig! I am but Mary Lou, an innocent and defenseless dame! The evil Gilbird is dangling me over a shark-infested ocean!" Feliciano cried and began to fan himself with his hand. Gilbert let out a menacing laugh.

"Gilbert, Stop dangling Mary Lou over a shark-infested ocean." I commanded blandly. I wondered if the world was full of idiots or if they all just got attracted to me.

"It is not Gilbert, It is Gil-BIRD! And Gilbird doesn't respect your wishes! If he did what people asked, he probably wouldn't have ended up so mentally disturbed. He would probably be at a bar, chatting up babes instead of dangling them over large bodies of water. After this, I'll probably go eat to solve my problems because I wasn't loved enough as a child and-"

"Alright! Gil-BIRD, If you don't put Mary Lou down I'll…I'll force you to discuss your repressed feelings with a group of equally troubled individuals until a jury finds you fit to support a functioning lifestyle."

"Nooo! You have found my weakness!" He cringed as if being melted by my words.

"Oh, Glubwig! How brave! How can I ever repay you?" Feliciano asked, lips pursed and eyelashes batting.

"Uh…just, um…just doing my duty…ma'am." I asked and looked away from the little one once I felt my face grow red.

"But I MUST! As a token of my gratitude, I grant you a kiss~" As he began to lean forward just as I pushed him up, standing myself. Nope. No kissing. Not friendly kisses or anything.

"It's getting light out, let's go for a walk in town. I'll give you some money." I hastily told him, straightening my shirt.

"Okay! Are we taking Fratello?" He asked, excitedly pulling on my arm.

"Yes… but best not wake him up till we've put some distance between us and the hospital. We don't want him to freak out all at once." I explained.

"Oh, good idea! Gil, are you coming too?" He turned to the forgotten albino.

"No, I'm going to keep an eye on Antonio." He stood up, reached a hand beside the boy's head and pulled away to reveal a coin. Feliciano was blown away by the idea of money in his ear. "Get me chocolate, alright?" He dropped the coin into Feliciano's expecting hands. The Italian nodded, captivated by the coin. "Can I trust you to not lose it?" The Italian nodded again.

"Lets go." I said and picked up the darker brother. He was a lot nicer when he was asleep. Feliciano totted at my side and we left.

Lovino's P.O.V.

"Fratello? Fratello?" A distant voice asked, braking my black world and dragging me into a deluded one. I figure towered over me but I was sure I was smaller than usual. I was sitting. That was it. And…I was outside. There was sunshine. As the hazy images began to clear, I saw my brother and the German bastard. Memories soon unknotted and-

"Antonio!" I screamed as soon as I was conscious enough to remember that I had a mouth to scream with. With wide-eyes, I searched for the beloved Spaniard. He was gone. I was hurt, HE WAS HURT! Antonio was hurt! He was gone, I was lost. I couldn't see him! I needed to touch him, I needed to be with him. My Antonio! My dear, sweet, Antonio!

"Fratello, calm down! Please!" My brother cried and shook me by the shoulders. No! I couldn't be separated from him! I had to help him!

"Get the fuck off me! Where's Antonio! Where am I!?" I growled and shot to my feet. Even if he was my brother, I'd have no trouble breaking an arm. (God, what was wrong with me?)

"Fratello, don't hurt me!" I didn't notice my fist tucked under the collar of his shirt till just then. Before I could fix it, I was ripped off by the protective German. He stepped between us.

"Calm down. We're in France, Antonio is fine. He's in the hospital being treated right now. Okay?" He asked with a stern tone. I wasn't backing down just because he was big and scary. In fact, I was more ready to snap his neck than ever before.

"Okay!? Hell no! Fuck head, I hate you! Don't you dare try to _okay _me!" I let the devil inside burn full fury. My usual anger was puppy play compared to what I could be. I wasn't called the possessed child my whole life for nothing.

"We'll walk around a bit, calm down-" He started.

"No, we'll go there THIS INSTANT or I'll grab your baby testicles, rip them off and shove them so far up your ass, you can piss on your dumb ass brain. Comprende?!" I snarled, showing my shiny whites.

"Lovi, don't talk that way!" My brother cried.

"Don't you DARE call me Lovi! Antonio made that up, only HE can use it unless he dies in a fuck'n hospital bed WITHOUT ME!" No my voice had raised to full volume, attracting a few eyes.

"Lovino, if you don't calm down, I'll have to knock you out by force." The German threatened.

"Oh really, macho dick muncher!? You want another body part to join that mile-high club!? How about your ear!? I'll shove it up your ass and into your intestines so you can hear yourself create shit! You worthless, son of a-"

Blackness overtook. Damn him.

Feliciano's P.O.V.

We slumped my brother's limp body into a chair beside Antonio who was now awake. "Hey." I greeted the Spaniard.

"Lovi?" He blinked a few times then managed to focus on the boy.

"Yeah. We thought it would be nice for him to get some air." I told Toni before stoking my brother's head.

"And he fell asleep?" He struggled and managed to sit up.

"No…he freaked out and Luddy had to knock him out." I explained. A sad expression crossed the tan man's face.

"Aw…poor Lovi…can you put him in the bed for me?" He asked and made room beside himself in the bed. I looked nervously at the blonde man but he nodded and did as asked. The moment by brother was placed beside him, Antonio's right arm began to stroke him. He looked lovingly at the other, so happy to be reunited. I felt awful…

Gilbert had told us the story once we got back. We all knew what had come of that bullet and the arm it had hit. Lovino was the only one still in the dark. "Common, Tomata. Wake up." A Spanish voice cooed. I never imagined that someone could handle my brother the way this man did. He was so gentle…so understanding like he could just see right into the hostile one's skull. Lovino began to grumble and show signs of life.

"Aww, my poor baby." Antonio whispered, stroking his thumb across an olive cheek. Somehow, me managed to completely forget his own predicament when it came to sympathizing with Lovino. It was inhuman but…incredibly romantic.

"Mmm…Wrs ntnio…?" He mumbled, translating to 'where's Antonio?'. Said man had no trouble understanding this sleepy language.

"I'm right here, it's all okay." He answered, causing the honey eyes to flicker open. They turned to panic, his breathing quickened as did the hand stroking his head.

"Shh, It's all right, it's all right, It's all right." He lulled and soothed the boy.

"An…tonio?" He whimpered, tears accumulating.

"I'm alright, it's okay, _you're_ okay. It's all better now. No danger, okay?" He asked and received his answer in the form of a stifled nod. No one dared to speak or interrupt the two.

"Your…your arm?" He managed to spit out.

"It's…okay." He sighed. His stroking was the only thing keeping the boy steady.

"What does 'okay' mean?! Antoni-"

"Hush, hush Lovi. It's alright. Okay means…it works. It moves."

"It did that before…what _isn't_ it doing?"

"It…doesn't respond very much. The doctor cleaned it and wrapped it. The wound will heal but the nerve won't. It will get a bit stronger with exercise."

"How much stronger?"

"Um…I can lift it now if I concentrate. Sometimes I can wiggle my fingers. Most times it works on its own. With exercise, I'll gain more control but it's pretty much useless."

"Oh my god…."

"It's okay, it's okay. I can still do things."

"No it's not, that's an entire limb. Gone! Just…dead."

"It's weird. I'll have to get used to not having it. I'll have to get used to holding you with one arm and I might slow down doing somethings but life moves on, si?"

"Why are you so okay with this?"

"I'm not. I'm scared as hell but I'm doing exactly what you told me to do. I imagine that little wooden house and it's all better. I still have that in front of me so… it's alright."

"Antonio…I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything."

"You got hurt because you were helping me."

"Lovino, I would never regret taking that bullet instead of you. Never. Look, you're okay, I'm okay. It's all okay. See?"

"I…I need to think about this…"

"Alright." He closed his eyes and hummed a song. It was the same song Lovino had sung to him earlier. Lovino began to cry. I could tell he didn't want to do that in front of us but we all have to give in when it becomes too much. Antonio understood. He held the Italian with one arm and continued to hum. I had never seen two people so perfect for one another. It was absolutely beautiful. I prayed I could have that one day.

My brother began to smile. Not a big or even remarkable smile but a soft one. He was happy. They were reunited. All was right. We escorted ourselves out of the room to give the couple some much-deserved privacy.

Once back out to the lobby, I fell into the blonde giant. This was partially due to the horrible pain in my exhausted legs and partially because of what I witnessed in that room. They were in _love_. Two boys were in love…_true love_. The bible was wrong or maybe just not interpreted right. The fact was…that their love was the truest, most undeniably pure feeling in the world and I was starting to realize I could have that too. In fact, it could be right in front of me.

Yes, it's terrifying turning against something imbedded into your brain like language but it felt…right. It felt right to be with Ludwig. It felt right to look into his electric blue orbs. I loved them. I loved…no. I couldn't say that yet. I wasn't ready to figure out those feelings. For now, all I wanted to be held like my brother.

My jealously was settled when a confused and unsure arm hooked around by back. Maybe he felt what I felt…maybe I belonged with him and him with me…

Maybe this was all going to work out.

(Hah! He lives! Hallelujah! Thank you for reading, I appreciate you all! This is my shortest chapter so far, I apologize. I also truly apologize for all of the errors. I have limited computer access so when I finish a chapter, it's like two in the morning and I've lost my right mind. Someday, hopefully, I can go through and fix them all. Till next time, good bye!)


	16. Mi sento vivo

Chapter 16

(WARNING: Foul mouth, profanities. Also, the song used is "April Showers" by Al Jolson. You should check it out.)

Lovino's P.O.V. 

The three words I heard before I went to sleep in that hospital bed never left me. In my whole life, I repeated those words every single day. In his characteristic, rich, Spanish voice, Antonio uttered them softly against my ear.

"_Lovino, everything's changing_." Sleep gained control over my weak body, drifting my into a sweet peace that I was more than eager to enter.

When I was awoken, a little more than a few hours had passed. I grumbled and looked up to the one disturbing me. It was Antonio, my now one-armed love. "Common Lovi, the doctor left. We should get out now." He said, gently nudging me.

I blinked a few times, clearing my vision. "Don't we have to stay for your arm?" While that _was_ a concern, my true concern was being comfortable and sleeping beside the only person I had truly loved. Yeah, I said it. I'm man enough to be sappy in my own head. I loved him, I loved sleeping beside him, I loved everything about him.

"He's done everything he can for it. I'll leave some money but it's best we get out before we have to answer questions, alright?" I helped him sit up, mind you, he is heavy.

"Yeah…fine, whatever. Can you get out on your own or should I get macho bastard? Carrying people like potato sacks seems to be the only thing he's good for." I offered. This was actually a very generous of me. Not only was I choosing to show concern, I was also offering to speak with the German.

"That's so sweet of you~! But no, I'm fine now. My balance might take some time to readjust but I'm just as I was before." At least he could appreciate my attempt.

"Except, y'know, that arm that doesn't work anymore." I scoffed and lifted myself onto the floor. Cold instantly hit the bottom of my feet.

"Minor detail." He chuckled and ruffled a hand through my hair.

"Did you take off my shoes?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah. They're on the ground." He smiled his stupid smile as I found my shoes and put them on. Of course, they had heels. They weren't lady heels, of course not. They were manly riding heels but they gave me a bit of height. It was a miracle.

"Where are yours?" I asked. He pointed to the leather loafers, thrown into a heap in the corner. I brought them over.

"You can put these on by yourself?" I asked. He would probably never tie laces but these could be slipped on. Then again, I wasn't sure how much was limited now.

"I'm fine, Tomata. I'll show you, I can learn how to be normal again. You won't even remember what happened." He slipped his feet into his shoes.

"What happened, happened because of me." My head hung a bit in shame. That thought never once left me. No matter how much he denied that, I should have been the one losing a limb. It was _my_ problem and because Antonio tried to rescue me, he got hurt.

"Lovino, you stop that right now. I never want to hear you say that again." Antonio commanded, looking sternly into my eyes with his gorgeous Spanish green ones. Brown lips pursed in a way he thought was intimidating put was actually adorable. I could never argue with him. Dammit, he was a mind sabotage genius. I unconsciously stroked my hand across the warm, sun-kissed skin.

Our bodies moved closer. Antonio's eyelids drooped until he was peeking out lustfully from just the bottoms. "I would never want you hurt…do you understand that? I would do anything to keep you safe." Both arms wrapped around me. The right one formed to my body and held me close but the left could only do as much as bending at the joint, creating a loose cage.

"Yeah…I know…" I closed my eyes and rested my head against the man's chest. His heart beat was a steady rhythm, I was almost tranced until…until my ass was squeezed.

"Oi, bastard! Don't touch my ass!" I growled.

"I can't help it Lovi~ the arm has a mind of its own!" A stupid smile slopped over his face. The snarky bastard.

"Idiot! That's your right hand! There's nothing wrong with it!"

"Oh, but there is! It is hungry for the feel of your skin!"

"Shut up! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"It can't be the stupidest~"

"Your right. Once I hear you play the guitar with one hand, I'll have heard the stupidest thing ever." My happy spirit died the moment I saw that dark shadow fall over Antonio's face. "You…didn't even realize that, did you?" I asked. Of course, Antonio would never play the guitar again. In a split second, that dream had been ripped away. There were so many things that he would never do again but playing the guitar was by far one of the hardest to give up.

In a shocked silence, Antonio raised his right hand and watched the fingers wiggle. Maybe it made his feel good to see that control again. Maybe he was just remembering what the guitar felt like. He was a god when it came to that instrument. His fingers plucked each thick chord with such grace and speed, as if commanding their music. It was beautiful and…it was gone. If I ever saw that German guard again, he would not escape with his life.

"Antonio…are you alright?" I asked slowly. His face would give me no signs, I couldn't read him. It was agony.

"Lovino…?" A cracked voice asked, speaking my name as if it were tragic poetry. My heart stopped. "Lovino, let me hold you…" I instantly put myself in his embrace. Again, one arm was perfectly capable of caressing my form and guiding calloused fingers over my accentuated bones but the other was just barely there. It could bend around my body but not much else. I could see him straining, trying as hard as he could as if the arm would just suddenly kick off and obey his commands.

So then it hit him. I knew it would. Antonio's head fell onto my shoulder, a low whine released followed by stifled sobs. He was still trying; his arm was shaking and trying to move.

"Shh, it's alright…" I cooed and stroked his back, just as he had done for me. It hurt…I could feel his pain but there was no cure that I could offer. "It's alright…it's okay…" All of these were lies. We both knew that.

"I can feel it, I can feel it move but…it won't!" He cried.

"I'm sorry…" Was all I could offer. I continued to gently stroke his back. After a few minutes of silence, his tears didn't stop. It was time for another tactic. "_Life is not a highway strewn with flowers, still it holds a goodly share of bliss_." I began to sing in a low voice. It had calmed him back in the car and it seemed appropriate. Worth a shot.

"_When the sun gives way to April showers, here is the point you should never miss._ _Though April showers may come your way, they bring the flowers that bloom in May_." I sang softly and swayed my hips. I knew Antonio loved this song, he would undoubtedly dance witch would improve his mood.

"_So if it's raining, have no regrets. Because it isn't raining rain, you know…_" I left it open for Antonio who only shook his head (Which was still buried in my neck). "Common Antonio, I know you love this part." I whispered. I wanted my old happy Toni back.

A minute of silence followed then finally, in a muffled voice came, "It's raining violets."

"_And where you see clouds upon the hills, you soon will see crowds of daffodils." _A swaying motion started on Antonio's side. Normally, I wasn't the one trying to coax affection out of the other but now that I was, I could see how hard it was.

"_So keep on looking for a blue bird and list'ning for his song, whenever April showers come along._" I had managed to advance to a small waltz step with him. His head raised and made eye contact with me. I sent him a confident smile that was very lightly returned. This time, it was my turn to burry my face in his chest as we swayed. I hummed the sweet instrumental part.

"_And where you see clouds upon the hills, you soon will see crowds of daffodils.__So keep on looking for a blue bird and list'ning for his song, whenever April showers come along." _Antonio finished before I listed my head and kissed him. We lovingly brushed warm lips for a few minutes until he broke the kiss.

"We should get going, Tomata." For the first time, I was thrilled to hear him call me by that nickname. He was smiling, he was humming, he was Antonio again. I was certain he would go through fazes and it'd have to help him out countess times but I didn't care. As long as I got to see him smile again.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to get shot in the _other_ arm." Antonio chuckled that beautiful chuckle I had been missing. We dropped some bills on the bed and went out to the lobby were our 'friends' were waiting. My brother and Gilbert were sound asleep on blondie (Who, by the way, I had not at all forgiven). Said German noticed us instantly.

"I'm sorry, they wore themselves out playing super hero-"

"It doesn't matter." I interrupted rudely. "Just wake Feliciano up and drive us home."

"I can drive." Antonio interjected.

"I know but I'd rather you take it slow. The doctor probably drugged you up." I told him, slipping my right hand into his limps left one and holding. Little movement showed me that he was trying to hold back. That was good enough; I squeezed back to show I got the message and received a notorious smile.

Ludwig obeyed, shaking the little one awake and informing him of the current situation. In no time, we were loaded up and headed to Spain. Super driving duo sat in the driver's seat and Gilbert conked-out in the passenger seat, leaving me and Antonio in the back.

Feliciano did us all the favor of retelling the adventures of Glubwig and Robo-boy for the next two hours. Then, we played his suggested game of creating a story by each person, in order, adding an event to the previous one. Let me explain. Feliciano started with introducing a princess named Lady Leia. Ludwig went next, adding that she was upset because she was forced to play ridiculous games with her friends. Gilbert…was still asleep so he didn't play at all (lucky. Faking asleep didn't work for me.) Then it was Antonio's turn. He added that she decided to take a walk in the woods so she wouldn't be so sad.

Apparently, having her eaten by a bear and declaring the end was not an appropriate continuation for the story. Fuck stories, they all suck. I was forced to play the game, each time giving the least inventive answer possible like 'and then she blinked' or 'She felt sad'. I hated games, too fun.

"You know what, Antonio?" My brother chirped.

"What?" He responded, happily.

"If we got some measurements, I could ask grandpa to build you braces just like mine.

"Really…you could?" He asked, half shocked and half ecstatic.

"Of course! I mean, you're doing so much to help us. I'm sure he wouldn't mind!"

"Yes! I mean…yes, please. I would love that…" He settled down and regained himself.

"Thank you, Fratello." I answered and genuinely smiled. Maybe…Antonio could get better. I wasn't expecting a full recovery or anything but with enough practice, I was sure he could gain more control.

"No problem! I've only seen him make one before but it was amazing. Each finger had separate little joints and everything! The man it was built for would come in once a week so that grandpa could teach him how to use his arm. The braces are for keeping the digits still and practicing movements. Once an act is repeated enough, the body can remember it and it becomes a learned trait. It's so cool! He taught me all about it when I got my leg braces. I had to keep them locked for a long time so my legs could learn how to stay straight under pressure but after that I exercised them and learned how to walk!" He explained. When he spoke fast, it was almost impossible to decipher English from his thick accent but Toni seemed to catch every word.

"That's fantastic!" He exclaimed. I was equally happy but not nearly as expressive as Antonio who was strangling Feliciano and kissing his cheek. After that last move, I forcibly dragged him back into his seat beside me, earning myself a confused look.

"Lovi, why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry."

"Your face is red and your cheeks are puffy. Seriously Lovi, I've known you for long enough to recognize your angry face."

"Whatever, nothing. Just…keep your kissy face to yourself." I told him and directed my attention out the window.

"Aww~ Is my Lovinito celoso?" I just _knew_ that stupid pursed-lip smile was having a party on his face right now.

"That's Spanish for something, isn't it?" I growled.

"Not 'something' Lovi… jealous~ Are you jealous that I'm affectionate with your brother?" He asked.

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! Idiota!"

"Oh, okay them!" He chirped and started getting all lovey with Feliciano again. This wasn't an act of stupidity or even a result of him not being able to read the mood. No. this was spite. He WANTED me to react. Well fuck him! I didn't care!

"Aww, you're so cute!" He cooed. I didn't even turn around to see what they were doing, probably pinching cheeks or something. Still…It hurt when he called someone else 'cute', a word he had reserved for just me until now.

"Can you two keep it down? I'm trying to nap." I hissed

"Your hair is keeping such nice highlights in the winter! And your hands are so soft~" He commented. It was starting to irk me. I admit, I was possessive with my things or in this case, Antonio. He was mine, dammit! He chose to take _me_ home, he read to _me_ every night, he squeezed _my_ butt.

"Aww, your blush is so cute, Feli." A pet name! And no less, one just like mine! That was it. I grabbed his shirt and viciously pulled him back into my own possession. He wasn't Feliciano's, he was mine! Even if it meant acting like a wild animal, I was going to make that known.

"Get your own!" I growled at my brother and aggressively held the Spaniard. Feliciano really didn't care, he just giggled and kept his eyes on the road. Antonio, on the other hand, was at first shocked and then enthralled.

"LOVI, AWW~ LO SIENTO, MI AMOUR! LO SIENTO!" He cried with a passionate hymn to his words . He hugged me as tight as he could with his 'good' arm. "Of course, you are the only one for me! Aw, I love you so much! Your so cute!" His smile was bright enough suck all the electricity out of America.

"Let go of me! You're gonna fuck'n kill me, you leach!" I struggled against the killer grip. It loosen to a point where I could breathe but no more lack was given.

"I love you, Lovino~" He proclaimed while cradling me. "I love your voice and your hair and your eyes and the way you scowl and absolutely everything. I love how you run from police men and steal coins from wells, I love how you eat moldy bready and don't give a shit what others say." I kind smile crossed over his face as he began to reminisce. "I love how you kill fruit and try to bathe with your clothes on. I love how excited you get when I introduce you to new things. I love how you listen to shitty poetry and-"

"Alright, old man. I get it. " All of those memories seemed like years ago though it was only a matter of weeks.

"I don't think you do~" Little kisses trailed along my neck.

"Idiot! Not here!" I pushed his face away. What the hell was wrong with him! We couldn't just get all kissy-n-shit in front of other people! Good lord, that boy had to get things straight in his head.

"They don't mind, do you?" He asked. Feliciano was all for messing around while Ludwig remained silent and Gilbert grunted tiredly, not bothering to wake up and figure out what was being asked.

"No, I'm not getting lovey-fluffy shit. No exceptions." I declared sternly. I thought I heard a sigh of relief from Ludwig.

"I think you mean lovey-dovey, amour." My captor corrected.

"I mean what I said!" I huffed, purposely disobedient.

"_Though April showers~"_

"Stop it!"

"May come your way~"

"Knock it off!"

"_They bring flowers that bloom in May!"_ That last verse was rushed as he tried to dodge my flying fists. "Common, Lovi. You like that song!"

I flushed red. "So? That doesn't mean anything!" The car made an abrupt stop. Feliciano requested Ludwig get out and move another injured bird off the road which he had already done three times during the trip. Regardless, he trudged out and moved it into a bush. We all knew it was going to die but nobody felt like bringing it up to the little, innocent boy. Blondie took the chance also to refuel the car with some gas he had bought in the previous town. I specifically designated that HIS job, lest it combust.

The next five hours were sleeping time, as suggested by me. It was comfortable enough. We could awkwardly half lie down in the back of the 1930 Cadillac twelve with our arms around each other and bodies close. I was only agreeing to it because any other way would have resulted in my falling off or being cold. It was cold out, dammit!

When I woke up, we all decided to eat out since we were sick and tired of canned food. Feliciano was picky as hell and had been living off peaches. Maybe protein would me a nice change in pace. The farther into population we got, the more wreckage was clear. Some cities had left no more trace than a pile if rumble and a lone wall. Other, were cities of havoc and starvation. I chose not to look. I already _knew_ what it look like. People eating anything they can find, sleeping in the streets, lying dead in the gutter or killing each other. I had lived that, I didn't need anymore. Feliciano had been commanded to close his eyes and did so (Ludwig drove). In one especially devastated town, people were banging on the windows and running after the car. I didn't even flinch but Antonio seemed quite disturbed by the reality of depression.

I had been like them. I had stolen, beaten, scavenged…all of that. I drank from muddy muddles, just like them. I accumulated bald spots now and then, just like them. I had fleas and tick and lice, just like them. But now I was like Antonio. I wore clean clothes, I got treated for bugs, I bathed more than once a month. I was a different Lovino.

When we finally got to the more prosperous towns, I couldn't express my thankfulness. Cities of boxes had been set up to house those who had lost shelter. There was a city farm, grown and cultivated by the civilians. These sorts of town are the ones you pray to find as a bum. They are a community. Little was the corruption in these places.

We stopped in the Loire Valley, seeing as it wasn't too disheveled and a few food stands were perched along the street. Thankfully for us, none of us could speak French so we were really fuck'n confused for really fuck'n long till a man in a cafe suggested he find his friend who spoke English. Of course, this message was received through made up sign language so he could have very well brought us a dead fish. I was just hoping it would actually be a person who actually spoke English.

I sighed and tiredly leaned against the wall. It was a bakery of some sort and we were trying to purchase bread. Antonio quickly pet my head, showing sympathy. We had been looking for food for over an hour and now we had landed here, waiting on a man I was sure wasn't coming back. I was worn out and pissed off, a combination that wasn't pleasant for anyone.

"He'll be back soon with his friend, we'll get food then we can be back on the road, headed home." The Spaniard reassured. I nodded, I didn't feel like arguing. "Why don't you sit down?" He offered.

"I've been sitting for the past…forever." I complained in return.

"Well… you could."

I awaited a response but nothing came. I turned to see Antonio's eyes fixed on the counter and man behind. In unison, Antonio and Gilbert cried out a name I didn't quite catch because of the pure magnitude of the shouting and ninja jumped over the counter, onto the man. Three voices started yelling, too jumbled to be deciphered. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought it was some sort of strange sexual act.

"What the fuck is going on!?" I exclaimed and strode over to the counter, looking over at the mess. The three boys were doing something between hugging, wrestling and giving the most violent nuggies I've ever seen. I didn't want to get involved, I really didn't, but when some freaky, blonde, shit head starts kissing MY Antonio, measures must be taken.

I jumped over into the man-heap and tugged the pervert's head away by a fistful of girly hair. The priss, of course, started to yell and didn't stop until I was pried off by my 'boyfriend'(That word just doesn't sound right).

"Lovi, calm down!" He pleaded, holding me against him with his good arm while the other hung down lifelessly.

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS BASTARD AND WHY THE HELL IS HE TRYING TO SHOVE HIS TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT!?" I demanded.

"Lovi, this is my friend, Francis! Franny, this is my Lovi." My growling dog impersonation was impeccable. Blondie Fuck Face (his new, assigned name) turned from shocked to rape-faced, it gave me the shivers.

"Oh? This _Lovi~,_ he wouldn't happen to want to be friends, would he?" He asked me and said my name like a fuck'n poem or something. It was unnatural.

"I'll stab you though the heart with a fork." I answered with a hell-torn fury.

A devilish smirk crossed his face. "Ah~ feisty, I see. That's how I like 'em. What do you say I treat you to-"

"Hands off Franny." Antonio interjected, a stupid happy smile concealing his threatening face. Damn…he was just as scary as his mother when she did that.

The Frenchman put up his hands in defense. "I did not know that you were so attached to the boy."

"He is _my_ boy." He clarified. Blondie Fuck Face was obviously wondering if he meant that in the sense that I was purchased for 'a specific purpose' but decided against asking. He might have just saved his life.

"Okay, he's _your_ boy. No ifs ands or butts" He said and stood up followed by the others including myself. "So what brings you all to this lovely country?"

"Running from war. We're going to Spain." He explained, not afraid to say it out loud since we were the only English speakers.

"Ah, I see! How brave!" He exclaimed, clapping the Spaniard's shoulder.

"Y'know…we can fit another person." He suggested. I was ready to rip off those sexy curls. I was NOT going to sit next to that…freak!

"Non cher, I am just fine here. I might even move forever." BFF said.

"France was destroyed after the great war and I'm sure the Germans won't hesitate to do it again."

"I am not afraid. I am done running from my troubles. I would rather die a proud Frenchman than a cowering runaway. Besides, we have a strong line of allies." While this was an honorable, noble thing to say, he was also calling me a cowering runaway. That bitch. His knew name was Bitch.

"Are you sure? Sometimes, running is the best thing you can do." Toni tried again.

"I am sure. My darling country needs me to tend her wounds and settle her broken spirit." The Bitch said.

"Well, it is your choice. I wish you the best of luck, mi amigo." He gave his friend a one-armed hug.

"What has happened to your arm?" He suddenly noticed that the limb hadn't been active at all.

"It was shot." He answered and pulled up a smile.

"What!? Who?" He exclaimed and examined it, pulling up his sleeve to see the bandage. I wanted to whack his hands away but reminded myself that other people have the right to touch the tan boy too.

"Um…a German border patrol officer." He answered.

"Why!? What happened?"

"It's a long story. Sorry, we're king of in a hurry. I really miss you and I'd really love to chat but we only came here for food. We need to hit the road." And that's when we were talked into stayed the night since they had extra rooms, lots of food and a good place to put the car. We all wanted to sleep in a warm bed and eat warm food. It wasn't a hard decision.

For dinner, we were treated to cooked potatoes and bread. Both were hot, fresh and absolutely delicious. We all bathed in hot water and collapsed into our beds. The three dumb asses all wanted to stay in the same room so I insisted I stay with them, lest Antonio be raped in the middle of the night. This proposition was accepted by all three and we were situated in the living room. Me and Antonio took the couch, Francis called the cot and gilbert was kicked to the ground with a few blankets. The other two were given the spare room.

"Hey, Tony boy." The scratchy-voiced albino called.

"Mm" Antonio grunted with me tucked into him and an arm slung over my frame. It was so warm.

"Let's gossip! Like the good old days!" He suggested. A rustling noise informed me that they had gained the Frenchy's attention.

"It's so late." The Spaniard whined.

"About what?" Francis asked, ignoring Antonio.

"Girls! What else!?" He cheered, I stiffened. A few gentle strokes down my body convinced me not to worry.

"Guys, I'm tired." Antonio protested again.

"Common Toni, we all know you're gay as a dolphin, you don't have to be secretive. We can talk about boys with you." Francis said.

"Wait, dolphins are gay?" He lifted his head a bit, surprised.

"Yeah, you didn't know that?" The German added to the already awkward topic.

"They can be straight too." The Frenchman mentioned

"Are you a dolphin?" The German retorted, sounding a little serious.

"I like to believe so." His reply was just as cool as the question.

"Wait, we're not talking about dolphins. We're talking about the big 'S'. So, Toni, how was Italy?"

"What's that got to do with sex?"

"What kind of sex did you have in Italy?" Blondie clarified.

"I didn't." The Spaniard answered simply. I smiled a little bit. I didn't take joy in knowing he hadn't gotten laid, I took joy in him not laying other people. Does that make sence?

"What? I thought that's what the kid is for?" If I didn't want to kill that bitch before, I did now.

"No." He answered sternly.

"What exactly do you two have then if it's not sexual?" The baffled Frenchy asked.

"Love. I love him and he loves me."

"Then why aren't you two having sex!?" Finally, it was time for me to speak up.

"I don't expect a perverted idiot like yourself to understand but _SOME_ people have actual desires that don't solely involve their penis!" I snarled. There was a long moment of silence before Gilbert decided to break it.

"Man Toni, you get all the good ones." He said.

"Agreed." Francis added instantly.

Proud? Maybe just a little bit. It was nice to be appreciated for the catch I was. "okay Franny, your turn. How have you been in France?" Toni asked.

"To put it simply, France has never loved me more."

"I think my brother might be getting with the little one pretty soon."

"Idiota. They already ARE together, they just don't know how to admit it yet." I added, now officially part of the gossip circle.

"There's like a gay vibe going around or something. Pretty soon, I'll be gay too." Gilbert predicted as easily as weather.

"We can all be burned on the same stake." Francis chuckled.

"Toni, when did you know you were gay?" The albino asked.

"When I saw Lovino." He answered, eyes closed with a tired heaviness that I was feeling on my own lids.

"What?" He instantly replied.

"I'm not gay and…I'm not straight. I only love one person. I don't believe love can be defined by picking sides. As far as I know, it's unpredictable."

"Deep, man."

"Shut up, Gilbert. You don't know anything about _l'amour_. Toni is obviously grown up into a man now!"

"Oh, our little baby is all grown up!" He impersonated the voice of a wailing mother.

"The wee babe! I might just cry, dear."

"I remember swaddling him and feed him from my breast!"

"You guys are disgusting, go to bed!" I growled at the two. Laughter broke out and after a few more jokes, sleep silenced the room.

We slept in a good, long time till the scent of food eventually dragged us all out. I was far too comfortably situated in Antonio's hold to leave but after some insisting and butt squeezing, I was awake and downstairs. Breakfast was fresh milk(a rare delicacy), eggs and toast. I had never been so full in my life, it was delicious.

We left not much after. The three friends chatted for a bit about things that should not be repeated then said their goodbyes. We left with three loafs of bread as a gift from the Frenchman. I insisted we savor the food but it was still warm and delicious so the others were anxious to eat it right then. I divvied up half a loaf but refused to spare anymore. Greedy savages.

The trip to Spain went rather smoothly. Feliciano, once again, provided the entertainment by making up stories and telling tales of his travels. I gave a quick synopsis of my life, Gilbert told us about a drunk dream and Antonio explained politics. Ludwig claimed he had no stories to tell so nobody pressed him for any. Feliciano was very interested in the story of Mikro Meros and had me repeat it several times. Another one of his favorites was the tale of me saving Antonio from his evil relitaves.

These stories filled our time as we passed through France and finally arrived in Spain. "So where do we go from here?" My brother, the driver, asked.

"We want to get far into the country. Wherever you see hills, go into them. We can drop you three in a well-populated town. You can find your way from there, right?" Antonio asked.

"Si, sounds perfect." He answered and began to hum.

As instructed we followed the hills and started to find little tucked away towns. We drove slowly through each, inspecting them carefully. We passed three inadequate ones till we came upon a beautiful, peaceful town called Nerja. It was gorgeous. Every building along the hillside was pure white, highlighted only by the vast blue ocean. We were told to keep away from the shore but it had it's own private cove, secluded from the word. It was perfect. There was never a better place for them to start their lives.

When we opened the door, the first thing that hit us was the weather. It was cool and windy but graced with a bright Spanish sun. "You're okay here?" I asked again and pulled the last of my brother's bags out of the trunk. That question was mostley a joke. Who _wouldn't_ be okay with it? It was a paradise. By asking if he was okay there, I actually meant, 'isn't your brother the greatest?'

"Si, si. Thank you, Fratello." He smiled and quickly wrapped me into a tight hug. I had to admit, I felt pretty great. He was my brother, regardless how long I had known it, and I felt complete by setting him on his own crippled feet. He was set and ready to go, he could have a great life now. We kissed cheeks, the proper Italian goodbye and gave one last hug.

"Okay, in three days, this time, this spot, we'll meet back up. I'll get you our new address and you'll give me yours. Alright?" I asked. We planned to continue west a bit and see what we could find.

"Yes. Three days. Same time, same spot. Got it." Ludwig nodded too, half understanding, half thanking.

"Okay. Good bye for now, best of luck." I let go of my look-a-like, giving him a little smile that he replicated tearfully. I headed towards the car.

"Arrivederci! Don't be afraid to, you'll always be my brother! Grazie! Arrivederci!(Goodbye, thank you)" He called and waved before I got in the car and we left.

"Do you miss him?" Antonio asked. We were alone now. Only us and our future.

"I guess…I haven't really known him too long but…yeah. I miss him." I answered, letting a true smile creep onto my face.

"I'm gald."

"Your glad I miss him!?"

"Yes but no." He chuckled. "I'm glad you've learned how to love. Loving me is one thing but loving those you don't _have_ to love is a whole different gift."

"Yeah…I guess it is." I agreed. I almost NEVER agreed with sappy things but…really, who was I kidding? I didn't need to be hostile with Antonio. I _loved_ this man.

"I love you, Lovinito." He said softly, meaning every syllable.

"I love you too." I had never really said it so straight forward but it was true and I _meant_ it

I looked forward into the lush hills and phantom blue skies that had been plagued with cottony white puffs. It was the sort of image you see in magazines but now it was mine. Antonio was mine.

I smiled and glanced over at the Spaniard I had fallen so madly in love with. With three swift words, I expressed exactly how I felt.

"You belong with me."

-Four months later-

We had found that house. God, it was perfect. Just as we had imagined, it was a little white, wooden house with a big porch. It was abandoned with only a few sheet-covered pieces of furniture, including a bed, which we put to good use the first night there. It was always sunny, the Spanish curse that worked more as a blessing. Our clothes were always on the line, my brother was always on the couch and song was always filling the halls.

True, some days we went hungrier than others but we were never dirty. Antonio could sweep like fuck'n machine with only one arm and we backed right up to a river bend. Miles of green surrounded us in every direction; a small portion of it was currently harvesting little red fruits.

Antonio's brace came the day before and he had been diligently exercising his arm since. We finished Oliver Twist then read it again and again. Each time, I picked up things I had missed the time before.

Antonio found a baby turtle that he named Pepe and sang to everyday. We hadn't yet bought a record player since we hadn't sold many tomatoes but that didn't stop us from dancing. Every day was better than the one before. Every day was filled with music and laughter and letters from Mama.

Life had never been so good. From a street rat to the happiest person on earth, I had made the greatest transformation of my life. I had the house and the breeze and most importantly, I had Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.

Never could I want anything else.

**THE END.**

(Yay! I'm going to miss this story but I'm so glad I gave it to you all. Now, challenge time. Here's the challenge, comment your favorite color. Thank you all so much for reading. I'm so thankful. Goodbye!)


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